# sitting here sobbing please help



## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

toby just bit my daughter for no reason other than she walked past him. He really took a chunk out of her arm. It has made me realize even on anit anxiety medicine he is a danger to my child. I am so upset becaues I can't have him hurting my daughter but he is to aggressive to take to a shelter which i couldn't probably do anyway. We have tried everything with him, even took him to a behaviorist. I am afraid for my daughters saftey i am going to have to put him to sleep. i just don't know what to do i am so sad but my daughter has to come first. please tell me what to do here


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

I really don't know what to say. You can't have a danger to your family but it's hard to rid yourself of a furry family member in return. I don't even know what I would do. I'd be just as upset and distraut as you. I'm so sorry. :hugs:


----------



## * Bailey & Kahlua's Mom * (Nov 10, 2008)

**HUGS** I am so sorry! Maybe someone on here that doesn't have kids can rehome him? I don't know what else to offer, just try and stay strong. Hopefully someone can help!!!


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

I would do it if that were the case. It's just me hubby and venus. I'd feel so bad though. I'll look online and see what I can't find that might help.


----------



## Brenda (Jul 28, 2008)

If it was my dog he would be gone today, to a friend somewhere safe for him and away from my child.
A dog attach is very dangerous to both the dog and the person bit.

I do have to say if a breed of dogs like the Chihuahua has a warning/reputation of not being good with a children. I would not have chi with my children. 

If you do any research at all the breed info says not recommended in a home with children. Many people have good luck with chi's and children. But if this was not a problem the breed would not have this reputation. 
This is just one example of what you find when you look up the chi breed.
"Chihuahuas are NOT suited to children, no matter how well-meaning the child. Children cannot help being clumsy, and that a child meant well is little solace to a Chihuahua who has been accidentally stepped on, sat on, rolled on, squeezed, or dropped onto the patio. Most Chihuahuas feel overwhelmed by the loud voices and quick movements that children can't help making -- and stress and fearfulness (even defensive biting) may be the result."

Toby may have has his reason, you were just not aware of what his reason was.

I am so sorry for you, Toby and your family.
I hope your daughter is ok.


----------



## BABY BABS (Feb 5, 2008)

I would try a different behaviorist. Dogs can be rehabilitated but there are many ways to do it and all dogs respond to certain training methods better than others.


----------



## mggy91au (Jan 2, 2009)

I feel so sorry for you. All I can do is relate this story.
My daughter in law had two Maltese dogs. Everything went fine for a couple of years until one became very snappy. He would just randomly "have a go" at people, including my daughter in law. She had no children and her dogs were her babies so they got the best of care. 
She was on edge all the time until one day he bit her mother rather badly. 
She made the decision he had to go so with floods of tears talked to the vet and he agreed.
Oliver was put to sleep. It was one of the hardest decisions she ever had to make, but sometimes hard decisions have to be made.
My thoughts are with you.


----------



## carrera (Oct 8, 2008)

carrera bit my nephew the other day when he was touching her food which she is very possesive with. we started the pinning thing, anytime she even growls,or even raises her lip we pin her to the floor till she calms down. then when she is calm i tell her "kisses" and she licks my hand, i also had her give my nephew kisses, it has been an on going struggle. We also use bitter apple, spraying it directly in her mouth. Incase you havnt tried these I thought I would share. This has been an on going struggle with us, her biting in general.


----------



## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

That is the bad thing, he can't go anywhere else he is to attached to me. He doesn't like strangers, other dogs so rehoming him would not be the answer. I know chi's are not good with kids, so I actually asked my breeder about this and she told me if they are raised with them they will be fine. I didn't know much about them at the time so I figured she knew what she was talking about. I still just don't know what to do. My daughter has a nice gash out of her arm, but she is ok. she doesn't bother him, she knows to stay away from him, all she was doing was walking by. Toby is my baby boy and my heart is just breaking.


----------



## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

I'm very sorry. Sometimes these things happen and don't blame yourself. However, I agree with you that your child must come first. You absolutely cannot have an unstable or aggressive dog in your home. Or at least I wouldn't. It is too much of a liability. What about when friends come over? A dog bite can be worth $15K to $20K in the court system. Who wants to pay that?! Not to mention the emotional cost.

If you can find him a home WITHOUT children, then I would go that route. That's almost impossible though, because even if people don't have kids of their own, they usually have grandkids or neighbors coming over, etc. And if he is dog aggressive, that makes it doubly hard.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this! I know it is terribly hard! I can sympathize with you as we had a pomeranian years and years ago that bit my baby daughter on the head. She was crawling and grabbed his fur and he wheeled around and nailed her on the forehead. Once I saw the blood dripping from her face, that was it for me. He was re-homed the next weekend to some people that didn't have children. It was a very hard decision and I cried and cried for days. However... my children came first and I couldn't have a dog like that in my home.

If I were you, I would CALL THE BREEDER and tell her what happened. She should take Toby back. Any reputable breeder takes their dogs back for their lifetime for ANY reason. She has that responsibility and she owes you that.

Brodysmom


----------



## Brenda (Jul 28, 2008)

My heat is breaking for you.
I can say that Tonka is my dog. 
He will not even go potty outside unless I am the one to take him. Where I go, he goes he is always on my heals or in my lap. He is my baby and I could not imagine having to give him up.

A month ago my mother was diagnosed with cancer and I was off to Mayo Clinic in Rochester. I left for a week and Tonka handled it much better than I did. He looked for me and he was a lonely but I was not there, so he reluctantly replaced me after a few days. 

Just in case re homing him is something you have to do.
He will probably handle it better than you.
I am sure any one here that has taken in a foster dog or a rescue can tell you it does not take them very long to join the family.
I hope you can find another way to deal with this situation.
Good luck.

I have young nieces and nephews. When children come to visit you always have the option of putting you dog in a kennel or another room. That option does not exist when they live in the same home. If you find yourself keeping Toby away from the family because of fear of him biting again then he would be better being re homed. 
Some time the best thing is the hardest to do.
Again I hope you can find another option.


----------



## mggy91au (Jan 2, 2009)

Just another point worth mentioning. I would be very reluctant to rehome a dog I knew could injure another person. I would never be able to trust the dog again and passing it on to someone else does not solve the problem. 
Overall you have a heartbreaking decision to make.


----------



## Quinn (Dec 11, 2008)

I really wouldn't just have him PTS without atleast TRYING other options. Try another trainer/behavorist, try rehoming him to a home without children and without high traffic, these homes do exist. Try to place him in a home with small dog/chihuahua savvy people. Contact a chihuahua rescue and see if they can help. Or if you got him from a breeder contact them.
Also just saying chihuahuas aren't good with kids is a serious generalization and is exactly what causes their bad reps. ANY dog can be good or bad around children it really depends on their upbringing as well as their genetics. If people breed snippy/unstable dogs yes those things do pass down. It isn't just chihuahuas and it isn't ALL chihuahuas.

That being said he clearly cannot be in your household because I'm sure it is extremely stressful for him, and dangerous for your child. I'm so so so sorry that this is happening to you and Toby. It must be so heart breaking, and is a hard decision, but I hope you will look at every option before choosing to put him down. 
I'll keep you guys in my thoughts.


----------



## catalat (Apr 21, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe you can find someone in the area or a chihuahua rescue group to take him in. I understand your child must come first..but please don't put him to sleep, maybe there is someone out there who has the time and patience to work with him.


----------



## Yoshismom (Jul 6, 2005)

If it were me. I would definately allow him to have a chance elsewhere. Find a local Chihuahua rescue that works with them in their homes that can possilby rehabilitate him. They can rehome with someone with out children but are experienced with Chis. It also may suprise you that different Chi's do different in different environments. It may just be that he needs a change someone else to rear him ;-)


----------



## barefoot (Sep 24, 2008)

I personally think it is often a kindness to put them to sleep. If that is the choice you make please don't feel guilty. 

One thing you can try is to not baby him attt allll. No on your lap, not on the couch. He is too big for his boots. Put him in his place. One thing that a trainer had me do with my dog and it worked with my border collie who was growling at my 2 year old a couple of years ago. I would hold my child and shoo or send the dog away from us. I showed him that my child was boss this way. I think Cesar Milan recommends this also. You child can also be the only one to feed him.
BUt for sure no laps and no furniture. You will see it make a differance. 

But he may be a red zone case like Cesar calls them. It may be nessesary to rehome or put him to sleep.

I will say that personally I have a phobia of giving my animals away and them not being taken care of, or passed around. THat is why my animals are forever homes for me. I still have nightmares about a horse I gave away 10 years ago.
If I had not been able to work with my psycotic border collie I would have put him to sleep.
Take care, Em


----------



## rhaubejoi (Dec 10, 2008)

I have no advice to offer since i have never been in this position. I want you to know I am thinking of you and praying for the best solution to come to you. hugs-robbie


----------



## BellaLina's Mom (Mar 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry you're going through this....Bella, Lina and I send hugs to you. 

If you are considering a chihuahua rescue for Toby, here are a couple that may be of help: 
www.chihuahua-rescue.com
www.chihuahuarescueusa.org


----------



## Dazy Mae (Aug 10, 2008)

By far the best advice that has been given is to find him another home where there are no children. Some (not all)Chihuahua's think they are fearless...but it is also a front they put forth when they are scared and nervous. They are protective with their territory and can also be protective with their favorite person. 
Its hard when you love them so much, but if he is given another chance in a home where there are no children, maybe he would do better. 
I always think it is better to have tryed than give up complete hope.
I hope your daughter is ok and all will work out....


----------



## Guest (Feb 14, 2009)

Any dog at my house that bit someone would be removed immediately. You just can't have a dog that bites. You can't re-home a biting dog in good conscience and you can't take it to a shelter and expect it to find another home, so the only option is to have it put to sleep. A friend of mine had a gorgeous Bichon boy that was very sweet most of the time, but he would bite with no provocation. After the third bite, she had him put to sleep. It would break my heart, but you just can't afford to have a dog that bites.


----------



## Chico's Mum (Sep 9, 2008)

toby'smom said:


> That is the bad thing, he can't go anywhere else he is to attached to me. He doesn't like strangers, other dogs so rehoming him would not be the answer. I know chi's are not good with kids, so I actually asked my breeder about this and she told me if they are raised with them they will be fine. I didn't know much about them at the time so I figured she knew what she was talking about. I still just don't know what to do. My daughter has a nice gash out of her arm, but she is ok. she doesn't bother him, she knows to stay away from him, all she was doing was walking by. Toby is my baby boy and my heart is just breaking.


your child have to come first. 

you say you don't want to re home him because his attached to you. If you did re home him first he wont go to his new familly but he will when he gets to know them better and feel safe. 
I don't like the idea of putting him to sleep. When he is healthy. Yes he did something bad and bit your child but he deserves another chance. Find a good family for him.


----------



## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

ok so I called the vet last night and talked to him about it. He said with toby's history the best thing would be to put him down. so I made an appointment (crying so hard I could barely talk) for today at 10:30. He called me back like 2 minutes later and said since it was a dog bite he would have to send his head somewhere to make sure it is not rabies. He has had his rabies shot, but they have to do this in dog bite cases. That was not an option nobody is cutting my dogs head off and sending it somewhere, so he said we could wait 2 weeks to make sure it is not rabies. So i feel like God has given me two weeks to work with toby and boy are we going to work with him. If there is no change in his behavior within two weeks we will have to have him put to sleep. Rehoming him is not an option because he is just way to aggressive. wish us luck we are going to work our butts off to save his life.


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

I'm so sorry. I'll have your family and toby in my thoughts. Hopefully he will take a quick turn for the better. Don't give up on him yet.


----------



## Lyanne (Oct 29, 2008)

I truly hope you can work through this - thinking about the next 2 weeks is unthinkable. Please make sure you are doing the right thing....I understand your reasons and admire your strength.


----------



## * Bailey & Kahlua's Mom * (Nov 10, 2008)

I wish you the best of luck!!!! Can you contact Cesar? Or someone like him? There has to be SOMETHING that can be done!!! I have you and Toby in my prayers!


----------



## SillySally (Jan 2, 2009)

If you call Cesar I bet he would help you or even come and get your Chi before he lets you put him down. There is no dog in my opinion that is worth putting down. Maybe Toby just needs to be in a home with just adults but it does sound like he needs a proffessional to handle him. Shame on your vet for giving up on Toby, he couldn't be more wrong than to sugest such an act!

http://community.sessionswithcesar.com/


----------



## guest185 (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm sorry - this must be heartbreaking. 

I do believe that just about every dog can be rehabilitated. Try the ceaser route or contact chi rescue. It will take time, effort and money but it is worth chancing. Or if not, give to someone who has the time and does not have kids. Dogs can reattatch to new owners eventally - otherwise rescue dogs would all be doomed.


----------



## lourhys (Jan 19, 2009)

I am new here but can see both point of view , but I really hope he gets some nicer behaviour in the next two weeks. Keep him away though from the children. My story is we had a really old xgerman shepxcollie he was 15. He nipped our 2 year old but I wasn't in the room at the time so couldn't vouch for what had happened. A few weeks later as she walked past him he bit her ...in the face, she still has the small scar. I was so upset taking him to be put down but there was no option for such a big old man


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

Thats so sad, and it can be so traumatizing for a little child. One of my younger brothers was bit by a little yorkie when he was 4 and he was afraid of dogs til he was almost 15.


----------



## *Tricia* (Dec 1, 2007)

I'm sorry you're going through this now. I looked back at your old posts and saw that it was 2006 when you saw a behaviorist about Toby and it really seemed to work. Have you continued to keep up with everything that he/she taught you? Perhaps you need to go back to square one with setting boundaries for Toby again. And can ask how old your daughter is? I'm just wondering if she's old enough to take part in re-training him to see her as a pack leader too


----------



## guest185 (Oct 27, 2008)

I don't know whether it was dog borstal or Ceaser, but they had a show where a poodle or something was going for a kid in the family and they made sure the kid became the pack leader - he did everything for the dog and it worked.


----------



## jeanie brown (Jan 5, 2009)

Yes i agree work with the child and the dog together making the child pack leader . Give toby another go good luck over these 2 weeks, xxx


----------



## CHI'S AND ME (May 7, 2006)

So 2 weeks ah. Wow you have had him and worked with him for how long? You know him best, I think you should start with obedience classes, your daughter if she is old enough should take him. This way it is done under supervision, with the knowledge of a group of people. He will learn in a place that is not his territory, and she will gain confidence that he will listen to her. You need to let her do this and not jump in, he needs to see that you are allowing this as pack leader. She will become top dog. She has to walk and feed him.Please try this, if it dosnt work try re-homing. Good Luck


----------



## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

my daughter is old enough to help in the training. we plan to have her involved in toby's rehabilitation. I am going to do this because the alternatives are so unpleasent to even think about. we did slack off on his training and that is one of the reasons I am so upset. I let him down and have not been the pack leader so I really believe this is my fault. I have two weeks to make it right and today has been good. he basically can't do anything without my husband or my say so. My daughter is at her aunts spending the night with her cousin so she has not been a part today but she will. He is not allowed on the furniture unless we invite him and so far so good. i must be consistent for this to work. thank you for all the support I was a total mess last night.


----------



## lilbabyvenus (Feb 8, 2009)

Sounds like he's off to a good start, keep your chin up!


----------



## Mandy (Jan 16, 2009)

good luck with things 
hope everything works out well for you and toby xxx


----------



## CHI'S AND ME (May 7, 2006)

You need to be firm with him it dos'nt mean you don't love him. He is only being boss because someone has to.
Please don't give up too soon. I would worry about your daughter if you have to put him down, I would'nt want her to think it was her foult because it was her that he bit. You know how kids think. Best of luck, please try obedience classes.


----------



## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

We have stressed to her many many times that no matter what happens this is not her fault. She is ok, she is a really smart girl. I also am wanting to stress as much as I love toby, i love her more.


----------



## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

I personally wouldnt have him PTS for ONE bite.
My beliefs are there can be signs given of or behaviour by us that the dog picks up but we aren aware of

I am not saying you or your child did something wrong, but just perhaps the dog mis-read a sign she was given off, or entered the dogs terratory or something.

But i do agree any dog that bit anyone in my house would go, much as it would break my heart.

I looked into dog pschycology a lot online when chico got bit by my soon to be ex husbands boxer, and discovred both dogs had being giving off signs of wanting to dominate the other that i hadnt even noticed.

personally i wold go down the route of rehoming to a house with no children and possibly no other pets


----------



## Guest (Feb 15, 2009)

I wish you all the luck in the world with your little man.........I've never had this problem with my chihuahuas they love kids all the best..............


----------



## rhaubejoi (Dec 10, 2008)

What about one of cesar millan's books? He has several out. See if you can get one and what the book recommends..


----------



## rocky scotland (Jun 15, 2008)

Aww this is so sad, I really hope it works out with Toby and your family. Good luck with everything xx


----------



## Muzby (Jan 28, 2009)

Please please please don't put him to sleep because you THINK he won't do well in another home!!!

If you have slacked off in his training and he's relapsed, that means he CAN BE HELPED and putting him to sleep is just GIVING UP!

If he can't be in your home because he won't receieve the training constantly that he needs, I completely understand that your human children MUST come first. That is not a point to waver on! BUT, please don't just kill a perfectly healthy pet because there is a problem keeping him in line!

I have dealt with more than my share of aggro dogs (dog trainer!), and they can almost ALWAYS be fixed by a firm hand and a soft word. PLEASE! If you need to give up on Tody for your family's sake, I will take him in!! 

I am far away, but I'm sure we could find a way to help him get here safe and sound through this board and all the members. 

Please, please, please.. don't make that decision without realizing he IS able to be helped, it happened before, and if you just have to put your kids first and are a busy mom with no time to deal with his issues, LET ME HELP YOU!


----------



## Rosiesmum (Oct 14, 2007)

Have you spoken to your vet surgery? They will be able to refer you to a reputable dog behaviorist who might be able to help.
Make sure they are reputable (so ask vet, rather than look in Yellow pages) as in the UK, you can set up as a dog trainer/behaviorist without any real qualifications and some of these people do more harm than good...as our neighbour discovered 

If you really can't keep him, have you contacted your local rescues for advice?


----------



## Brenda (Jul 28, 2008)

I agree that giving him to someone else may be your best solution.
Even if you spend time training and everything goes well. Do you trust him??
You simply may not be the right family for Toby.
I know you love him and do everything you can for him but I have heard Victoria Stilwell say many, many times on her show "are you the right family for your dog? You may not be".
Do not put him to sleep.


----------



## Georgia24 (Jan 18, 2009)

You can do it!!! Good luck and keep us posted!!!


----------



## mychiisqueen (Jan 3, 2008)

Don't give up on Toby all dogs have the potential to be amazing dogs with work.. I am sure someone on here will take him!!


----------



## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

I hate to jinx it but so far toby is doing well. I think we can do this. my husband and I were talking last night and we know we got lazy with his training. this is going to be a ongoing thing. if he starts to improve then we keep at it. I think toby will be happier knowing he does not have to be in charge. i feel very positive this is going to work. thank you all for you support. God gave me these two weeks and I am not going to waste them.


----------



## jeanie brown (Jan 5, 2009)

good luck i really hope all goes well . for you toby and your little girl


----------



## KayC (May 3, 2005)

If he is not better after the 2 weeks Please rehome him. There are alot of people out there that don't have kids on a fixed income ( and maybe homebound)that would love a little lap dog but can't afford one. He will make the perfect pet for someone. You just may have to put out the effort to find that perfect home. I know you can. Hang in there. *hugs* to you. What a tough decision to make.


----------



## BABY BABS (Feb 5, 2008)

I'm so glad you've had some success in retraining Toby. Keep it up. He may end up being the best dog you've ever owned.


----------

