# Very angry with me - confession time



## mrs1885 (Nov 22, 2006)

Well, I've held off on the update hoping things would settle down and we could re-schedule again, but.....

Belle had her spay re-scheduled for the afternoon of the 13th of December and didn't get to go. My husband was to take her as I work 2 hours from home. The day of her surgery my husband had a heart attack - it was mild, caused in part by a severe reaction to a new medication for his blood pressure which had gotten so high it caused a minor stroke, or TIA, which is basically stroke symptoms which are temporary. 

Long story short, with my husband's sudden landslide of medical problems and the hospital trips and MRI's, etc., we never got Belle back in. When I called him the day of her appointment and he said she was doing fine I made the mistake of leaving it at that. I never questioned him as I had people in and out of my office all morning, but he was ready to leave for the hospital then and didn't want to worry me, thinking it was no big deal and he'd be fine. 

Anyway, if my guesstimates are correct Belle's pups would be due on the 20th-ish of this month. Now that things have settled down and my husband is home and doing better and we can get her to the vet, I'm afraid it's kind of late. Between John (husband) and 6 kids underfoot as well as work and the other pets...... well, I failed her basically. I've been so upset with myself I haven't even wanted to talk about it. How stupid - as if it will go away if you ignore it. Don't get me wrong - I started supplementing her food with vitamins and switched her to a puppy food added to her regular food. I've by no means neglected her health, but I certainly didn't find the time to get her back in there either. She has an appointment tomorrow with the vet just to make sure all is on track and to have an xray if the vet thinks she needs it.

But.... have you ever just really been so disgusted with yourself that it infuriates you? I don't know what to do. I hate to even admit that she missed that spay appointment. I hate to admit that now - after all the years of lecturing other people on being so very careful with a female in heat and getting them spayed ASAP - now _I_ am the one adding to the overpopulation problem. I just feel like such a lousy stinking hypocrite.


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## Pauline Leland (Oct 9, 2006)

Considering what you and your family have been through, I forgive you! I hope you can forgive yourself soon. And, of course, I hope Belle and her pups are very healthy.


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## Alisha (Mar 11, 2005)

Oh Ronni







Please forgive yourself







Everything will be fine


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## dolly'sgrandma (Nov 8, 2005)

It's true, you had your plate full.

BUT, I thought I read that Belle had her spay and all went well? I know that your were worried about her being possibly pregnant before, and I assumed that was what that earlier post was about?

Either way, good luck! I hope she does well!


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

So what you are saying is from your first post on 11/22 when you posted that she was tied that she is due from that date. as that would be due about the 20th of this month. It is really too bad that you decided to let her have the pups imo... 
On the 13th and the 14th you talked about Butchie and his reverse sneezing and being worried about it and the vet being out of town until Monday. Than less than a week later you talk about how he did it again and how husband and you both jumped out of bed with worry. 
In having dealt with many tragedies in my life one of them being the loss of my 3yr old granddaughter and before her accident I watched her go through numerous surgeries that finally resulted in a kidney transplant. I was not posting about dogs or horses during any of that time... In fact as her family we hardly left her bedside. I feel really bad that your husband's mild heart attack and mri's were happening while you were ?? posting here? 
Things are just not adding up and it is not up to me to judge your decision but if you ask for opinions you will get them. I was one that suggested getting the dog aborted.
Sorry if this in not the response you expected but unplanned litters are no ones fault but irresponsible owners.


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## Alisha (Mar 11, 2005)

Hmm This is why I'm so suspicious of people  I must admit I don't remember alot of posts around here So I had no clue about the other posts  Just makes me ? Why the need to trick everyone


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## foxywench (Feb 7, 2005)

im not going to lecture...
i am going to say, make sure you or your emergency vet is available for at least 1 week before the due date, some vets make themselves availabel for their clients, others youd have to have the emergency clinic on speeddial.
watch her like a HAWK for days before her due date, and any doubts call them.

get your vets honest opinion on the pups, if your vet thinks the pups look large and theres likelyhood of difficulty, schedual a c-section, its just not worth the risk.
then while your there for the x-ray ask the vet how long untill shes ready to spay after birth. make the apt for the spay while there for the suggested date by your vet. (and make the apt for your male to be neutered too!)

place some adds online as of the day their born and line up some good families asap.

otherwise at this points whats done is done and all you can do is take good care of mommy and puppies and correct the mistake as soon as shes strong enough.

good luck and keep us updated, hopefully all will go well!


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

Well, I maybe should have not typed or gave it a private but I was so sincere in my wanting to help her make the right decision and when she said she was going through with the orginal spay I was very happy with her decision. 
I am so anti byb and puppymills when my own dog ended up pg (dumb ex husband thought she could be tied outside for just 15 mins while she was in heat) I called the vet and had her aborted. This being over 25yrs ago and I had her spayed at the same time. I think breeding needs to be left to responsbile breeders and those of us that don't want to take the time to test our dogs and throughly research the genetics need to just have them as our companions....
Please don't think we are stupid just because we are sitting on the other side of a monitor... We still can remember things that are said and know that if someone was suffering such medical problems in their family they would not be sitting at a computer questioning reverse sneezing...


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## *Chloe* (Feb 6, 2006)

dolly'sgrandma said:


> It's true, you had your plate full.
> 
> BUT, I thought I read that Belle had her spay and all went well? I know that your were worried about her being possibly pregnant before, and I assumed that was what that earlier post was about?
> 
> Either way, good luck! I hope she does well!


You did read her spay went well 



mrs1885 said:


> Bell had her spay and all went well. Butchie for some reason is a chewer of everything so he'll be supervised with her. He chews the bell on her collar too. Ugh. So Bell will be sleeping with mommy and daddy for a week or two while poor Butchie cries wanting her back. I can't believe how bonded they are ! !
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I'm so glad there was a safe option for her!


http://www.chihuahua-people.com/showpost.php?p=311519

im confused why u posted that she had been spayed on 13/12 and now saying she hadnt - sorry dont see the point


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## AEROMarley1983 (Sep 12, 2005)

Though not everyone is going to AGREE with what happened, this thread did say, "Confession Time." And besides that, I think she's really genuinely sorry about it. 

I hope Belle and her pups are healthy.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

AEROMarley1983 said:


> Though not everyone is going to AGREE with what happened, this thread did say, "Confession Time." And besides that, I think she's really genuinely sorry about it.
> 
> I hope Belle and her pups are healthy.


I hope everything goes well for Belle and her pups too but to blatantly lie to someone is uncalled for whether face to face or on a forum. Why did she even type that the dog was spayed and doing well? I would have had a lot more respect for someone who had stated that she decided against the spay, couldn't afford it or whatever reason she chose not to proceed with the spay.


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## *Chloe* (Feb 6, 2006)

dlambertz said:


> I would have had a lot more respect for someone who had stated that she decided against the spay, couldn't afford it or whatever reason she chose not to proceed with the spay.


Yep me too


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

I'm not here to judge on any of it. I've screwed up far worse than this in my life and have had gracious friends forgive. Life happens. Hope Mama and babies do well.


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## rachel (Jun 16, 2006)

I am a little confused as to why you would post saying the spay went well if there really wasn't a spay. But whatever the reasons are that you had, I hope mama & babies do well. 

I don't know if they can do it on chi's, but I know a friend of mine had her mastiff spayed after her c-section. I know mastiffs are MUCH bigger than chi's so I don't know if its safe to do that or not, but something to look into. Mastiffs have a hard time with giving birth, so she just automatically scheduled a c-section...another thing to maybe check in with your vet about.

Again, good luck with mama & babies & be sure to keep us posted.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

chis rule said:


> I'm not here to judge on any of it. I've screwed up far worse than this in my life and have had gracious friends forgive. Life happens. Hope Mama and babies do well.


well as what will be probably be my last post on this thread as I don't want to come off as not being able to let something go... 

in response to your statement I really feel that is why our world is seemingly going to pot all around us. No one is held accountable for their actions anymore. 

Personally I would rather have people disagree with my decision to not spay or abort than to have them catch me in lies.


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

dlambertz said:


> in response to your statement I really feel that is why our world is seemingly going to pot all around us. No one is held accountable for their actions anymore.


My accountability is to a far higher power than any individual on this board. It was my feeling that she was trying to be accountable by confessing. Of course I don't know about that for sure.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

well, I have to beg to differ on your accountablity. I am accountable for all my actions be it to myself, to my family, my pets or my country. I live within the laws so that by my own accountability I do not land in jail  

Do I honestly believe the op's husband had a mild heart attack and mri's and she was posting on the forum about reverse sneezing? No is this going to have a lasting effect on my life? No... But I will tell you from experience that when my granddaughter had her kidney removed at 5 days old and than a 1/3 of her other one just after her first birthday, the rest of that kidney just after her second birthday, the day of her transplant and the death of her and her mommy on the one year anniversary of the transplant, due to a car accident, I was not sitting on my computer discussing issues of my pets. I was at the hospital sitting with my family worrying and fretting... 

If the op had not orginally stated she had the dog spayed and she was doing well this discussion would never have existed. While I hope everything goes well with Belle and the pups, I wish the op had just been honest from the very start. 

I guess I need to stop now... as I can get some very strong feelings on honesty issues. Thanks for your response


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## *Chloe* (Feb 6, 2006)

i just hate that people lie  - whats the point, to make us all look stupid that we believed her when she said she'd had belle spayed  she should have just been honest from the start and said _"this and this happened and we never got belle spayed and i feel bad about it"_ or whatever not lie then confess some weeks later as if shed done nothing wrong


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

dlambertz said:


> well, I have to beg to differ on your accountablity. I am accountable for all my actions be it to myself, to my family, my pets or my country. I live within the laws so that by my own accountability I do not land in jail
> 
> Do I honestly believe the op's husband had a mild heart attack and mri's and she was posting on the forum about reverse sneezing? No is this going to have a lasting effect on my life? No... But I will tell you from experience that when my granddaughter had her kidney removed at 5 days old and than a 1/3 of her other one just after her first birthday, the rest of that kidney just after her second birthday, the day of her transplant and the death of her and her mommy on the one year anniversary of the transplant, due to a car accident, I was not sitting on my computer discussing issues of my pets. I was at the hospital sitting with my family worrying and fretting...
> 
> ...


Actually, I agree with what you say.  

Regarding my accountability... What I said was that I am accountable to a far higher power (God) than anyone on this forum. And of course it goes with out saying that we must be accountable for breaking the law etc. You are right. I'm not sure that we don't feel the same about this issue, my dad used to say "I hate a liar". Talk about harsh! LOL

The only thing I meant was that it did appear that by her posting her confession/admission (whatever), she did seem to be repentent/accountable, and that aspect was being overlooked. And of course, how we perceive situations, is affected by our life experiences. I for one have received abundant mercy and forgiveness for some awful things I've done at times. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Wishing all a good day.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

chis rule said:


> I for one have received abundant mercy and forgiveness for some awful things I've done at times. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Wishing all a good day.


I have to agree...if not for mercy and forgiveness  I am very grateful to God for leaving us my youngest granddaughter the day we lost so much. It is so easy for others to look at 11/14/03 and see all that was taken from us as a family... I see what was left to be thankful for. 

Ok so enough of my religious views and my views on honesty  I need to start getting to work around here. Have a great day!


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## Jen (Sep 13, 2005)

she did post bell/belle had been spayed and maybe kristi is right this is a confession i'm not sure. i think it's clear some of us are a bit confused as to what really happened so maybe we should wait till she returns and give her a chance to explain okay


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## mrs1885 (Nov 22, 2006)

To clear it up - I said I called my husband and asked how Belle was. He said she was fine. The conversation couldn't continue because I was at work at the time and someone came in my office so I had to go. I found out later that when I had called my husband he was on his way out the door to go to the hospital. He wasn't even thinking of her appointment at the time.

As far as why I was still posting, I continued to work. I have 6 kids in my house that have to eat. We are a 1 income family as my husband had to retire due to medical problems. He doesn't recieve disability and we aren't on welfare. We do the best we can on my paycheck alone. I can't afford to take time off. My oldest son was with my husband at the hospital and then at home to care for him. So, while I was at work I continued to be on line and post, not only here, but other forums I belong to. Online forums are about the only type of 'social' life I have.

I didn't post expecting everyone to jump on the poor me band wagon. I didn't 'decide' to let Belle have her pups and would have preferred she not have them. You are exactly right - this is all my fault. I don't blame anyone else and I take full responsibility. Things got way out of hand at home with my husband's health and at work when I had to fire one employee and another quit when faced with termination. So I've gone from a staff of 3 to 1, and I've had to pick up the slack as well as continue to do my own job. I'm working 6 days a week, 12 to 14 hours a day and driving 2 hours each way daily. I'm a bit worn out and have been, and because of that Belle has to pay the price. It isn't fair and I don't expect anyone's sympathy.

Now, I haven't finished reading this post - just got 2 pages in and had to post what was going on to clear things up. I'm sorry if anyone felt I was dishonest. I didn't post the following day as I had planned on getting her in for the spay still and just didnt' see the need to drag it out. I'd plan on a spay and that's what I felt was going to happen. But on my way to work last week I started realizing how long it had been and realized how far along she was. We went to the vet's office the next morning and decided terminating now is still possible, but I didn't want to risk her health. She has an appointment today at 2PM to make sure all is going well. If there is any doubt that she will have complications due to the pups size we will schedule a c-section / spay for her. If all goes well she will have her spay as soon as she is medically able. If there is an emergency, my vet gave us her cell phone number and said she keeps it on until midnight. If she goes into labor before then we are to call her immediately and she won't turn it off. If she goes into labor after that, she gave us the phone number of a 24 hour vet that's about an hour away - it's the closest one to us. 

Again, sorry if anyone felt betrayed or lied to.


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## Jen (Sep 13, 2005)

i'm just a little confused  you mean when you said "bell had her spay and all went well" your husband said that but he was actually taking her in that day?


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## foxywench (Feb 7, 2005)

if theres ANY thought from the xrays complications might happen scehdual the c-section.

you have aproiximatly 45 minutes after the onset of dificuty to save the puppy. an hour to the e-vet is a long way to go and could be the difference betwen life and death.
and most labours start after 2am.

Of course your vet will be able to advise you better after the x-ray as to number and sizes.

and yes you can hav the c-section and they will spay while she son the table.
Dont worry, they recover extremly quickly after the c-section. Its how vixies pups were delivered (she was spayed while under too due to the dificulties)and she was up and barking literally 10 miuntes off the table lol.
the only fear was she wouldnt even look at the pups afterwards. the vet thought we were going to have to hand feed, but as soon as we got home she whent into the box and was a great momma. so dont be suprised if shes too stressed in the hospital to want to feed the pups.


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

> I said I called my husband and asked how Belle was. He said she was fine.


It was at that point that you posted that her spay went fine, right? Prior to knowing she actually hadn't been spayed, and prior to knowing anything about your hubby's immediate health issues? 

Well I understand, I've done that same type thing before and by the time I realized what happened in reality, was to embarrassed to so anything to anyone for fear they thought I intentionally lied. Again, Hope all goes well for Belle and you. God Bless... you sure have a plate full!


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## mrs1885 (Nov 22, 2006)

[/QUOTE]It was at that point that you posted that her spay went fine, right?


> Yes. Sorry everyone was confused. Sorry this created such a mess.
> 
> If it helps - Belle was to be dropped off that morning by 9AM for her spay. I called at 10AM and asked John how she was doing, hoping she'd already been in for the surgery and he'd heard from the tech at the vet office. He said fine and then I had to go before asking anymore questions. I was kind of surprised that she was already out of surgery but never got to question it - just chalked it up to living in a small town where people seem to be more efficient and concerned than they were where we lived in Florida.
> 
> Foxy - that is exactly what I'm worried about - the time issue. I don't know what else to do. We live so far out in the country it takes 30 minutes to get to our town alone. An hour is me driving pretty fast. I'm tempted to call the vet every night for the week prior to her guesstimated date around 11:30PM and tell her I think she's in labor, until she does have them, just to make sure she's available. Just afraid after the third night she'll figure out my 'crying wolf' ploy and turn the phone off on the night she does have them.


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## dolly'sgrandma (Nov 8, 2005)

I started thinking that must have been what happened (miscommunication between you and your husband, then his health issues, etc), and then you cleared it up with your last post.

Seriously, I can't imagine what you must have gone through with six kids, a sick husband and a dog that you thought (when you rescued her!) was not in heat, then got pregnant. So, I'm certainly hoping 2007 turns out to be absolutely the BEST year for you--better than last year! .

One thing I do know about finding homes for puppies...don't give them away. Make sure people have to pay, even though you didn't want to breed, aren't a breeder, etc...you still need to charge.

Unfortunately, in our society, people don't value "free", but they do value anything they pay for. Obviously you can't charge as much as a legitimate breeder, but do charge enough to ensure that the puppies are going to homes in which they will be valued. I'm sure Foxy would agree that you should have all the same sorts of contract signed as a "real" breeder would (the new owners will spay/neuter, not breed, they will return the pup to you if there is a problem, etc).

I am like you, and can't bear to add to the pet overpopulation problem. Even more than that, I can't bear to think any animal I ever had in my home wasn't taken care of in a loving and kind manner. 

So, I hope the pups are FEW, adorable, healthy and life will go on for Belle and Butchy in a wonderful way after all this is over. Thank goodness they are out of the puppy mill and with you. I know you will do the right thing from now on.


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## rachel (Jun 16, 2006)

chis rule said:


> It was at that point that you posted that her spay went fine, right? Prior to knowing she actually hadn't been spayed, and prior to knowing anything about your hubby's immediate health issues?


Ahhh....well that makes sense I guess! 

Well let us know what the vet says today. Who is the daddy, btw? (Sorry, if you already posted about that, I have a horrible memory & can barely remember the last couple of posts I read! lol)


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## Alisha (Mar 11, 2005)

Ok so maybe you didn't expect us to feel bad for you but I did  Then I found out the reality & it really made me feel stupid  You didn't say in your post sorry I led you all to believe I had her spayed.You just gave reasons why she didn't get spayed  I'm am usually a suspicious person so when I feel tricked it doesn't feel good. The fact is now I don't know wether to believe anything you say  

All that said I hope your dog & the puppies do well & that your hubby is ok.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

mrs1885 said:


> I found out later that when I had called my husband he was on his way out the door to go to the hospital. He wasn't even thinking of her appointment at the time.
> 
> 
> > He told you the dog was doing fine but yet he didn't tell you he was having a heart attack and on his way to the hospital?
> ...


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## rachel (Jun 16, 2006)

Oops...Sorry, guess you cleared up the first part already! I must have been typing slow!

Anyways, does it hurt just to go ahead & line up an appt for a c-section & go that route so you don't even have to worry about any problems? Might at least be one less thing for you to worry over.


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## foxywench (Feb 7, 2005)

some vets WILL just let you apt for the c-section/spay, i honestly think this is something you shoudl realy push on your vet, especially with the e-vet being so far out.

your planning on spaying her anyway as soon as shes healthy enough so id explain to the vet your especially woried about complications and being so far away from the e-vet, and since you want her spayed anyway youd prefer it if you can schedual a c-section for the day of her due date.

some vets are more than happy, others suggest it only as a last resort, but the only time ive seen vets very ehh about a c-section delivery by choice is if your hoping to breed again (the more c-sections the harder the next c-section because of the scar tissue build up)

its also MUCH cheaper to have the c-section and spay done by your regular vet during office hours.
your e-vet will charge aproximatly DOUBLE for the same procedure.


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## mrs1885 (Nov 22, 2006)

I'm not asking anything of anyone - least of all pity, sympathy or even of your belief. I'm sorry for what your family has suffered through Darla. I've gone through many years of medical problems with my husband. I've been in many many emergency rooms and many recovery rooms waiting for my husband to come out of surgery. He's made many trips to the ER without telling me he's going. Had it been a serious heart attack I'm sure he would have told me, but at the time he wasn't even sure that's what it was so he didn't want to upset me and have me drive all the way home and miss work. 

As far as why I didn't post what was going on with him, I don't know anyone here. The only thing I share in common with people here - that I know of so far - is chihuahuas. It isn't a 'my husband is ill' forum. The other forum I belong to for horses I know a lot of people very well and they have followed me through all of my husband's medical problems. It's just not me to air my family problems on a public forum where I don't know anyone. 

If you choose to not believe anything, that's your decision. I won't beg for anyone's belief in me - my life is way to busy to waste on that. I came here looking for information for my chis health and well being, hoping to find people with vast knowledge that could help me help them. I found that. I belong to a rottweiler forum for the same reason. I find the people there very harsh and abrasive, so I visit long enough to search the threads to find the information I need for my rotties when I have a question. I belong to a horse forum because some day I would like to have horses and before I bring any into our family I want to know all about how to care for them. It just happens that that turned out to be a very friendly environment and I met a lot of people that I became fast friends with, and it's now more like a family environment to me. 

For the most part, I've found nearly everyone here very friendly and helpful. If I need advice on my chis, this is where I'd come. As far as venting or talking about my husband's illness or issues with kids or whatever, that I'd keep to the other forum. As nice as most have been here, I've not had anyone reach out to me like they did on the other. I'm new - I certainly don't expect that. I'm not offended by it. 

So - to anyone I've upset I apologize again. For those that don't believe my husband was ill, that's fine - it's your decision. You don't have to belive me, there's no law against it. 

To everyone else - thank you for the advice you've given and the concern you've shown for Belle. It truly is appreciated.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

mrs1885 said:


> Had it been a serious heart attack I'm sure he would have told me, but at the time he wasn't even sure that's what it was so he didn't want to upset me and have me drive all the way home and miss work. .


but you were home taking your dog to the vet, or was that a misunderstood statement too? 
I will let this go as it makes no difference to me how you conduct your life.
Hoping the best for your dog and pups


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## mrs1885 (Nov 22, 2006)

No, I was not home. I was at work. My husband was at home and he was taking her to the vet.


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## Jen (Sep 13, 2005)

i'm going to be honest ronni because other people in the past have joined and have turned out to be fakes there are some of us that are suspicious. the truth is some will believe you and some might not i just think it doesn't serve any purpose to go on with this. i hope i haven't hurt anyone's feelings i am just trying to be honest.

i am sorry about your husband and hope all works out well with bell


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

Jen said:


> i'm going to be honest ronni because other people in the past have joined and have turned out to be fakes there are some of us that are suspicious. the truth is some will believe you and some might not i just think it doesn't serve any purpose to go on with this. i hope i haven't hurt anyone's feelings i am just trying to be honest.
> 
> i am sorry about your husband and hope all works out well with bell


I couldn't agree more Jen! Thank you.


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## dlambertz (Nov 13, 2005)

> We did rescue work in Florida with Rottweilers and feral cats. We currently have 3 rotties, 2 rat terriers, 5 cats of our own and 2 cats that our 21 year old son owns, 3 birds, 3 indoor baby turtles and 5 outdoor turtles, and of course, the reason I'm here - 2 chis that I just adopted.
> 
> We are in the process of clearing property and buying horses, so things are pretty busy


OK ... so you can't afford to take off time from work when you husband is having a heart attack (not serious.. hmm I have never known one not to be) money is too tight with only one income. but we are buying horses... when my granddaughter was ill, i sold my horses so that I didn't have any unnecessary expenses. In other posts you talked about not having any experience with little dogs before but you state you have rat terriers in your intro post. You also state about doing rescues and I know when I was struggling financially I would never have undertaken the added expense or stress of doing rescue with a husband who has so many medical problems. 

I need to let this go as your life and how you conduct it is no concern of mine. Just that things are not adding up 
Have a good day
My final post on this thread


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## mrs1885 (Nov 22, 2006)

For crying out loud.

Some heart attacks aren't serious. My husband was one that had a _mild_ heart attack. I'm not sure why you've never heard of that, but it's pretty common. Not _every_ heart attack is fatal.

Yes, we are buying horses and clearing our land - when we can afford it. Thus 'we are in the process', not we are currently actively searching for horses. We won't be buying any until we can afford them.

As for adopting Belle and Butch I shouldn't have taken them on, but I felt sorry for them. I've always had a soft spot for animals. 

I have 2 rat terriers - they are 20 - 25 pounds each, which I consider medium sized dogs. I've never had anything that I consider small - 10 pounds or less. 

As for letting this go - great idea. I'm here for information on their health. I didn't ask you to be my best friend. Again, it's your life - believe what you wish.


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## Jen (Sep 13, 2005)

okay i think this one is done


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