# My baby's gone



## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

My beloved chi died today, and ever since I got home, I've been compelled to post about him everywhere I possibly can. I think it's because I'm desperate for the world to know that he was here; he was loved; and he was a great dog. I don't want him to be forgotten. 

I haven't stopped crying since this morning when I took him to the vet. Thursday evening I noticed he wasn't eating, but attributed this to his allergies which can sometimes upset his stomach. Friday I noticed he was lethargic, but thought it was because he threw out his back again and made an appointment to see the vet. Poppet's always had health issues ever since I adopted him from our local shelter ten years ago. He was around eight to ten years old back then, and his old age had brought with it a delicate back, bouts with colitis, and the usual polyps and creaks and cracks. But I should have known. I should have known.

Saturday he was awful and increasingly lethargic. I called to ask about an emergency visit and took him in. Even the short ride saw him degenerate so quickly. By the time the vet came in, he could barely stand but was able to sit up. By the time the blood was drawn for a CBC, he was completely drained and was lying on his side. The vet did a quick test and said he showed signs of autoimmune hemolytic anemia and was already becoming jaundiced. He said the chances were slim, but that he could perform a blood transfusion. I didn't want Poppet to die alone in the kennels. He was always so scared of going to the vet, even though they were always gentle with him. He just hated cages...I think it was because he was abused as a pup and was in the shelter for several weeks. Before we could even make the decision to euthanize, his little body gave out. The vet said he wasn't in pain, but his little body started to tighten up...even after he said his heart had stopped. I told him he was the best dog, that I loved him, that I would see him again, and that I was sorry for every harsh word or look I'd ever given him. And he was gone. 

I never understood what people meant when they said the life goes out of their bodies...not even when my own family and friends have died. I know it now. It was Poppet's body, but he wasn't there. The little spark was gone, and he was limp as a rag doll. I held him and cried, and screamed, and cried. I'm crying now, and I haven't stopped since he passed away this morning. 

I feel like I've been hollowed out inside. Everytime I stand still, it's like something is eating away at more and more of me. I've never felt grief like this before. I pace and pace and plead, cry, talk to him like he's still there. My friends and family are all far away and even the ones I talk to on the phone comfort me but with an undercurrent of confusion that I think stems from the fact that they can't understand why my grief should be so deep for an animal. 

He was my child. He was my best friend. He was my soulmate.


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## LDMomma (Mar 28, 2009)

I'm so sorry. RIP Poppet.


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## Ciarra (May 6, 2008)

Im sorry for you loss, it so hard to lose it a pet. Its feels like you lost a piece of yourself.


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## rcj1095 (Mar 4, 2009)

You poor dear. Cry your eyes out for as long as you need to. Everybody here knows your pain and understands. They live on through you and will never be forgotten. RIP dear Poppet. The grief is so deep and so real.


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## Guest (Mar 29, 2009)

Talk as much as you need to and cry as many tears as you need to. Tears wash away some of the grief. We all understand here! Rest in peace, sweet little Poppet.


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## guest185 (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm crying for you and with you. You gave him a wonderful life and he will love you forever for that xxxxx


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## Rosiesmum (Oct 14, 2007)

So very sorry to hear about little Poppet, my heart goes out to you. Please talk all you need, there is usually someone here who will listen. Most of us have lost much loved dogs too.

Take care,
Barbara x


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## sullysmum (Mar 6, 2004)

Im so sorry, its awful when we lose our babies.Sending hugs for you!


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## lynx8456 (Feb 26, 2009)

I'm so very sorry for your loss. God bless 
Poppet!


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## giff (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, the hurt will get a bit easier but it'll never totally go away. Just remember the happy times and the good life the two of you had together. Sending hugs.


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## toby'smom (Jun 11, 2006)

oh I am so sorry for your loss. Our beloved chis become like our babies and the pain is so deep and real. some don't understand, we do so talk all you need to and we will listen. I am truly sorry for your loss.


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## Georgia24 (Jan 18, 2009)

i am so sorry for your loss. this is a great place for you to be, you are in good hands  RIP little Poppet 

Sending :::::::HUGS::::::::


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

I feel so numb. Cold and numb...like someone has wrapped a giant bandage over my chest to keep my heart from floating out. I finally stopped crying at around midnight. My eyes feel like they're full of sand and my face feel tight. I'm still cold and shivering even though the room isn't, and I just miss him so much that I felt my heart broke hours ago and now I will never be whole again.

I don't grieve. Even my friends will tell you that I don't grieve. I've lost relatives, friends, coworkers, known students who have passed...and each time it was a moment of sadness that my heart dealt with and healed from quickly. Not like this. I loved him so much. A friend told me that when she informed her husband why I was so upset, he was confused for a moment. He didn't understand why I would be so upset over a person passing. You see, he had misheard the name. I don't say this to be callus. It's not an opinion I hold or foist on others. It's just how my heart works. When she explained that she said "Poppet," he immediately understood. You see, it's almost a joke how much I loved my little man. Again, let me express that I'm not saying animals are better than humans: just that I've never experienced grief before. And it's not because I didn't want to...my mind simply accepted they were gone, expressed regret, and carried forth with the knowledge that they were in a better place. 

But this, this is soul-wrenching. I don't know how to cope. Everything I look at reminds me of him. I feel like I have so few to turn to. To most, I just lost a commodity...like a favorite chair or computer. I could hear the surprise and confusion in their voices. I don't blame them. It's how our society works. And the ones that do understand. That have been on the phone for me for hours at a time: I don't know what to say to them anymore. Every memory brings fresh pain, but he's all I want to talk about. When the pain gets to be so much, I don't want to say anything. I just want to be on the phone...knowing that someone is there with me. People use to be surprised when I told them how I don't go out or can spend entire vacations alone at home. I don't think even I understood it. I told people (and myself) that I just liked being alone. It was a lie. The truth was that I never felt lonely because I had Poppet. Now I feel so alone. I want to go somewhere I won't be lonely but I know that even if I were to surround myself by a dozen friends...it wouldn't stop the lonliness. God, you're probably reading this and thinking that I'm crazy.

I cried and cried. Oh my God how I cried. It's as if my entire body devoted all of its resources to nothing but tears. I feel them coming now, but I'm just so tired and so hurt that I don't feel like I can muster the energy to shed them. Everywhere I look, I see him. Not like a hallucination but a memory so clear that I almost feel like I could reach out and touch him. I see his every movement, all his mannerisms, the placement of every single hair. Even though I'm staring at an empty space, my body reacts as if he's here and for a split second I'm happy. Then it crashes over me again. The loss. The fact that I'll never hold him again. Never be greeted by his happy little face and wagging tail. 

I'm also haunted by the idea that I won't see him in Heaven. I'm terrified by the idea that animals don't have souls. I keep wanting to find something in the Bible to bring me solace, but all it does is worry me even more. I couldn't bear not seeing him again or the thought that he drew his last breath and saw nothing. I can't stand it! I hurt so much, and I don't know how to cope. I don't know what to feel. 

Did I do enough? If I took him in earlier, would he be alright? Could we have had a few more years or even months? He was very, very old: at least 18, though the exact age can only be guessed at since he was adopted from a local shelter. I could have happily had ten more years with him. The ten that I had weren't enough. I look at my other dog, Boo, and I feel so bad. Not because of his own sorrow but because I resent him. I hate myself for it, but I look at him and think "why wasn't it you?" I love Boo. I do. But I've never had that soul connection I have with Poppet...I keep forgetting to use past tense. If he passed, I would have heartache, but not like this. This is torture. 

It all seems so unimportant now. How many hours did I waste doing unimportant things instead of spending time with the one I love? Wasted minutes, hours...no, days. Perhaps even months. I've thrown away most of his things except his little bear and collar. My heart told me that those had to stay. Then I started to throw away other things: the vacuum sealer I hadn't used in months, the steamer that I found too bulky to clean, the book I didn't enjoy...an entire garbage bag started to fill with stuff. I feel like none of it matters. What the hell was I so concerned about? Why have I surrounded myself with things don't mean anything or have any worth? I feel like dragging a dump truck and tossing it all. 

I went to church today for the first time in over fifteen years. It's a strange thing...I've never been overly devout (attending church, etc...), though I have a strong belief in God. Most of my friends are though and some are wondering if Poppet came into my life to lead me back to religion. I can't say. I can say that my pain seemed to be amplified while I was sitting in the pew, and with comfort came anger and shame. I've been desperately trying to believe that he will be waiting for me over the Rainbow Bridge. My mind has found evidence of God's love in the Bible and proof of an afterlife for our dear ones, but every now and then my fears take over and I doubt. I spend terrified minutes and even hours contemplating all of Poppet's quirks, love, mannerisms, endearments...gone forever and it sends cold chills down my back and arms. 

My friends are trying to help me heal. They call me everyday. One took me out to eat when she found that I haven't eaten since Friday night. I had half a sandwich and my stomach is in knots...I don't know if I'll be able to hold it down. Boo also senses something isn't right. He's voided his bowels on the kitchen floor and has stuck close to me, but it's not him that I want.

I feel like I need to talk about it. It's almost a compulsion, and I'm sure you'll be seeing more of my "rants" online. It feels better when I let it out...I feel like I HAVE to do this. I don't understand it...can't justify it...but I thank each and everyone of you who have responded with such kindness and understanding. Thank you so much.


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

I keep going over everything in my mind. I knew. I did...I knew that the end was closing in, and I didn't face it. My denial to deal with my impending grief cost my angel and I precious time together. 

Last DecemberI had thought to get some bloodwork done. The attendant at the vet's office made a mistake and thought I wanted his vaccinations, which were also due. I didn't have enough money at the time for both procedures so postponed the bloodwork since the vet had already administered. If I had gotten it done, maybe my boy would be alive. If I hadn't just forgotten this year, maybe he'd still be alive.

His allergy meds had low doses of prednisone in it. I've since learned that prednisone is what is used to treat his fatal condition. I was actually only days away from asking the vet from a prednisone packet because his allergies had gotten so much worse. If I had gone earlier, maybe he'd still be alive.

My job was late paying my salary (I get paid once a month). I was on such a strict budget because I was trying to pay my credit card off. If I had just set aside some money or budgeted better, maybe I would have gone in earlier and he'd still be alive.

I didn't let him sleep with me. I thought his back was hurt again, so I crated him all night on Friday. When I picked him up Saturday, he was still alert. In the car, he sat sphinx-like like he always does. I took him inside and he was getting so lethargic. I thought maybe he was tired from being up all night from the back pain. I held him close to me and we waited over thirty min. for the doctor to come. He laid his head on my chest and I kissed his head and told him that everything would be alright. That the vet would give him his cortisone shot and we could go home, but I couldn't put him down. I tried once just to check his leg strength and he started panicing so much that his breathing quickened. I should have known, I should have screamed for the vet to come in earlier. Maybe he'd still be alive.

But a part of me thinks that he waited for me. I laid him down next to me ever so carefully the night before. Though I thought his back was causing him immense pain, I just couldn't resist spending a little bit of time with him. He gave a sigh and settled in his usual spot, by my leg. When I think about how still he became, when I think about that constant backwards glance he gave me when I put him in his crate that night, my heart breaks. I was so puzzled as to how he could slide so quickly just in the thirty minutes at the vet's office, but I think he waited for me. And that breaks my heart all over again. He waited for me to hold him before he started to let go. I really do think that if I would have let him sleep with me, he would have died that night. And my heart is breaking. I'm crying again. I feel like I should have known. My own selfish desires to keep him with me might have kept him from dying a more peaceful death by my side. 

I don't think I can do this alone. My friends have been supportive, but I can't stand this pain anymore. I'm going to the doctor and seek some medical relief. Right now I'm on our school's Spring Break holiday. Hopefully any counseling/antidepressants will help control my grief enough for me to function at work. I can't function like this and I don't want my students to see me break down in the classroom. I haven't slept more than two hours each night. I can't eat. My body is shaking with nervous energy as if I've drunk fifty cups of coffee and I can't stop shaking. Though the tears come with far less frequency, I have a persistent and perpetual ache in my chest, like someone has punched me as hard as they can in my heart and I'm gasping for air. I miss him so much. I just miss him so much.


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## Rubyfox (Jul 11, 2005)

I am so sorry {{HUGS}} RIP Poppet xxxx


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

Ruby, your little black/tan/white chi reminds me so much of my baby. They differ in color, but the cute little face, blunt little muzzle, and the look of adoration in his dark eyes just tug at my heartstrings. He's beautiful, as are all your little ones.

I went to the vet before they even opened. Spent some time crying on the shoulder of another waiting patron. I didn't mean to, but I just started bawling when I pulled in, and she was concerned. Shannon, the vet tech, helped me make the arrangements, and she was wonderful and so comforting. Her own dog is struggling with old age and a heart condition, but she says she thinks he hangs on so tightly to life because he knows she'd be devastated without him. Sitting and talking with her, the kind woman from outside, you all on this forum, it's all been so wonderful. Shannon tentatively mentioned if I'd thought about getting another furbaby. I admit that the thought had crossed my mind. Friends, relatives, all have seen how much I've been struggling with this and I know they have made this suggestion out of kind regard, but I'd be looking for Poppet in all the puppy faces. I wouldn't look at any new baby without focusing on either the day I'd eventually lose him or trying to see if Poppet's personality and quirks were in him...and resenting if they weren't. Still, it's so tempting. The house is so lonely without him, especially with no family or friends nearby. We were each other's family.


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## Harley Ridin Chopper (Nov 8, 2007)

My deepest condolences for your loss. We all completely understand the empty feeling, being heartbroken at their passing. We are here as a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Take comfort in knowing his body is young and strong again at the Bridge, he will wait for you patiently there.


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## BellaLina's Mom (Mar 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. We understand that your heart is broken into a million pieces and you're grieving deeply over the loss of your beloved chi. We're here for you during this difficult time. Rest in peace, sweet Poppet.. 

*The Last Battle*
If it should be that I grow frail and weak, 
And pain should keep me from my sleep, 
Then will you do what must be done, 
For this, the last battle, can't be won. 

You will be sad I understand, 
But don't let grief then stay your hand, 
For on this day, more than the rest, 
Your love and friendship must stand the test. 

We have had so many happy years, 
You wouldn't want me to suffer so. 
When the time comes, please, let me go. 

Take me where to my needs they'll tend, 
Only, stay with me till the end 
And hold me firm and speak to me, 
Until my eyes no longer see. 

I know in time you will agree, 
It is a kindness you do to me. 
Although my tail its last has waved, 
From pain and suffering I have been saved. 

Don't grieve that it must be you, 
Who has to decide this thing to do; 
We've been so close,we two, these years, 
Don't let your heart hold back any tears. 

Author Unknown


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## Rosiesmum (Oct 14, 2007)

The following excerpt and the sentiments from the poem "O Dog Of Mine" has brought me great comfort on losing dog friends. My personal belief is that we will be together again, on some loving energetic level. 


No, when that love that lights up thine eyes goes out,
It will come back to life somehow, somewhere in heaven.
That man or beast, who loves with such a tender sympathy,
Can never die or be extinct forever.
God shatters for a moment only to make whole.
For his embrace is wide enough to hold us all
And we will love each other as we loved in life.... 

If you are really struggling, do speak to your doctor who might be able to refer you to someone who can talk things through face to face. In the UK we also have a bereavement line run by the Blue Cross for pet owners. Not sure about elsewhere.

If you feel you need another little Chihuaha to love and care for then open your heart and they will come to you. I believe my late Honey helped me find my beautiful little Rosie, I know some people will find that wacky...not that I give a jot...but it's true.

Much love,
Barbara x


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

I went for a few days down to Florida to visit some friends of mine. The house was just too depressing and lonely to stay in. I'm back now, and I'm looking with dull eyes at a train wreck of a home: dishes in the sink, laundry piled up, carpet looking worse for wear....I need to clean, but I can't seem to find the motivation. I'll do it tomorrow. I just spent over five hours driving from Florida to the Plantation Pet Funeral Home to pick up my baby, and I'm feeling down. I don't, however, regret the cremation. As soon as I touched his urn, I felt such a connection and comfort. Though burial is still an option for the future, I would have hated the idea of burying him here and moving away.

Everywhere I go, I see white chihuahuas. To understand how unnerving this is, please note that before Poppet died, he was the ONLY white chihuahua I'd ever seen. I've lived in this small town of 2,000 for two years...never saw a white chihuahua. Poppet dies and suddenly they're everywhere! It's got me a little befuddled and a bit bemused.

On Tuesday, a friend dragged me to a chi breeder's house. Not to buy a dog, but just to hang out with the puppies and adults. She thought it would cheer me up, and I admit that it did. I had over fifteen beautiful chihuahuas running around, licking my face, wanting to be petted, and staring at me with adoring eyes. What is it about a chihuahua's stare that makes you feel like you're the best, strongest, most beautiful human being on the planet? Her chihuahuas were tiny...more of what the AKC standard calls for...and I was so gentle petting them because I was afraid they would "break." Though they were gorgeous, none had my Poppet's beautiful eyes. His were so dark as to look black, and the "blacks" of his eyes were so large that you couldn't see any of the white. He literally looked like a baby seal when he would stare at you with those beautiful eyes. 

The breeder was very nice. We spoke for three hours, and she shared with me her stories of loss. Not once did she pressure me into looking at a pup from a buyer's standpoint, and she said that I was welcome back anytime. When I got home, a friend asked me if I was going to get a puppy from her, but I just can't right now. Maybe later, but right now the pain is still too raw, and I just don't have the mindframe/energy to deal with a puppy. 

I'm sorry if the grammar is a bit off. I'm just so very tired right now. I have gotten maybe ten hours of sleep over the last three days and I'm exhausted.


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

I want to thank everyone for the kind words, shared memories, poetric tributes, and all the understanding. I don't think I could have muddled my way through this time if it wasn't for the wonderful people on this board (and my friends...I love ya too). 

I'm a very quiet and reserved person, so when this happened, I sort of just lost it. I've feel like I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off but not accomplishing much. I'm a bit better now though. I can remember the good moments; I have his remains, my memories, and photos to remember him by; and though I'm sure I'll be a wreck periodically in the upcoming weeks and maybe months, I wanted to take time during a time when things are going well and my emotions are under control to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done for me.


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## sissyschihuahuas (Apr 6, 2009)

I am so sorry about your little Chihuahua. Reading this brought back memories of my own Chihuahua that passed away in December 2005. He was my baby. If he would have lived just 2 weeks longer, he would have turned 13 years old. I got him when he was 5 weeks old and he was such a part of my life. I cried like a baby when we had to have him put to sleep. He was suffering from bad health and the vet told me there wasnt much that could be done for him....so we made the decision to have him put to sleep. I miss him to this day!! I have his picture on my desk as I am typing this. I miss him so much. It does get easier with each day, but the hurt is still there. He wasnt just a dog to me,,,, he was my lit'l Rascal... my baby!!

I will whisper a prayer for you that this will be easy to cope with.

Blessings,
Lisa


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## KayC (May 3, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss. I do understand and agree with everything you are saying. It has been a rough year for me since I lost my beloved Roxy. This si the first place I came when we lost her very tragically, because I knew other chi people would understand my pain and help me through it. The pain has never gone away it has just faded abit. I am constantly reminded of her as well, but I want it that way to keep her spirt alive. Zoey will never replace Roxy but she helps to fill that void that Roxy left in my heart. I could not stand coming home to a house with out a chi in it. I do beleive that Roxy and I will be together again someday and I know she is waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge. I have always beleived in that bridge, I have to. I have to know that she is up there having fun with other fur angels and waiting for me. RIP sweet Poppet.


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

Thank you both for your kind words. I admit that I'm still struggling, but it's gotten better. Usually when I keep my mind engaged, it helps, but at work today and yesterday I was like a zombie. I did what I needed to but could have very happily stayed in bed all day long and not moved from under the covers. 

The only time I seem to be happy is when I'm on this board. It feel so good to talk about Poppet and recognize his mannerisms in the stories of other dogs. I guess it's like bragging on your kids, even though they may not be here with us. Also preoccupying my mind is this drive to bring another chihuahua into the house. I've been almost frantic with it, and for the longest time i didn't know why, but I think I have an idea now. Somehow a part of me thinks that if I bring another dog in, it will diminish the hurt. That I can have someone that wants to sleep on my side, give me kisses, and stare at me while I eat. A small part of me tells myself that this new pup might not do any of those things, but the larger (and more desperate) part of my subconscious just beats that little guy into a pulp and carries on with their quest for a dog/puppy. 

However, it's late at night when I think of Poppet the most. We loved our cuddle time, and it feels so odd to go to bed without him giving me a nightly "bath" on my leg, toes, or arm. Even with his horrible breath, I would tolerate his attentions because he loved doing it so much, and it became a sort of ritual: get into bed, Poppet finds a comfortable spot, licks my arm for five minutes while huddled against me, he gives a contented little sigh, settles in, and we both fall asleep. I haven't slept well since he passed. Boo sleeps with me everynight, but it's just not the same. I miss Poppet. Everyday I come home, kiss the photo on his urn, and tell him how much I miss him. Every hallway, every inch of carpet has a memory attatched. I see him now, by my feet, wagging his tail and doing a little growl to let me know that he wants me off the computer and petting him. 

I know I won't get him back, but I selfishly do hope to find another chi with some of his attributes: that selfless love, the bold spirit, the nurturing heart... I just miss him so much.


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## jazzman (Apr 8, 2009)

I sure do understand what you are going through.
Losing my Poco 18 months ago was the worst thing I ever experienced.

A few things that helped me:
1) I've talked to Poco EVERYDAY on my drive to work, since the day he left.
I tell him what I'm up to, how much I miss him, how often I think of him,
and how we'll be together again someday.

2) Realize the miracle of you Poppets life, and how fortunate you are to have shared it with him. Honor the memory of his incredible specialness.
He would be happier knowing that you are remembering the thousands of smiles he put on your face, rather than seeing you in torment.

I'll never fully get over losing Poco, not in 10,000 years.
But I realize the grief I feel is nothing compared to having never met him
and sharing his incredible life.

I wish I could say more that would be helpful, but obviously,
there are lots of us who understand everything you are feeling now.


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

I can't believe it's almost been two months since Poppet died. Sometimes I still open the door and expect to see his happy face and wagging tail. God, I miss him. I cried today as I was petting Pearl. She reminds me of him in small ways. Her piggish ways being the strongest resemblence. I swear, Poppet could eat himself to death if you'd let him, and I think Pearl would give it a strong go at the very least. She drank too fast today and let out a long hack preceded by some coughing. I know this sounds stupid and silly, but that sound reminded me so much of Poppet. He had allergies and would periodically hack like that. It's so stupid sounding to say "oh, the dog coughing up its lung made me nostalgic," but I can't help it...it did...and I bawled like a baby. 

Heck, I'm crying now just thinking of how it reminded me of him. Isn't that silly? I just miss him so much. I love having the pups with me, but while there is an emotional connection with them, my heart still grieves for Poppet. I still miss him and want him with me. I played with the pups...I cried. I dropped them off...I cried. I write about how I cried...I cry some more. Good grief. I'm so pathetic at this moment. But I don't care. I miss him. I miss him so much. I can still smell him and feel him and my arms feel empty, even with my new pups in them.


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## FBRaRrN (May 1, 2006)

We under stand how you feel it is fine to talk to him and cry.You need to grieve.It is fine to cry.Even tough you have new pups.It ain't silly and stupid it is just fine.


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## pam6400 (Oct 5, 2008)

You are not pathetic, you are grieving with a big hole in your heart. God bless you.


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## jazzman (Apr 8, 2009)

It's been 1 year and 6 months since I lost Poco, and there isn't a day
I don't fight back tears. I don't always win the fight.

Giant souls leave giant holes in our lives, and that is as it should be.


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## Adrienne (Apr 3, 2009)

I am so sorry


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

jazzman said:


> It's been 1 year and 6 months since I lost Poco, and there isn't a day
> I don't fight back tears. I don't always win the fight.
> 
> Giant souls leave giant holes in our lives, and that is as it should be.


You're right. Grief is so odd. Sometimes I get sad because I still miss him, but if I didn't miss him I'd be sad too. And then I honor and cherish the idea that he was so special, but at the same time I worry that I won't feel as strongly for another chi...a thought which makes me lonely.

I've got Tilly and Pearl, but I can't help looking for Poppet in them. I wish Tilly were chunkier, both girls had thicker coats, their eyes were black instead of brown, etc... Then again, I love Tilly's cute little features and Pearl's shining coat and wouldn't change them for the world. 

I swear, it's like my heart is caught in a tornado and it's spinning around in all directions. So confusing.


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## Jerry'sMom (May 5, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## kartmom (Apr 27, 2009)

I was so saddend to read your post. I know how you feel. I lost my dog two years ago and I still think of her all the time. I was in the same boat as you. Well meaning friends and family sometimes cannot understand that this grief can be every bit as real and painful as losing a human. 
Time will heal, it really will. It sure doesn't feel that way though, right?
Take care..:daisy:


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## avbjessup (Apr 20, 2009)

I still tear up over my beloved Jackie and she died 10/4/2000. I miss her and always will. It is a sad and beautiful thing, our love for these amazing creatures.


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## Rosiesmum (Oct 14, 2007)

My heart goes out to you...

When I lost my beautiful Honey, I found Star of Bethlehem from the Bach Flower Remedies range really did help me cope and accept my loss. Doesn't mean I don't miss her like **** still.

Take care,
Barbara x


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## lindsey1976ratspink (Apr 7, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear about Poppet - I send you lots of hugs and kisses x


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## guest185 (Oct 27, 2008)

How are you feeling today Tina? Thinking of you x


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## jazzman (Apr 8, 2009)

avbjessup said:


> I still tear up over my beloved Jackie and she died 10/4/2000. I miss her and always will. It is a sad and beautiful thing, our love for these amazing creatures.


That is the perfect description - sad and beautiful.

After Poco passed, I was searching for quotes and thoughts on the subject of 
passing on the internet - hoping to put some thoughts together at his shrine.

One of the things that struck me most was a comment that (paraphrased)
said ' We don't grieve simply for a loss, we grieve for the realization of how
special the life was, and sometimes how we might not have fully appreciated it everyday as much as we should of '.

The other thing that moved me was the idea that it is a dishonor to those passed to simply dwell on your sadness - to ignore the true happiness and
joy they brought you and to wallow in 'why did you go' limbo.

I tell my dogs everyday how much they mean to me, I show them everyday,
and I still wonder If I'm doing enough. I don't know if that's human nature, or a tribute to just how special they are. 

Unichiene - Everyday gets a little easier. Unfortunatly, ' a little ' doesn't even put a dent in grief.


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## roxie+rico (May 29, 2009)

r.i.p poppet


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## ILOVECHIHUAHUAS (Oct 4, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss...you were a good mommy and he knows it. He is now your little angel.


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## claireeee (Aug 24, 2009)

Hun I am so so sorry to hear about Poppet.
Talk and cry as much as you need - everyone here will listen.

You did everything you could to help him - he will never forget that.
Lots of love and RIP Poppet x


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

How very sad. His little body just got weary, and now it's healed and restored. I am so sorry for your pain. (((((hugs)))))


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## michele (Jan 12, 2009)

I think this is an old thread ?


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

How strange, it was showing up under today's posts. grrrrr.


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## michele (Jan 12, 2009)

It does happen,i replied to one once as well think it was months old,never mind,just thought it would bring back the old memories for her


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## Rubyfox (Jul 11, 2005)

Oh No I am so so sorry to hear that awful sad news.

RIP little one XXXXXX


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## jeanie brown (Jan 5, 2009)

Made me cry these storys always do i cant bear to think asbout the inevitable


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## Lin (Jun 7, 2006)

Exactly Michele. I'm glad you said something. I wish these would pop up like that.


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## rcj1095 (Mar 4, 2009)

Yea, this happened in March and it was so sad for her. Well before she got Tilly and Pearl. I remember it well as I had just lost Bambi!!!


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## 17428 (Jul 10, 2009)

Yes this is coming someday for all of us.
I hope I go before Dahlia.My husband has
promised to keep her if I do.

This is an old thread..........Mar 2009.


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