# Please Read!



## Yoshismom (Jul 6, 2005)

I was replying to a newbie thread and thought I would put another thread and plea out there to you guys! I feel I need to do this every so often ;-)

You guys are awesome members and most have been here a long time and really know a lot about Chihuahuas, some have learned on their own and some have learned the hard way (I am one of the learn the hard way people) and some have learned from this board (I am also one of these people as well). 

*CHIHUAHUAS* - This is what our board is here for, the well being of ours and others Chihuahuas. We also have the board for chatting about Chi's, sharing stories, pictures, etc... 

But please remember... We all had to learn somewhere...

I can honestly say when I was younger I loved dogs did reports on dogs and dog breeds but still fell to the traps of these cute puppies in Pet Stores and byb's. It took me awhile to figure things out and mostly had to do it the hard way







Most people I know that are around me on a every day basis think I am crazy because I care so much about my dogs. They have outside dogs, dogs in pens, running loose, etc.. I am wasting my breath trying to educate them but I still try. I cant get mad at them for not understanding or feeling the same way I do as that does not help the situation









When our newbies join here they are joining for support, for education, etc... They need us! I am still seeing members throw snide remarks at new members about the breeding of their dogs or where they got them or how they treat them. I know it is frustrating when we know better but the only way to help them understand is to support them and keep them around, not run them off because you disagree with them or get aggravated with them. There are nice ways to educate and support people. And the way some of you come across I can definitely understand why they would get snippy or angry back and ofcourse that just fuels the fire and then they leave and learn nothing. Honestly if I came on this board and had to defend myself or my beliefs every time I came on especially if it was when I just joined, ofcourse I would turn tail and run! That will do these members Chi's no good at all and that is the most important thing here guys.

You can offer your advice and opinion but do it nicely. Speak to others as you would have them speak to you. We were not all born Chihuahua/dog saavy. 

We just need to offer love, support and education to our new members, this is whats best for their Chi's









This thread is not up for debate and I dont want to see members come in and say how they were mistreated or why they feel justified in what they say here. This is just a friendly reminder...PLEASE BE KIND


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## Dragonfly (Jun 6, 2010)

:thumbup: Agreed! Great reminder! :thumbup:


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## Ivy's mom (Feb 15, 2008)

Totally agree, I have Learned so much here, and If I had a so called "stupid question" answered in a way I have seen some answer them, I would have run away with my tail between my legs! And btw... I don't believe there are stupid questions, everyone needs advice and we should beable to give our opinion nicely not with hatred or judgment.

Lori


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## FeFiFoFum (Nov 12, 2010)

Thank you! Though, as a newbie here, I have never felt judged or unwelcome so far, even though I ended up with my Chi via an irresponsible owner's ad on an internet want-ad website. I like to think of my girl as a "rescue", since I talked the owner into giving her to me for free, when her original intention was to sell her for several hundred dollars to "who knows who".


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## Dragonfly (Jun 6, 2010)

I've seen questions answered very harsh and when I think really hard back I'm sure when I was a first time Chi owner I would have had those exact same questions, esp being 16. I was very mature at 16 and Shayley was my baby back then but she was also my first Chi and first PUPPY (My moms dog was already older when we adopted her from the pound!) So i was in nowhere land. I made my mistakes but I learnt! I think the questions people come in here with really mean good (even if it doesn't seem like it) because if they didn't care they wouldn't have took the time to sign up and ask. I try to see every ones view as I know we all want best for our babies.  That's the reason we love this place so much!


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## Yoshismom (Jul 6, 2005)

Dragonfly said:


> because if they didn't care they wouldn't have took the time to sign up and ask. I try to see every ones view as I know we all want best for our babies.  That's the reason we love this place so much!


Very good point Kerri, thank you so much for adding that ;-)


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## Chihuahuasloveme (Jan 8, 2010)

good points!


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## Khasilooluv (Oct 31, 2010)

Really good post! I just became active today but very well said!


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## Mom of 4 Chi's (Apr 3, 2009)

Yoshismom said:


> I was replying to a newbie thread and thought I would put another thread and plea out there to you guys! I feel I need to do this every so often ;-)
> 
> You guys are awesome members and most have been here a long time and really know a lot about Chihuahuas, some have learned on their own and some have learned the hard way (I am one of the learn the hard way people) and some have learned from this board (I am also one of these people as well).
> 
> ...


Beautifully put michelle! 
I have learned a LOT from our wonderful members. I am truly grateful to be apart of this Chi family.


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## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

I have learned a great deal from this site. I have had dogs my entire life, but never one as small as Paco,and he's not even that small. He weighs about 7 LBs, but he is dainty. I worried myself sick until I started learning about these little wonders. Thank you everyone for your advice and experience.


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## KayC (May 3, 2005)

Well said Michelle...


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## bayoumah (Nov 30, 2010)

im new here and have always enjoyed the time i spend on this chih site everyone has been very nice and answers my questions very politely thank you


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## glyndwr (Dec 4, 2010)

Beautifully said, x


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## jesuschick (Dec 5, 2010)

Thank you!

I think it is important to remember-not just for members who have been here years, but for those like me that are new that "always" and "never" does not work with children nor pets. 

I think we can oftentimes believe that there is A way when really it is about people's choices, preferences and what is best for their family. It can be easy to get caught up in thinking that a way that works for me is what everyone should be doing or they are wrong. If there was a book out there titled The ONLY way to raise a healthy chihuahua I would buy it! I do not think that exists.

I do A LOT of things differently than many here. It is not because I am ignorant or have not learned, it is a choice I made once I did research, got the facts, tried things on my own pets and learned. I really appreciate those who say what they have tried and what worked for them without presenting it as the only educated way to do it. 

I appreciate everyone's patience and help as I have posted and asked!


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

I agree with you Michelle. 

But I did want to add that when someone asks a question about breeding, etc. that I am not going to walk on eggshells and try not to "offend" the person. I will lay it out and tell it like I see it. Yes, they came here for answers. But they also have to understand that this is the internet and there are all kinds of people and all kinds of information out there to weed through. If I feel strongly about a subject (like breeding in a careless way just to make a buck) then I will speak up about it. I think that is fair.

There's a fine line to walk there on free speech. I think that, as adults, we should remember that we may not always agree with what others say - but I WILL defend the right of that person to say it and to have that opinion. 

I think we could do a great dis-service to a newbie by sugar coating our posts and only responding in a way that doesn't hurt feelings or cause the person to re-think their position. That is not kind in the long run! A healthy debate about a controversial subject is a GOOD thing and can cause people to really want to learn more and to sometimes change their minds about an issue. 

I agree there should never be personal attacks on other members though. But I see no problem at all in voicing our opinions on a subject. Even if it might offend someone. I would hope that we would all try to do it in a kind way, but sometimes it may not come off that way to a new person.

Does that make sense? I hope so. I'm not trying to be a pain.


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## LadyJ (Aug 20, 2010)

Well said! Kindness will get you through just about any situation and you always come away feeling good about yourself.


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## Aquarius (May 8, 2009)

Excellent post Michelle  and also Jesuschick, you are so right, we all make decisions based on what we believe and have found to work - there is not necessarily "one way" to do anything in life!

It is true that sometimes new members are seen as "easy pickings" there are a group of 5 or so people on here that feel they can say anything they like and take the moral high ground with new members - which they wouldn't dream of doing with existing established members.

An example is this thread http://www.chihuahua-people.com/raw-food/58506-help-3.html where a member said she felt sick at the talk of raw organs and was a vegetarian - she was jumped on - despite the fact that earlier that some of the same members who objected to her post also displayed distaste on the same subject! I couldn't believe that people were so rude to what was an innocent jokey post - and then were even egged on!

Then the subject went on to people who ate organs such as liver etc - and distaste was shown that people eat organs - just ask all our parents, they did no matter where in the world they came from! and there were no complaints about that because the posts were made by established members.

It is not too much to ask that all new members are treated with the same respect that is shown to established members. When a new member posts - just ask yourself - if that was X would I be that rude to her?


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## foggy (Oct 12, 2009)

Well said, Tracy. These are exactly my thoughts as well.




Brodysmom said:


> I agree with you Michelle.
> 
> But I did want to add that when someone asks a question about breeding, etc. that I am not going to walk on eggshells and try not to "offend" the person. I will lay it out and tell it like I see it. Yes, they came here for answers. But they also have to understand that this is the internet and there are all kinds of people and all kinds of information out there to weed through. If I feel strongly about a subject (like breeding in a careless way just to make a buck) then I will speak up about it. I think that is fair.
> 
> ...


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

Aquarius said:


> An example is this thread http://www.chihuahua-people.com/raw-food/58506-help-3.html where a member said she felt sick at the talk of raw organs and was a vegetarian - she was jumped on - despite the fact that earlier that some of the same members who objected to her post also displayed distaste on the same subject! I couldn't believe that people were so rude to what was an innocent jokey post - and then were even egged on!
> 
> Then the subject went on to people who ate organs such as liver etc - and distaste was shown that people eat organs - just ask all our parents, they did no matter where in the world they came from! and there were no complaints about that because the posts were made by established members.


Wow, I saw this post in a totally different way than you did Jane. I completely agree with Sarah.... if the raw feeders went to the kibble section and said the same exact thing..... "ew, this talk of kibble is repulsive and making me sick, I'm leaving now", there would definitely be people MAD and offended over that!!! It definitely works both ways!! Why in the world would you go on a raw chat thread and then say how disgusting it was and that you are a vegetarian? It was entirely different than raw feeders joking about cow hooves/feet. I did not take that post as a "joke" at all. And I don't think I misread the intent.

And the conversation following that one where Moni explained that she is asian and eats organs was in NO way derogatory about her choice!! As I said clearly, my parents ate organs all the time. I don't get the reference to that at all. There was certainly mutual respect there and I didn't see any feelings hurt at all!


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## Aquarius (May 8, 2009)

The word repulsive was never used, it is only used by you to describe kibble – here is an exact transcript of the words used on three posts following each other -

Brodysmum - EW EW EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - those recipes are yucko!!!

Daisydoo - Oh yeah I'm gonna make a bug old batch of that shite and paint the nails for garnish!!!! 

Thejewelkitten - This talk is making me sick...im a vegetarian.. D: Im going to leave this thread


I just do not see why the last post was offensive to raw feeders, she may also have been referring to the recipes – other posts are far more offensive.

I just used this thread as an example how some members can say what they like but a new member is pounced on – such a shame.


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## Yoshismom (Jul 6, 2005)

Brodysmom said:


> I agree with you Michelle.
> 
> But I did want to add that when someone asks a question about breeding, etc. that I am not going to walk on eggshells and try not to "offend" the person. I will lay it out and tell it like I see it. Yes, they came here for answers. But they also have to understand that this is the internet and there are all kinds of people and all kinds of information out there to weed through. If I feel strongly about a subject (like breeding in a careless way just to make a buck) then I will speak up about it. I think that is fair.
> 
> ...


In most instances It does come off that way to me and I am no where near new, LOL!
I understand what you are saying but the problem here is that you have to ease into things when they are new. Explain nicely why they are doing wrong. I have been here a long time and let me say that a lot of posts I see start off pretty nasty and holier than though, I absolutely expect you guys to let someone know the do's and dont's of breeding if you dont then I will. But it does not do anyone any good if they attack them right off, and everyone jumps on the band wagon. I know for a fact that with some people this would make them want to do it even more out of anger and just to show everyone that they will do what they want. It would be very easy to sugar coat it at first, it doesnt hurt anything to do it that way, to help educate?

I realize it is frustrating I am on your guys side when it comes to breeding. It is great that few have changed their tunes at times and have learned but that is not the majority that come here. You are also right that we are mostly adults here and for that matter alone we should know how to approach and talk to people in a nice, adult manner without immediately throwing stones ;-) Free speech is awesome and having an opinion is awesome but they also have a right to free speech and their OWN opinion whether it agrees with you or not. There is also a fine line with bullying and I see it here a lot. Just some things to think about. 

I know everyone is not going to agree with me, that is why I didnt want this to be a debated thread. I cant make everyone be nice I just feel that we need a reminder every now and again why we are here and how we should talk to people for a better result


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