# How would this effect you



## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Today while OH was slobbing out on the sofa (as he does, just think of the dad in the series "The Royal Family"... seriously.) Red went over to him and curled up on his legs. In 2 seconds flat OH picked up Red saying "you need to go to mum"

I turned round to OH and said "You don't even like Red" his reply "Do I have to"

I just said "No" and cuddled Red.

He was like this for 2 weeks with Jake but loves him now (Not as much as I love him) but I have had Red 2 months now and he jsut won't acknowledge him.

I admit it upset me to see OH just pick Red up like he was vermin and passed him to me. He never even give him a little stroke or anything before moving him.

It has made me think even less of him than I did before (he done something which I can never forgive him for or trust again).

So "How would this incident effect you"

Deme x


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

I think if there are already problems in the relationship I'd be majorly pisse off and boot him off the sofa and put red in his place  

Maybe he doesn't realise a nice dog web he sees one?? At the end of the day you have 2 lovely boys in your life... Ignore the other haha

But I'd be pissed off and he'd be sleeping on the couch


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## TripleAChihuahuas (Apr 8, 2010)

My husband is not a real dog person after all these years he does that too to the "new" ones. he said dogs are mine and such, I think he just doesn't want to show how much he loves these lil guys. We found out he has dog dander allergies mild but still and I said now what he said "now what?" he could never see (my) dogs go anywhere and said well 6 will be our limit because of his allergies LOL. we went to the store and he got them new shampoo and ect so they say it or not in the mood but give him time and brush it off as just him being him.


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Daisydoo said:


> I think if there are already problems in the relationship I'd be majorly pisse off and boot him off the sofa and put red in his place


Yes big problems in the relationship, he acts the perfect partner in front of people but he is a proffessional compulsive liar, swore on his own mothers life who is in really bad health over a serious issue and I found him out.



> But I'd be pissed off and he'd be sleeping on the couch


I had to laugh at that last comment, when he goes in a childish mood (which is often) he storms off and sleeps on a mattrass on the floor in the study. So he has been sleeping next door on the floor for a few months now and "I LOVE IT". No joking here...

I actually dread the day he decides to sleep in the bed again as being obese he snores like a wart hog. If he isn't snoring he is whistling or rolls over squashing me. He has even woke himself up a few times snoring.

I have trouble sleeping anyway with my lung condition and the pains I encounter at the mo but at least when I wake up its to silence and not the wart hog .


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## TLI (Sep 3, 2008)

I'm sorry you had to deal with that Deme. Things like that can really break your heart. Personally, if someone doesn't like my pups, then they don't like me. That's just how I feel. Because I think if someone truly cares about you they find your passions an importance. I would be worried about what he might do behind my back to my pups just out of spite.


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## michele (Jan 12, 2009)

Oh i would be so upset as well,i know who you mean( love the royal family) i'm one of these people who can ignore somebody for weeks /months/years if they upset me,i'm afraid i wouldn't talk to him for months if that was my hubby,I WOULD MAKE HIM SUFFER.revenge is sweet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Omg Dawn I nearlly fell of my sofa haha I ha an image of you sleepig next to pumba from the lion king hhshahahahahaha sorry 

Relationships are hard but when they are bad its hard to imagine that it was ever good! I hope things work out the way you want! Honestly if he speaks BS and swears in his sick mothers life then really he's not a good bloke.. You have your boys

If I ever meet someone which is unlikely they have to like small dogs they have no choice in that coz if they don't I won't be involved


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

I trust him in the fact that he would never do anything to hurt Jake or Red, hurt me mentally yes... but I do trust him not to hurt my dogs or horses for that matter in any shape or form.

He leaves all the care of my animals to me unless on a rare occasion I ask for help. 

He likes Jake as he says Jake is a proper dog where as to him Red isn't. He doesn't like the dome shaped head. Also Jake has so much charisma that people can't but love him.

OH is actually quite protective of Jake.

If the relationship was better it probably would not bother me so much but if Ihad to choose between him and the dogs then it would be..

Single White Female with two adorable dogs looking for .... yadda yadda yadda lol


Deme x


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## jessicao32 (Jul 21, 2010)

I told my Hubby that the dogs are part of me and if you dont like it then walk our the door. Its been 4 years now and he loves all of them just like me...So i would kick him to the floor and have Red as the King....


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## Reese and Miley (Jun 24, 2010)

I know how you feel, it always hurts my feelings when one of our guys doesnt get acknowledged or treated kindly by someone else. When I had roommates and had just Reese it would break my heart to see him run up to greet a guest or roommate with a wagging tail and be totally ignored. One of our roommates was kind of a jerk and claimed to not like Reese, but I would often catch him snuggled up with Reese playing video games on the couch. 
One of the things that makes me really love and appreciate my fiance is how kindly he treats my animals. I got Reese shortly after our relationship started and he BEGGED me not to get a chihuahua, his grandma had a chi mix when he was little who was really unfriendly, snappy, yappy etc, and ever since he disliked them. He said they werent cute, had terrible temperaments, on and on. I got Reese, who is a fantastic dog by the way, and he fell head over heals for him. He positively adores Reese, and Reese adores him as well. He didnt want me to get Miley, but reluctantly agreed, and to his credit has never treated her like she wasnt welcome. He always gives her her share of special attention too, and she is Daddys girl for sure. 
It sounds to me like he just isnt bothered about your feelings, and not respecting your pets is just an extension of him not respecting you. Ill bet Red will learn to just sort of ignore him though, your feelings were probably much more hurt on his behalf than his feelings were, so try not to worry.
Im sorry youre having such an unhappy time, it sounds like some changes need to happen for you!


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## MakNLFi (Jun 8, 2010)

Oh hunny I feel for you! My Ex-husband sounds an awful lot like you husband. My Ex was a lazy no good, lying, manipulative so and so. He has not worked for over 10 years and has NO plans of EVER working again. He is such a great liar and manipulator that he has even managed to get on permanent state disability. This is what he lives off of along with mooching off his parents (he lives with them at 41 years old in their two bedroom condo) When we were married he would just sit on his lazy butt all day long and watch TV or be online. He is a dog person so there were no issues there, other than he only wanted the fun part of dog ownership but the feeding, caring for, picking up after, etc... that was my job. However he HATED my parrots with a passion and one day when I came home from work I discovered that he "accidently" left my Cockatiels cage door opened while the cage was out on the patio and my beloved bird had flown away. I put the cage out there before I left for work because he constantly complained about the birds chirping and singing so I was trying to accomodate him to keep him happy. The only reason why he didn't do the same to my Indian Ringneck and my African Grey was because a) they cost a heck of a lot more money and b) I always kept their wings clipped. I usually kept my Cockatiels wings clipped as well, but he had recently went through a molt and his flights had grown back in and I just had not had a chance to take him down to get it done. When I finally got up the courage to file for divorce he was all accomodating and said he wanted to make the divorce easy for both of us so it wouldn't affect our daughter. I filed for an uncontested divorce, he signed the papers, we remained friends for our daughters sake and I toted his sorry lazy butt to all kinds of places and then the DAY BEFORE our divorce was to be final he went behind my back and sued me saying that I forced him to sign the divorce papers and he was under mental duress. He even provided to the court a "doctors report" that stated that he is mentally ill (which to some degree I do believe, but not to the extent that the report goes into). The report even states that he had no contact with friends (even though he CONSTANTLY hung out with his best friend and his wife) and that he has a serious social anxiety disorder and he can not cope being around other people, especially strangers. Well the divorce got overturned and I was forced to pay him $115,000 to buy him out of "his" portion of my house (I was the one that put the down payment on the house and I was the only one that ever made a mortgage payment, but thanks to California laws and us being married over 10 years they considered it his house too. *sigh*). The judgment was in July of 2009 and guess what he must have magically been cured of his social anxiety disorder because in December 2009 he flew all the way across the United States by HIMSELF to meet a girl for the first time that he met online and he lived with her and her parents for a month! That's some social anxiety disorder he has!!!! He kept telling our daughter that he was in love and she was going to have a new step-mother. Come to find out he met this girl on a disabled singles meet-up group. She is 14 years younger than him and she is seriously disabled. Well after he returned back to California he was all talk about his new fiancee, etc..... but then he aburtly stopped talking about her so my guess is her parents caught on to what a low life he really is and cut off all ties (at least I hope that's the case for this poor girls sake anyway!), not that he would ever admit it, but whatever. 

Anyway..... Sorry to ramble, but when I hear of a man doing a woman wrong, it just makes my blood boil!


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Cor that sounds terrible, 

I wrote a long thread going on and on about his faults then thought though I have no respect for him amd couldn't give a toss what I said about him, on CP it wasn't the place to do this.

Basically I am in the worst relationship I have ever had and I have been in some volitile ones. Why don't I leave.

1) My house in Newcastle is leased out so I don't have anywhere to go
2) I would def move back to Newcastle as my family is there
3) I would have to sell Spike my horse which would be hard but I'd have to do it, I'd never sell Kyle
4) Some days are ok and I foolishly wonder if things will get better.. until he starts with his moods and moaning again

5) and also though not that important finances.

With his faults and he has loads I do still have feelings for him but starting to wonder if its more friendship than anything else.

Deme x


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## Kristin (Nov 12, 2004)

Dave is like that with Boss and Lina. Lina is a daddys girl, Boss is a mama's boy. That's just how it work around here. I wouldn't think too much of it. As long as he's not mean to him then it's not a big deal to me.


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Oh Dawn I'm really upset for you  when does the lease end on your house is there a get out clause?? You have enough problems with your health and run if bad luck you don't need him making matters worse it makes me sad.

And fyi tell oh to stick it with regards to reds head shape he's a chihuahua who looks like a proper chihuahua and can shove his wart hogginess back on the sofa


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## cprcheetah (May 4, 2009)

I am so sorry you are dealing with that, I wouldn't stand for it, if he doesn't treat my animals with respect he's not treating me with respect. I am very blessed to have a hubby who loves my animals, and is googoo ga ga over them all the time. He actually made Zoeys first sweater/fleecy coat. He helped me come up with a 'better' snuggle bag to make for Zoey, one that has all the attributes I felt were missing in other snuggle bags. He doesn't like my golden retriever much but he still treats her with respect. As for the snoring have him get checked for sleep apnea, my hubby was a horrid snorer and about a year ago he was checked for apnea and had is severely he had breathing interuptions (stops) over 100 times an hour which is seriously dangerous. He sleeps with a cpap machine now and does wonderful, and has better sleep as well, as he's not waking up all the time from not being able to breath.


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## DoggyStyle (Sep 7, 2010)

If I did that my wife would put me to the street.
No negotiation!


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

DoggyStyle said:


> If I did that my wife would put me to the street.
> No negotiation!


Clearly your wife is a girl after my own heart!!!

Kick him to the curb!!!


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## DoggyStyle (Sep 7, 2010)

She trained me well


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Nah OH doesn't have sleep apnea, he sleeps fine until I wake him up to tell him he is snoring. He has only woke himself up occasionally as his snoring got so loud.
Most of the time he will immediately turn over but other times he moans. He complains in a gruff voice saying "Just when I fall asleep you wake me up saying I am snoring" My reply "Well at least you get to fall alseep, I don't".

Honestly I love him sleeping next door.

Red is a sweet little chap and is the complete opposite to Jake. Jake is extrovert and confident where as Red is introverted and lacks confidence.

OH is not an animal lover, before I got Jake if a dog came near him he would immediatley use his hand or foot to push it away. To be honest if I had of known this when I first met him I would never have started a relationship with him as I believe the way a person treats an animal reflects on how they treat people.

I have two horses and he wants me to sell the youngster as he thinks he is too hyper and dnagerous. (he did land me in hospital putting me on crutches for a few months but it wasan't his fault) anyway he has no idea about animals, how they thin etc and I ignore him when he suggests selling him.
Both my horses are very well mannered, have full respect for me and I can do anything with them.

What gets me is his brother and sister love animals, why did I hitch up with the idiot.

I also found out in his last job which he got sacked from, he told people my horse was his and I also found out no one liked him. (no one spoke to him much when he was in the office and my mate knew someone who worked with him and told a few truths about him, its a small world and he doesn't know what I know) In his new job he has now he thinks he is popular but to be honest I can't see it as he thinks people liked him in his last job.

He also has no friends, if he goes out its to see his mum or his sons. 

At least I have some good friends here who support me. I am under a lot of stress with him, I am miserable with him and when he is away or upstairs I never miss him. 

I guess I live a life as a single person house sharing lol... 

My house is contracted and there isn't a clause to cancel a tenancy. Plus the extra money I get in rent pays the mortgage etc. I don't wanna sell my young horse and I also enjoy being the co-ordinator for a natural horse group that I created a few years back.

There are pro's and cons to staying, the cons based on him and the pro's based on my animals and friends.

A lead a complicated lifestyle don't I

Deme x


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Wow you are one strong lady just try keep yourself happy 

Daisy and lotus sound the same as Jake and red!! Daisy loves everyone, lotus loves to hideshe was on vibrate last night at ring craft lol


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

Deme, just saw this. I'm sorry you have to go through this with all your recent pain issues and your health problems! I feel so bad for you. Sometimes people put on a front and then only later do their true colors come out. Do what's right for you. I understand the finance thing, I think you have verbalized what a LOT of women deal with.

I had to laugh at yours and Sarah's comments about the warthog. ha ha! Sometimes we just gotta laugh. 

Have you tried a good pair of earplugs?  

Anyway, we will always be here for you as a sounding board and a place for support.


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## LadyJ (Aug 20, 2010)

"Love me, love my dog" is the way it is with me and if a man doesn't like my dogs, he isn't welcome in my life. I've been single for more than 30 years and am a bit prickly when it comes to how a man treats me. I've been lied to and cheated on too many times and spent too much time trying to make a relationship work all by myself. Never again!! Give me a sweet little dog any day. Dogs have all the good human qualities we love and none of the bad ones. Can't beat a deal like that!

Jeanette


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Animals give unconditional love, most men are arrogant selfish wart hogs, 

I have tried ear plugs which didn't work, he tried a ring that was meant to help but he only tried it once and he refuses to wear nasal strips. 

The doctor has told him he is obese, he thinks he is slightly overweight, yeah right with a gut as big as his. He is 18 stone and gaining....

Basically he is a fat slob and seriously needs to loose weight but even though he says to me, don't put so much on my plate at meal times when I go to bed he stuffs his face.

Hence the wart hog..

Sorry to all wart hogs I don't mean to offend you. lol

I get through my days with the help of my animals. the dogs give me a reason to get up, there excited tail wagging expression lifts my heart. I take the lads to the stables for a good run around while I see to my horses.

When OH is in the house (I don't call it a home, it has never felt like home in 10 years) he s 99% of the time upstairs which suits me perfectly.

I do get lonely and have even contemplated on meeting someone else. To be honest though I am not looking but if someone did come along I wouldn't bat an eyelid at leaving OH.

If I still lived in Newcastle in my own place I would have left the Wart Hog about 6 years ago.

Thanks for the posts, they have made me laugh so much, what a great bunch you all are.

Deme x


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## michele (Jan 12, 2009)

Oh you made me laugh (Wart hog) Don't forget to delete all this as you go "You never know if he may look "


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## Fizzy Chihuahuas (Mar 8, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this I'm glad you have your boys and horses to keep you happy  I know how precious they are to you xxxx



Deme said:


> He likes Jake as he says Jake is a proper dog where as to him Red isn't.


That's the bit that upsets me the most , I know this is a chi forum and we all love chi's and there are many breeds of dog I wouldn't pick to own , but to me what ever shape or size a dog is _' a dog is a dog '_ and I love them all & sure everyone here feels the same .


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Deme said:


> Animals give unconditional love, most men are arrogant selfish wart hogs,
> 
> I have tried ear plugs which didn't work, he tried a ring that was meant to help but he only tried it once and he refuses to wear nasal strips.
> 
> ...



It's making me sad  I hope things work out ok for you and you are happy and hey there really aren't many nice men out there I haven't found any just tossers


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## Terri (Aug 21, 2009)

He does sound very cold to do that to a wee puppy boy.
Even though my man prefers the huskies to the chis he still gives them all equal affection, especially if they go to him looking for it.
He is no angel though and can be really petty and jealous but he knows he woud get the boot over my dogs any day. lol


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## Lou_lou (Jul 23, 2009)

Oh dawn I hope your ok  I did notice the other day he had no interest in the dogs and I guess it didn't help perry peed up your lovely white sofa eeeek! Lol 
If you need anything just give me a call or if u need to get away for a evening I'm just down the road xxx


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

I don't care if he sees it lol


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## Terri (Aug 21, 2009)

LOL Dawn, i like your style.
Maybe seeing it would give him the kick up the jacksy he needs!!


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Louise I wasn't bothered about Perry peeing, he's a dog its what they do lol and the covers need renewing anyway as they are wrecked and in places thread bare. did you not notice his attempts to sew the arms up. Anyway a bit pee takes a few minuets to wash up, no big deal. He did moan a few times about it but it went in one ear and out the other as he always moans. 

I wondered if you noticed how he just ignored the dogs, most animal lovers would have at least said hello to them. If Jake and Red jump up onto the sofa he will move Red away and stroke Jake and let Jake cuddle into him but no Red is always moved away. It boils my blood but I don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that otherwise he will gloat. Instead I take Red and cuddle him.

He came down stairs this morning and got at me about the dogs, not asking but telling me they are to go in the conservatory at night and all the toys to go in a box at night. Now I don't mind the toys being put away but there is no way when winter hits that I am letting my dogs sleep in the conservatory, bloody hell its like a freezer box in there in winter.

Red sleeps there at night at the mo but the weather isn't too bad at the mo and I have a toy you heat up that I put in for him. But in winter a warm toy won't keep them warm enough all night but no wart hog don't care. 

I told him all he has done is tell me this and that and moan, in the end I got up walked out slaming the door then very quickly got my boots on took the dogs and went to the stables.

When I got back I prayed he had gone out but just my luck he was still in. I decided sod it I'll just keep out of his way. However he rushed down stairs and put his arms around me and apologised. I didn't apologise as I felt I had tried hard enough for him as it was and just thanked him for apologising. I know he was sincere as he is the type who thinks he is never wrong even when proven.

Nora he even offered to go to Teco's with me.. and that is a rare offer, oh yeah we never go anywhere together so Tesco's is amazing lol

I have to go out anyway and don't want to go out come back the house just to go out to tesco's again. He says he has a lot of work on so can't come to any shops that I need to go to so instead I am gonna just get what I want and he is gonna get what he wants later and he has already said he is gonna buy a load of gunk... wart hog, wart hog, wart hog.. oh I love the pic of the wart hog by the way and its so much better looking lol

Well I gotta go and do some shopping, I am gonna buy a really expensive dog house that Jake andred can fit into, Lousie you have seen the one Red has in his pen, I am gonna buy that same one but bigger, the small one was £40 so not sure what the big one will cost but I don't care I'd rather spend my money on my boys.

I felt like cr_p this morning but feeling a bit better now.

And thanks for listening everyone, I know I've been going on and on like a nut house and there isn't anything anyone can do but just chatting and moaning helps and havong you listen to me raving helps loads

Thanks again 

Deme x


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## TripleAChihuahuas (Apr 8, 2010)

Deme said:


> Cor that sounds terrible,
> 
> I wrote a long thread going on and on about his faults then thought though I have no respect for him amd couldn't give a toss what I said about him, on CP it wasn't the place to do this.
> 
> ...


I am so sorry Deme didn't know you were going through so much with him. He should know better. mine teases me all the time but if there was already having trouble with him I would find a way out of the relationship and be in a safe place for me and the dogs. Hope things get better for you!


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

I love that pic of pumba haha 

It's a shame perry didn't pee up your oh


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## Lou_lou (Jul 23, 2009)

Haha it wouldn't of surprised me if he did, he quite often pees on people and me :|


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

That's precisely why I have girls haha... I will wear wellies to the lcc champ lol


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## xxtarafiedxx (Sep 10, 2010)

I would have been pissed off. My boyfriend and I bought Peanut together, so our sitution might have differed. Cookie is my family Chi, and when my boyfriend first met her, he didn't know how to react. He mostly said "ew, you have an ankle biter?" and then cookie bit his hand. but now, my boyfriend treats Cookie like his daughter. it may just take some time.

on the other hand, my dad reacts exactly like this with Peanut. When i first got him, I told my parents that Peanut would live at my boyfriend's house. with me at college in the morning, and my boyfriend at work in the afternoon/evening, Peanut spends a lot of time at my house. at first, my dad wouldn't let Peanut out of his cage at all. And now, after 2 months, i catch my dad playing with Peanut, or letting Peanut nap on his big gut.

not all people have that special "connection" with every single dog, let's just hope that he gets to like him more


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## foggy (Oct 12, 2009)

TLI said:


> I'm sorry you had to deal with that Deme. Things like that can really break your heart. Personally, if someone doesn't like my pups, then they don't like me. That's just how I feel. Because I think if someone truly cares about you they find your passions an importance.


This is how I feel as well. 

I'm sorry you're going through this, Deme.


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Careful louise I may take your offer up and come over one evening, its always nice to get out now and then.

Well this is gonna shock the socks off ya all

I went to my mates for a "Jamie at Home" party tonight and I didn't get back to the house till 10.45pm. When I got in WH (Wart Hog) came down stairs and asked if I got his text. Now I am worrried  as I know Red has done something. I hadn't seen the text so got my phone and read it to see a message telling me that Red had done a load of poo's. pee'd all over. stood in the mess and it was all over the pen. 

I braced myself expecting to hear something I didn't want to hear. instead WH told me that he put Red outside in the garden for half hour while he cleaned all the mess up. He wasn't angry or upset but actually seemed concerned.

WTF.... how can someone mess with my head like this... treat me like cr_p one minute then be nice like this the next.... 

But... I thanked him.. which always helps but most of all I was dumb founded. Maybe he really has realised how bad he was to me today and this is his way of making it up to me.

I decided to bath the two lads as they stunk especially Red who had trampled in all his mess.

I think Red give himself an upset tummy as at the stables today he was eating horse poo and grass and whatever else he could find. He also never ate all his dinner today which is not like Red.

So it has been a right mix of emotions today, see what the next few days bring.

Thanks everyone

Deme x


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

Awwwwww Deme. All marriages have ups and downs. Sounds like he WAS trying! Maybe he knew how upset you were and is trying to make amends. I hope so because I don't want you to be miserable. I want you to be happy.


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

LOL thanks for that, he definately was trying and its a postive move, we aren't married.. we were engaged years ago but after a huge row it was called off.. 

Deme X


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

Deme said:


> LOL thanks for that, he definately was trying and its a postive move, we aren't married.. we were engaged years ago but after a huge row it was called off..
> 
> Deme X


Ah I see. But you guys have lived together for 10 years? Well, to me, that's pretty much like being married. I'm glad he seems to be trying - that's really good. Now if he can stop the snoring..... hahaha


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

Gotta get him to loose weight, now that is a mountain to climb lol


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