# Have You Ever Been Here?



## Dorothy's Mom (Apr 8, 2015)

I have to ask....how long has your grief gripped you with regard to the passing of your pets?

My Bella, 15 yr old, diabetic, passed in February. I still, 3.5 months later, tear up when thinking of her. We had a very strong bond. I have always had a dog but she was that 'one dog'. You know? Just this morning I was talking to a client about dogs and talking about Bella makes me teary eyed.

I just can't seem to shake it. Heck, some days I even still openly cry when in the privacy of my home when I am sitting in the quiet and I think of her or see something in the house that brings back a memory. Or, the worst is when I see the other Miniature Pinscher on the street out for a walk. Seeing that dog brings on a gush of tears.

How long have you grieved? 

I have other dogs that I have grieved and been very sad about passing but none has had this effect on me for this long.


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## LittleBeverly2015 (Jan 26, 2015)

I recently lost my childhood cat, Kitty Kitten. I got her when I was 7 years old and she lived until just this year. She was nearly 18 years old. I still feel sad when I think about her and it has been several months. And sometimes I can't help but think what I will do someday when my little Beverly passes away. I can't remember what life was like without her. She is almost five years old and I hate every year she gets older only because I know she won't be with me forever. I think grieving for our pets is very normal. I think we need to grieve for as long as we need to. I'm sorry you had to say goodbye to Bella. For me, there always seems to come a time when the sadness turns to being able to take joy in the fact that while they were with me I gave them a wonderful life and I am able to think about all the happy memories. It just takes time, as much as you need, as much as anyone needs, because we all process things differently.


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## chiwaamummy<3 (May 23, 2015)

I have been grieving for nine years since my first chi passed away at age 18. I had her since a pup when I was starting baby school at five years old. I have had other chis but none will replace the childhood bond I have shared with my first chi. I don't think I will ever stop grieving for her and I continue to cry about her whenever I think too much about her being gone. I have searched for breeders who I think carry her genetics and tried to track down her pedigree that's how sad it is, it consoles me to know that a part of her is still living on physically through her pedigree.


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## Wicked Pixie (Oct 14, 2011)

Some dogs just leave a bigger hole in your heart.
When we lost Bambi (that is her as a puppy in my avatar pic) we were all absolutely devastated. She was my heart dog. It has been two and a half years now since she died, and it is only recently that I can think about her or look at photos without crying.
We have since added 4 more chis to our family, that is how many dogs it has taken to fill the void she left.


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## jan896 (Dec 9, 2009)

Wicked Pixie said:


> Some dogs just leave a bigger hole in your heart.


AMEN to that.... I lost Chico a couple years ago and I still cry.... but it is getting better.... but I don't think I will ever get over Chico....


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## Lisa T (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't think you ever get over losing a pet, I lost my first dog over eight years ago now and I still think about him everyday, sometimes I tear up sometimes I don't, I think that's normal.


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## CuddlesMom (Feb 22, 2014)

It's very normal to grieve over a pet for many months. I lost a cat almost four years ago (she ran away and never came back), and it still makes me cry sometimes when I think about her.


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## coco_little_bear (May 30, 2012)

I agree with the others, what you're feeling is normal. My first chihuahua Coco was my heart dog, we had such a strong bond. Even if we only had her for 1 year, she touched our lives in a way that no other pets had before and from day one. We were devastated when we lost her, I was broken and it took me several months to get over the grieving period. And although I can think about her without crying now, I still think about her every day and miss her. Like Stella said, I guess some dogs leave a bigger hole in our heart. 

We got Lilo not long after losing Coco and although we didn't bond with her as much at first, she really helped a lot. I'm not sure what I would have done without my little Lilo (we have a very close bond with her too now). And then we got Rocky (about 8 months later) and he helped make our little family feel complete again.


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## Dorothy's Mom (Apr 8, 2015)

This might sound weird to some of you (but it makes sense to me!) but I had this non-verbal thing with her. It's like we could talk to each other through mental telepathy. You see, Bella literally went deaf about a year before she died. And I quickly realized that we never had to "talk". I never talked to her again after she went deaf because she couldn't hear me. But she just KNEW what I was thinking and would respond without the verbal cues. It was like we were of one spirit/brain/soul. 

I miss that connection with someone. That being able to have that ONE being who just innately understood what I was feeling, what my intentions were, etc, without ever having to voice them.

It's hard to explain......


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## woodard2009 (Aug 4, 2010)

June 6th, 2006 I lost my first chi (Midgie's mother), but she wasn't my first dog. I still grieve to this day, but not as much as in the beginning because Midgie helps me to remember. There are days when I think about her and shed a tear. Grieving never stops just gets a little easier.


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## Hollysmom (Nov 26, 2011)

Yep, I've been there. As you may recall, I lost Holly back in January. And although I've had other pets before, she and I had a very special bond. I still choke up and get teary eyed whenever I think of her.


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## LittleBeverly2015 (Jan 26, 2015)

Dorothy's Mom said:


> This might sound weird to some of you (but it makes sense to me!) but I had this non-verbal thing with her. It's like we could talk to each other through mental telepathy. You see, Bella literally went deaf about a year before she died. And I quickly realized that we never had to "talk". I never talked to her again after she went deaf because she couldn't hear me. But she just KNEW what I was thinking and would respond without the verbal cues. It was like we were of one spirit/brain/soul.
> 
> I miss that connection with someone. That being able to have that ONE being who just innately understood what I was feeling, what my intentions were, etc, without ever having to voice them.
> 
> It's hard to explain......


Thank you for sharing this. It makes complete sense to me and is a beautiful story about our bonds with these special dogs.


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## Moonfall (Nov 16, 2012)

I lost my closest, dearest friend years ago. He was a starling named Shadow. I still cry, I miss him so much.

It is normal to grieve.


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## BasketMichele (Sep 9, 2014)

Thanks for starting this topic. I really understand how you are feeling.

It is nice to know that a lot of others have "special connection" fur babies too, not that we don't love all the others just as much, it's just every now and again one comes along and it just feels a little different. It's also nice to know others grieve in similar or the same way for their pets too. I know some of my family members thought I was losing it and they just didn't understand why or how I could be grieving so long for a dog.

My Shih Tzu, Snickers was my "special connection" dog. It took me 3 years to finally get a good handle on my grieving and the loss of him. I really felt like I lost a part of me, especially that 1st year. I continue to grieve and miss him and it's a little over 5 years now that he's gone. But, as time has gone on the everyday pain became less. Having Carolina and Indy come into my life has also been a great help and blessing for me. They really helped in filling that void I felt of something missing in my life. I love them both so much, but Carolina has been my "special connection" dog from the moment I saw her and for that I'm grateful, to be able to have that feeling again.


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## debrawade10 (Oct 10, 2013)

Grieve and grieve....our hearts expand and will love unconditionally our new pups. Nothing fills the void of those we have lost. 

"Grief doesn't get easier with time BUT it changes"


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## motherdear (Jan 15, 2014)

Oh my, The love of my life passed away Nov 18,2013 in my daughters arms at the age of 16yrs 10mo old. She was a poodle named Whitney. I miss her everyday & cry most times I think about her. I love my chi's to pieces & would not trade them for all the money in the world. They are not replacements for Whitney because she was truly one of a kind. She left a Grand Canyon size whole in my heart & think I may never stop grieving her. I'm crying now just typing about her. So you are perfectly normal.


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## susan davis (Mar 25, 2011)

Some people grieve differently than others. I have always gone out and got another dog right away. I have even (when I knew a dog was dying - heart problems) replaced that dog before she died. That's me. Yes, there have been many 'heart' dogs. I have one now. Emmie loves me so much, and I try to be worthy of that. I have one dog in heart failure, and Emmie has focal epilepsy, and the pheno has damaged her liver. I have a tiny 4 pounder, Bonnie, who is 3 now and is pretty healthy. She has a collapsed trachea. Do what you think is comfortable. For me it was getting another chi!


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## boubou (May 12, 2015)

yes. I have loved all my dogs and twice now have gotten another one shortly after. It doesn't take the love you shared but does help fill the void and learn to love again.
This time I find it a bit confusing tho. Coco is fawn, like Mitsy but she is half the size of what Mitsy was. I find her to have so many similarities to Mitsy, it's uncanny. It feels as if Mitsy is back!


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