# How do I build confidence?



## gBOYsc2 (Feb 6, 2011)

My boy Pablo is scared of every human and every dog other them my wife and myself. And not just people but strange objects too. He only lets people pet him if I am holding him. I try to introduce him to people and calm dogs when we go for walks but he just wants to hide behind me, and when I hold him in front he won't acknowledge the other dogs, he just turns his head. He is afraid of women pushing baby strollers and cyclists. I would really like for him to sniff other dogs and people and just be his comfortable self that he is at home. 

When we have guests come over he just hides behind me. He won't let anyone pet him unless I'm holding him which he has no option. He is afraid of dumpsters and blue bins. He doesn't like to walk past them but he is slowly getting over it. He used to be afraid of park benches but he has gotten over it. He is afraid of staircases in the river valley. He won't go near them. We took him to Petsmart and he was fine but as soon as we got towards the door he sunk to the floor and wouldn't move. So we carried him inside and put him down and he just sunk to the floor again. Strangely his tail wasn't tucked and was flat out on the floor. It took about 15 minutes for me to get him to do a tiny little 'creep' along the floor with super baby steps LOL. All in all I just used my patience and by the end of the Petsmart trip he was walking around at a decent pace with us, but he was still weary of everything.

I really would like him to be confident and comfortable around other people, animals and inanimate objects of all kinds but I have no clue how. Do I need to just keep exposing him to everything? Has anyone else had a fearful chi like this? 

Any input would be greatly appreciated by myself, my wife and my Pablo.


----------



## svdreamer (Feb 20, 2010)

My Pepper is like that. He was fine as a baby, but as he aged, he's become fearful of everything. And I have no idea why. I've had him since he was 6 weeks so I know he's never been taumatized. I guess it's just his personality. It's frustrating, I wish he was bold and outgoing, but he just isn't. Wish I had advice for you.


----------



## guccigrande (Apr 17, 2011)

Gucci is quite bold despite being small. He goes up to everyone and gives them cuddles and licks
Prada is more apprehensive... she tends to hide behind be or back off if someone she doesn't know tries to pet her
What is really funny though, is that she is scared of any objects lying on our path on the street, like an empty can or a plastic bag
She LEAPS away from it, but I always try to take her next to it to let her have a sniff, then we walk along
But she is still scared sometimes


----------



## widogmom (Mar 23, 2011)

How old is Pablo now, and how old was he when you got him? Did you get him from a breeder, a shelter, or a rescue? It sounds like you are doing the right thing as far as exposing him to various things, as long as you take it slowly. It's important that you don't fuss over him when he exhibits the fear response - be nonchalant and upbeat, rather than "Oh poor baby" (that part is the hardest for me!) to avoid reinforcing the behavior. You might also want to have the vet check his eyesight and hearing - sometimes diminished sensory input can cause a fear response. Good luck with him - BTW, I've got a Pablo, too!


----------



## gBOYsc2 (Feb 6, 2011)

Pabs is almost 7 months old now. We got him at 13 weeks of age from I guess what you would call a breeder. Well just a lady that had a litter of puppies not soo much an actual breeder. 

When I take him in to get neutered at the beginning of June I will ask them to check his vision. His hearing is definitely good as he is very responsive to our commands.

Edit: I might add that he was extremely shy and timid ever since we got him. When we went to purchase him he was hiding under the couch and the other 2 puppies from the litter were all over us giving us love and kisses, meanwhile the mom wouldn't let us anywhere near her.


----------



## widogmom (Mar 23, 2011)

He might be just the timid one of the bunch. He's young, and you're already addressing it, so he could be just fine up the road. My first Dobe, Casey, was sharp-shy; her mom actually bit me when I went to look at the puppies. I bought her anyway (they had my deposit, I drove three hours to get her, they were scary people...all the wrong reasons), and it was a long road to get her so that she was safe to take out in public. Your little guy sounds like he's just shy; puppy classes with a really patient, reputable trainer might help.


----------



## musser1972 (May 4, 2011)

There are confidence building games you can play with them. Tug of War is one. I like to get down to their level by laying on the ground and playing tug with them. I try to ALWAYS let them win, then give them a GOOD BOY!!! GOOD BOY!!! scratches and kisses and then do it some more. The more you play the harder they will tug and the longer they will hold on and try to win. More praise and more playing and repeat  It's really good for their confidence. I've got my chi playing tug with my Pug now and he wins that battle most of the time because my poor pug can't breath with his mouth shut  ha, ha. Once they get use to playing tug with you, try other family members and what not. They need to know they can beat anyone, so they must be a big strong doggie 

This is a good reference: Building A Submissive Dog's Confidence


----------



## gBOYsc2 (Feb 6, 2011)

Thanks for all the input so far everyone!

@widogmom - He definitely is the timid one of the bunch! I also imagine since they are such little ones in a such a HUGE world they are naturally a little weary of everything unknown. I will definitely look into puppy classes for him. Also upon a bunch of google searching I read that agility training can also help build confidence. Another thing I will look into.

@musser1972 - I play tug of war with him all the time but he is at the stage of losing teeth so he seems disinterested in it lately. I definitely let him win but I make him really work for it.  I didn't realize this was a good exercise but I will keep on playing tug of war with him. I bought a stuffing-less fox that is quite long which he loves to try and take from me. Good to see another male around here . I will definitely give that article a good read.

Thanks again!

Edit: I forgot to mention.. Pabs overcame is fear of bridges in an instant today. We came to a little bridge to cross the creek and he froze and tried to turn around and go the other way. So I picked him up and placed him in the middle of the bridge and made him walk the rest of it with me. After that he easily approached and crossed every little bridge we encountered(and there were a lot). Soooooooo proud!


----------



## tonya_bella (Mar 30, 2011)

hiya my bella is like that,on tonights walk she froze when she saw a for sale sign outside a house and wouldnt walk past it,then she had a heart attack when she walked over a metal grid in the path.i have noticed though the more she is in contact with people and different things the better and braver she is the next time,she was scared to death of toddlers but she's been around my nephew a few times an is fine,shes 5months old now


----------



## fran (Apr 15, 2011)

Another confidence booster game I learned from the dog trainer I am getting to help me is called "100 things to do with a box". (I noticed my little Diego--7 mo rescue--liked to weave around things, so I happened to have a molded plastic 2-step step stool, so I used that; I think anything like that or the original box idea would work).

Take any cardboard box and cut the sides down so they are not too tall. Then get a clicker and some of your pup's food kibble (use part of his daily meal rations, to avoid over-feeding). Place the box on the floor in a safe play area and wait for your little one to sniff or do any kind of interaction with the box. Every time he interacts with the box, click and give a treat immediately after. Do not reward for the same interaction more than twice. After awhile, your pup will begin putting his big brain to work and will come up with all sorts of interactions! This helps him know that he can reason through things, rather than react to things, and also that if he does pleasing things he gets a treat!

I wasn't sure this game would make much difference, but Diego's behavior outside and in new and previously-scary interactions really changed and as we play this game every day, he continues to improve.

Another thing in new situations is to never press your pup into the interaction. If you need to walk away or back up at first, that is ok. If your guy is doing something brave like sniffing or being curious, then click and reward with kibble or treats you have factored into daily calories. For e.g., when I take Diego on his morning walks, I click and treat when he is not pulling on leash, but also when he walks past scary dogs barking or people he doesn't know, etc. This has made a big difference too, as has a Caesar Milan-like way of being where I try and stay calm and assertive myself and not tense up, assuming something will scare my little guy.

I am not a trainer, but I hope these things might be of some help. If you have really retractable problems, a few training sessions might help you too. All the best!


----------

