# We're Saying GoodBye To Jack



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

Since we've moved into this apartment there have been a lot of dog problems. Not necessarily Venus and Jack, but another dog... Those people were forced to get rid of their dog (which they had just gotten) and since then have been on a rampage trying to get everyone else's dogs kicked out of here as well. Jack has been the sweetest dog ever, especially cuddling up and sleeping with Gabe, but he cries and yelps when I have to leave him home, and we're now being threatened with eviction because of it. I've been crying all weekend trying to find him a new home, with no luck. I know I haven't been around with everything that's been going on with us for over the past year, but I felt like I needed to come here and say something...
This is becoming more and more difficult for us. Jer finally came home after 2 months and he has to try and say goodbye to Jack, and he's very upset. The last time he said goodbye to a pet was when his dad ran over his dog that Jer had bought for his mom before she died. I feel like I'm really letting him down right now. I've been personally having issues with caring for both dogs and the baby by myself all the time, and had been considering rehoming Jack in the back of my mind for a few months now, but now that it's coming down to our only option, I feel completely overwhelmed and keep questioning myself. I don't know if I'll be able to get over this. I feel like our family is being destroyed, but at the same time, my life while I'm alone with Gabe will be that much easier.
I just needed to vent I guess. I think you guys are the only ones who could understand what I'm trying to deal with right now. Will I ever feel ok again? Will I ever feel at peace with sending him to a new home?


----------



## mooberry (Jan 31, 2011)

I think if you find him a good home that you can keep in contact with yes you will feel okay. You need to figure out if your feeling guilty or letting him down, and if so why. And try that very very last time to rectify the situation, if at all possible. 

Another option is to move. If that is a viable option and losing him is too much that you may have to have a family friend watch him while you decide. 

Last option, have you thought of a rescue they will take very good care of him and you can be sure of it. Also if say something happens are you are able to take him back if he is in a foster home still you can adopt him again. Those are the options I would recommend I'm so sorry you have to go through this but I know you will do what is best for you and your family.


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

We've been trying to save up to move hack into a house, but things have just been so slow with us getting back on our feet. Right now after rent, bills and food, we have nothing left at the end of the month. I'm still trying to explore some last minute options. I guess I just feel sorry for Jer, letting both of us get attached to Jack and now having to give him up. I feel a little selfish for feeling overwhelmed and not just working harder to fix everything but I don't know what else to try with him. It's not his fault, he just gets so sad when I'm not around. The woman I've been talking to is middle-aged, single, and has a chi/min-pin mix. She just last a chi last month to heart failure, and doesn't want a puppy. So far Jack seems to be the perfect fit for her, and she has already offered to keep in touch with me via phone and email to keep me updated about Jack, but I can still feel my heart breaking.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

There's an easy, simple, humane solution...have him debarked. He won't know the difference, and your neighbors will no longer be able to hear him. To me, this is a much better, more humane, better for the dog (and you!) solution than rehoming or turning him in to a shelter. There is a lot of negative stimuli around debarks and frankly its without reason...people are emotionally immature and selfish if they are against it. 2 of ours have had their barks softened...it only worked on 1 of them, but we had the least invasive method done which is also the least effective and we knew that (where they go down the throat and do a quick nick on either side of the vocal chords and they are awake a few seconds later and have no clue anything's gone wrong), but in your case I'd look for a vet that makes a small incision in the neck to do the surgery. The voice box is not removed and your dog will not be "raspy" or unable to make noise, but the noise will no longer carry or be loud. You get to keep your dog, and your dog gets to make his noise and everyone is happy.


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

I've never thought about something like that.. Do you know of any good links to research this more? If I knew it was a good option for him I guess it would be something to consider!


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

It can be tough to find vets that know how to do it, but it shouldn't cost more than $100 (it actually only cost me $45 for mine, but you prob want to go w/ the one more guaranteed to work and it will be a bit more)...

Here is an article to get you started: NAIA: Debarking  (Bark Softening) - Myths and Facts

A lot of people don't like the idea, I'm really not sure why...if it helps someone keep their dog and live peacefully in their home, you can be darn sure its not bothering or hurting the dog


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

Just thought I'd add -- I show a few of my dogs, and almost every person at the dog shows esp. w/ "talkative" toy breeds seems to have their dogs debarked these days and they are all just fine, happy and dandy


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

Do you know if this would still help with him just crying and howling? Jack doesn't really bark at all, it's just that he tries to howl.. and it sounds like he's literally screaming.


----------



## mooberry (Jan 31, 2011)

lilbabyvenus said:


> Do you know if this would still help with him just crying and howling? Jack doesn't really bark at all, it's just that he tries to howl.. and it sounds like he's literally screaming.


This could be a great option for you!!

I still like the idea of rehoming him, I actually think of it as 'more humane' -not that debarking isn't I have never looked into it so I don't have an opinion on it.

My thought is that you already thought of rehoming him. And the woman if you feel you can trust her etc is what you think is best for you and your family I would consider it. Do you think he's getting all he needs from you?

You know your dog and your family best and I'm so glad that you have more options now!!!

Please keep us updated : D


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

lilbabyvenus said:


> Do you know if this would still help with him just crying and howling? Jack doesn't really bark at all, it's just that he tries to howl.. and it sounds like he's literally screaming.


Yes it makes all their sounds quieter


----------



## vicsta55 (Apr 20, 2011)

lilbabyvenus said:


> Since we've moved into this apartment there have been a lot of dog problems. Not necessarily Venus and Jack, but another dog... Those people were forced to get rid of their dog (which they had just gotten) and since then have been on a rampage trying to get everyone else's dogs kicked out of here as well. Jack has been the sweetest dog ever, especially cuddling up and sleeping with Gabe, but he cries and yelps when I have to leave him home, and we're now being threatened with eviction because of it. I've been crying all weekend trying to find him a new home, with no luck. I know I haven't been around with everything that's been going on with us for over the past year, but I felt like I needed to come here and say something...
> This is becoming more and more difficult for us. Jer finally came home after 2 months and he has to try and say goodbye to Jack, and he's very upset. The last time he said goodbye to a pet was when his dad ran over his dog that Jer had bought for his mom before she died. I feel like I'm really letting him down right now. I've been personally having issues with caring for both dogs and the baby by myself all the time, and had been considering rehoming Jack in the back of my mind for a few months now, but now that it's coming down to our only option, I feel completely overwhelmed and keep questioning myself. I don't know if I'll be able to get over this. I feel like our family is being destroyed, but at the same time, my life while I'm alone with Gabe will be that much easier.
> I just needed to vent I guess. I think you guys are the only ones who could understand what I'm trying to deal with right now. Will I ever feel ok again? Will I ever feel at peace with sending him to a new home?


I am confused. did you alreadsy rehome jack? If so I hope its a loving home who will give him a forever homr. AS FOR gABE i HOPE YOU PROVIDE A ThankyouFOREVER HOME FILLED WITH MUH LOVE AND PATIENCE. Please keep us posted. Thankyou.


----------



## svdreamer (Feb 20, 2010)

I know what you mean, I have a screamer, too. I have had neighbors run out thinking he was being stabbed. I have mostly taught Gonzo not to bark outside, but I am home 24/7. This must be so hard for you. I hope you find the best solution for you, either debarking or re-homing.


----------



## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

I think I would look into some anti anxiety medication, before I removed his voice box, how cruel to put a dog through that. Cruel and selfish. Just my opinion.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

Tanna said:


> I think I would look into some anti anxiety medication, before I removed his voice box, how cruel to put a dog through that. Cruel and selfish. Just my opinion.



They do not remove the voice box. And how is it cruel? The dogs don't even know. You're obviously not able to emotionally handle it, but trust me, the dog is happier after, than before, because no one's yelling at it to shut up! They still can bark, growl, whine and yelp. The volume is decreased and nothing more. I suggest you learn to educate yourself before making ignorant statements.


----------



## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

You know, I have a right to give my opinion without being subjected to your agressive, name calling post, and how dare you make reference to what I can and can't emotionally handle. I don't share your opinion that's it. So why don't you emotionally handle that.


----------



## glyndwr (Dec 4, 2010)

Many years ago my dad had two german shepherds both were guard dogs at his garden centre both were very aggressive and could only be handled by my dad. The neighbours complained about the barking and he had them debarked we were not happy about it but it was either that or have them put down as they couldn't be rehomed they both lived out there lives still doing there job and were none the worse for it. I could be corrected here but I think its banned over here now.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

Tanna said:


> You know, I have a right to give my opinion without being subjected to your agressive, name calling post, and how dare you make reference to what I can and can't emotionally handle. I don't share your opinion that's it. So why don't you emotionally handle that.



LOL...because your response was emotional and accusatory, and clearly indicated you have NO knowledge of the procedure whatsoever, so, that's what you'll get back! And last I checked, I didn't call anyone any names.


----------



## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

Well, were I come from calling someone ignorant is "Name Calling" your post was uncalled for plain and simple, you obviously have a problem with people who don't share your opinions. Your solution is so popular there is legislation to try and ban it in most states.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

I didn't call YOU ignorant, I called the statement you made ignorant, and, you know what? It was an ignorant, emotional statement on your part, in reaction to something you clearly haven't taken time to research or you would have known there was a difference. Bark SOFTENING is different than DEVOCALIZATION. Devocalization has been banned, bark softening is legal almost everywhere. I don't care if you share my opinion or not, what I do care is if someone throws out an ignorant, emotional response to something that could really help someone keep their dog rather than lose their dog.


----------



## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

I'll give you the last word that's obviously what you want, but I would suggest you stop calling people names, wether it's my statements or me as an individual, you are calling me ignorant and in my book lady that's name calling. I'm sure it's against the rules and by laws of this forum to conduct ones self as you are. You can laugh all you want. I don't share your opinions, and last I looked we are all entitled to our opinion.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

Isn't calling me "lady" like the pot calling the kettle black? Hmmmm...and again, you are not your statement and your statement does not embody you. Therefore, I never called you a name. You, however, DID call me a name...ha.


----------



## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

I'm sorry aren't you a lady? I know i'm a lady.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

LOL if I gave you all the history where "lady" was used in a derogatory fashion (and in the same, disrespectful manner you used it), you'd consider it name calling too.


----------



## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

you're stretching. You've been rude and you know it.


----------



## flippedstars (Dec 16, 2009)

Actually I've been quite polite, unlike yourself. Now you're TRYING to provoke me to be rude, but I'd like you to know I'm disinclined to acquiesce. Have a good day, and, when you need some reading, I strongly suggest reading up on the humane, helpful benefits of bark softening and the positive effects its had on the lives of countless dogs and owners!


----------



## caro (Apr 22, 2011)

I've been going through something similar after moving to an apartment recently! We tried *everything* to curb separation anxiety related crying/whining and finally resorted to a spray collar and it is actually working well. I know a lot of people are against them but it was a last resort for us and it sounds like it would be for you too. We got the 'unscented' version from Petsafe off of Amazon, so it's basically like using a spray bottle filled with water when you are home, which many people do. They also come in citronella and lemon scents if needed. It sprays right in front of the dog's nose, so it's not painful, just startling, and since we've had it, the neighbors say the crying has stopped! I would try this before rehoming him!


----------



## michele (Jan 12, 2009)

Sorry this is getting out of hand


----------

