# How to deal with a possessive chi?



## Terri (Aug 21, 2009)

I apologise in advance as this is going to be long LOL.....

My Daisy is becoming more possessive of me around my man.
Plus she barks at the slightest noise coming from the building i live in.
I dont encourage this behaviour or give her attention so as not to reward it, and have tried lots of different things really.

I must say that my man doesnt help the situation, he just tells me to deal with it, and says i will be evicted as i rent this place and my neighbours will end up complaining.

I have tried to get him to give both girls treats and even their dinner but he isnt consistent and sometimes says he cant be bothered so he just expects me to wave a magic wand and it will stop, which really bugs me! :foxes15:

I think Daisy can sense, he is jealous of her and doesnt give a good vibe really.
I dont raise my voice, i just say quiet in a firm deep voice and she does stop, but it is late at night that is the problem.
If he even wants to leave the room or move in any way she will bark, Darla is starting to copy her too.

He isnt here that much, so it is pretty much just me and the girls here, so that is hard, as they seem to forget him each time he comes back.
I have been having Daisy a bit less on my lap and making her do her own thing, but she is very attached to me so breaking that a bit will be hard.
She also whines when i leave the room so i do think she has seperation anxiety.
She will jump up and down, i can hear it from the hallway.

Trying to train a dog when you have no support is tough, and when the other person just gets mad and leaves the room.
I try to explain that by leaving he is making them think they have won and their barking made him go, but he just doesnt get it.
Am more frustrated with him than the dogs to be honest.

I know why Daisy is the way she is, she was older, didnt get a lot of attention and now wants me all to herself, plus she knows bad body language and when someone resents her.
That is how i see it anyway.
A form of fear agression really.
It's not that he is mean to them, just sees them as mine and mine only and only enjoys them when they are cuddly, and on his terms.
I also know he is jealous of all the attention i give them, but am afraid that is just tough!
I do hand them to him and try to involve him, but even getting him to join us for a walk is a chore it seems.

Anyway if anyone has any tips on how i deal with the barking at the slightest noise from my building even, that would be great.
As far as the man goes, i have told him if he doesnt do his part then quit moaning when they bark at him, end of story. lol 

Do any of you have a partner that is jealous of your dogs?
He has never been like that with the huskies, but then again i think he knows they are more his than mine, especially now.
I just think he cant handle that chi's have one owner that they love, so they were never going to be all over him, just tolerate him. LOL


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## rubia (Jul 3, 2008)

Terri they do choose a person.....one they love and listen to more than any other. It is the way that they are. In the building--Daisy barking and announcing to you the moves of everyone else comings and goings has to have your nerves shot. If it were me I would get a quiet command. i use a hand clap--because they are always available--my breed had trained her lot to silence at the sound of a tin with bits in it. You can use a tin of coins..but anyway I use a hand clap and then tell him firmly "Tranquilo" --quiet-calm down --chill (my son has Rico trained in spanish) I don't use his name I just clap and say Tranquilo and he usually come running to me and is quiet very quickly . If it was challenging for him (ie the postman is coming and he is just busting to announce this...I give a treat for a job well done). In the begining I'd offer up a treat for every time she quiets on command. I would not use her name--just the command. Maybe you can have a sound signal or a hand signal. The clapping hands thing works for Rico--for the most part.

My landlady lives in the other side of this house--so i definitly don't want a barking dog making me look like a bad owner with an ill trained dog. I can understand you not wanting the stress of bothering the neighbors.

Maybe you can give a special treat like a bone or something when the BF is around so they are happy and will be less into possessing you if they have some treat to protect .

Best of luck !!


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Hmm i can see your frustration. I don't have a partner.. the last two were jealous of my daughter (don't even go there) so they were got rid of. I think you need to speak to the bf and explain to him that you need his help as he is part of the problem with the dogs.. 

I also agree with Rubia and teach her a quiet command.. i'd also teach it to Darla too so that she doesn't start with the yapping!! 

Good luck let us know how it goes.. and give the bf a kick into shape with the doggies


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## Aquarius (May 8, 2009)

Biggles is very barky, jumping and licking when someone other new comes in to the house, training works brilliant for him, he sits, quiet does everything when no one is around, but his excitement level goes through the roof when someone visits and I can't seem to get through that.

Rubia mentioned special treats - I do that now, I keep the bully sticks only for when someone comes to the house. So try that, it works for Biggles because he adores his bully sticks and never gets them until we have visitors. He goes off to a corner and contentedly chews away for hours and not a peep from him


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## Terri (Aug 21, 2009)

Thanks guys.
It is getting worse now though am afraid.
They are both barking at the slightest noise now not just Daisy, and Jamie cant even move in the room without setting them off!
I have been using a spray bottle but it is doing nothing.
Tonight when J came home from his gig, they barked like mad.
I am sure someone chapped my door too, so i think i am going to get grief from my neighbours.
They would have a cheek mind you since i have had to deal with parties that went on till 3am and folk shouting in the hallway, then slamming the main door when they leave.
I have never said a word about that!

It's not like the dogs have barked constantly and at all hours of the morning either, just tonight at midnight they did a bit cause of J moving around.
I have said to J he will need to start to really help me with this, and feed them etc... and give off a better vibe.
The barking at outside noises though is something i dont know how can stop, and am now worrying i will be made leave, if i cant find a way to curb this behaviour!
No way would i lose my dogs though.
Cant rattle a tin at night either so that is out.
Am kinda at my wits end on this!!
Nightmare!!

I had to pick them up and actually follow him with them, when J wanted to go to the bathroom and then he decided to go to his bed, just to avoid anymore barking this late at night.

Feel like we will have to walk on eggshells here for a while and try to mute them as much as possible, which is just unrealistic.
This is the problem with living in a flat and renting, but then again we could still get complaints when we move to a bought house, which we are looking to do this year.

Dogs will bark, it's just a fact, but this is kinda getting out of hand and i dont know what else i can do.
I mainly live here by myself, and it is just me and the dogs, so any new person or noise sets them off now.


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

Gosh Terri, I wish I had some great advice for you but I really don't. Everyone else has suggested what I would do, the squirt bottle, the "hush" or quiet command, etc. Also having your partner do the feeding, giving them treats, etc. to get them to trust him and not bark.

I think they are also feeding off your anxiety and worry over this and it's making them nervous and jumpy and so they are barking even more. A vicious cycle.

I will be thinking of you!! Wish I had some great words of advice for ya that would solve your problems but you've got a hard situation to deal with!


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## Terri (Aug 21, 2009)

Thanks Tracy.
We are both working on it together now so hopefully that helps.
Am trying not to freak so they stay calm like you say, they prob feed off my nerves.
It's just hard when you know that other folk wont be happy at them barking.

xx


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