# R's Chi Diary



## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

I'm wondering if I can take Puck to work with me anymore. He needs it, once or twice a week, otherwise he refuses to sleep at night.

However, he likes to attack my boss's feet. Err...bad puppy.

Last week when the door to the upstairs was left open (my boss has a home office), he went upstairs and dragged all of THEIR dogs' toys out of the basket and began bringing them downstairs one by one. I was writing a letter, so I didn't notice until we had 3. Oops!

"Dad" is having a stupid card-playing "tournament" tonight. He asked me to clean up while he went to the card shop. So I did, and poor Puck didn't get to go outside all day. He sat on the back of the couch looking forlornly out the window and barking at passersby. 

And to no avail, because now "Dad" is tearing my clean house all up so there will be enough tables for everyone to play on. *sigh*


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Whoops! Last night wasn't particularly successful for Puck. He didn't act as if he had a problem with our guests, but he peed on my bed twice---TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He hasn't peed on the bed since he was 5 months old, and he only did it a few times before that. He KNOWS better than that, we sleep in the bed. And he has no excuse, as I had cleaned up the whole house and he had a nice, new pee pad down.

I took him outside for a while and he knew he was in trouble. He was upset about it and wouldn't play, and wrapped his lead around several objects until I had to come untangle him.

One of our guests brought their son, who hit Puck with the easter toy my Mom bought him. It was a stuffed chick that makes a chirping noise, not a dog toy. Puck pulled all the stuffing out on Easter day. I actually meant to throw it away, but I guess Puck found it somewhere. Since there's no stuffing, there's the silver-dollar-sized noisemaker just in there. The little brat smacked Puck with the toy and you could hear the *CRACK* when the noisemaker came into contact with Puck's head. Puck did it to himself when he played with it every few minutes, but I still wanted to turn around and hit the little monster right back.


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## Mia (Feb 29, 2004)

heehee puck sounds like such a charachter, its hilarious how chi love to hoard things they find, the other day i caught keeks dragging a melon skin that was almost twice the size of her to her bed, she also loves stealing my laundry the little devil.
and i can relate to your fustration with the little boy, when i first got my cat this little girl that wud come to my house love tormenting it GRR..
mia
x


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Yesterday we went to work again, but only in the afternoon. I've started going home at lunch to walk Puck. I think it will help him. Now all I have to do is start training myself to walk him in the morning and before bed. Unfortunately, I only have half an hour, and even though my house is about 5-7 minutes away, it's barely enough time.

Puck thinks that the office is a playpen just for puppies. He wiggles like crazy when we walk in and immediately grabs his toy and dances around as if the office=playtime. I'm not entirely sure why he has that idea. I mean, we do play, but mostly I work.

Yesterday I had to do a bunch of taxes at the last minute (I tried to do them last week, but my boss said, "We don't have to do them until the 30th". Since I just started there recently, I've never done these forms before and he has to explain it to me first). Puck was acting like a lunatic, until I had to put him into his portable kennel. I felt mean and my boss even said, "Oh, poor Puck." (And I know he hates it when Puck attacks his loafer laces).

This morning we lazed around in bed. Puck went back and forth from me to my boyfriend to get the maximum amount of belly scratching. Then when my boyfriend got up to go make coffee, it was PLAYTIME. Attack Mom's face time. Attack Dad's foot and robe and be dragged around while Dad is talking on the phone. Bring all the toys into the kitchen and drop them at Mom's feet while she's making breakfast. Sheesh.

It's cute, but I honestly really can't wait until Puck grows up a little and (hopefully) calms down. I thought Chihuahuas were only supposed to be medium-energy dogs. I guess I lucked out and got one with a high-energy personality.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

I finally found my epilator, which has been missing for about 2 1/2 months. I epilate because, frankly, the pain of it bothers me less than the pain and incessant itching I deal with when I shave. So today I epilated, which was five times as painful because it had been so long. Puck hid under the bed. Everytime I turned it off for a second, he came running out with his tail between his legs and started jumping on my back. Kinda like the vacuum, but weirder, I guess, huh, Puck?


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Neat. MamaJChis lives in the close part of Tennessee. Maybe that means that Puck can get a playmate soon. Of course, I'll have to sell the idea to my roommates. That's the crappy thing about being a student, I guess, the necessity of roommates, and having to worry about their wishes.

This morning Puck was chewing on a pen. As usual. I can't even figure out where he gets them from. So he got a new rawhide.

Were Chihuahuas ever used for birding? He wants to chase birds more than anything else in the world.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

I think we may have some new converts. My boyfriend's sister and her girlfriend are visiting and they are just in love with Puck. Chihuahuas are like a cold, they are contagious! But unlike a cold, you just can't get enough of them.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Puck has had a very good week. He got to go to work with me every single day, since my boyfriend's sister was in town and she wanted to play with him.

This morning he was curled up next to my boyfriend's stomach, but when I looked at him he was staring out the window with his ears twitching. Man, does he want to go outside. But I want to check my e-mail first. Then it's off to the Petsmart ...

Haha. My roommate just started petting him and said, "Aww, you're so cute, you feel like velvet."


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Got Puck a "shedding blade." I need a way to get the fur off of him outside so he won't shed as much inside. I've put off buying the blade because they look like torture instruments to me, but they were the only thing I saw that claimed to "remove excess hair." So we tried it. Puck hates being brushed at the best of times (which confuses me, isn't it like petting?), but he was fairly good while I used it. And it works--great.

I also got some Mane & Tail extra moisture conditioner to bathe him with. It does seem moisturizing, but I should have checked the ingredients first. I don't want to use anything with alcohol in it on him, because as often as I want to bathe him, I don't want to use anything that might dry his skin out. Oh well.

Today we got locked out of the house, even though we had a key. Puck was mad because he wanted to stay outside all day, and I was mad because it was too hot to be locked out so I decided to sit in the car with the air conditioner running. Time to call the landlord and demand that he change our locks, because it's ridiculous to be locked out of your own house when you have a key in your hand, but the lock won't turn.

I vacuumed the house and Puck refused to come downstairs for an hour after I was done. Now he's dragging trash from somewhere. He's so funny, he knows he's not supposed to be doing it, because I hear a rustle and I turn around, and he drops the trash and runs, jumps into my lap, and starts apologizing. Perhaps I'm attributing him too much cleverness, but I believe he wants attention.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Chihuahuas are so easily spoiled. Last night, Puck was sleeping on top of us while we were watching a movie. I decided to go to bed, because it was almost over and it was a stupid movie anyway. He followed me to the foot of the stairs and then stood there looking upset, so I had to go down and carry him up. I put him on the bed while I was getting ready for bed and he PEED ON THE BED AGAIN. YOU JERK!!!!!! I put him down on his paper, then my boyfriend came upstairs as I was inspecting the blanket he'd peed on. My boyfriend laid down after checking the matress for pee, and Puck tried to jump up on the bed and failed. What, you were just to tired to climb the stairs, pee on your paper, and jump into bed? You brat. It wasn't even late. 

This morning he is very very sad, because I've been busy at work until now and he has only had 1 walk and one 15-minute fetch session. 

I think we need more obedience training. They always say you can start at 6 months, but Puck just pays no attention--except that a treat in the hand means to alternate sitting and laying down until he gets it. I have never had trouble training a dog to do tricks before. 

The potty training, well, I've never had to do that, my parents always took care of it. But SIT is so basic. *sigh* Listen to my voice, Puck!


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

*Not exactly Chihuahua-related...*

Not exactly Chihuahua-related...

Today I had Puck at work, we played a lot of fetch..........as usual. And chase-the-Puck-with-the-stuffed-duck too.

One of my boss's subcontractors came by to get a check. He has Jack Russels and we talked about dogs for a while.

He left, and called a few minutes later. He said, "There's what looks like a falcon or maybe a young gold eagle on the side of the road just down from the house." I was thinking, "Err...why are you telling me?" and I said, "Is there a wildlife conservation society or something here that I could call?" (I live in the middle of nothing *sigh* ). 

He suggested calling the county's humane society--except that there isn't one, yet. They've just formed and are building a shelter now. I looked up animal shelters in the phone book, there was one listed--but the number was out of service! I tried looking up wildlife, and, not to my surprise, there wasn't anything. 

So I was flipping through the yellow pages, thinking, and my eyes landed on the number for the vet I used to nueter Puck. So I called them to ask them if they knew of anyone who dealt with wildlife rescue and rehabilitation around here. They said, "hold on" then someone else came on the line. She asked me what she could do for me, so I went through the story again. She asked me how to get to the road, so I was like, "Am I still talking to All Animals?" She said, yes, and she deals with wildlife. So I had to ask my boyfriend the best way to get from the vet to the house (I still don't know any of the roads around here). She said she'd be on her way and asked if I could tell the subcontractor to try to wait on her, so she could spot the place.

Luckily, he was still there and said he'd wait. I heard a scream and then he was saying, "calm down, calm down." I thought he was crazy, I don't know much about raptors, but you don't get near an injured wild animal without knowing exactly what you're doing. I guess it must have been the bird that screamed. Then he said that he hoped that she brought equipment to transport the bird with--I said I figured that if she dealt with wildlife, she would. He mentioned that he'd recently taken a bird in a dog carrier to Murrayville, since that was the nearest place with a wildlife shelter. It's a good thing that there are people, even in the middle of nowhere (especially in the middle of nowhere) that try to take care of wildlife.

Anyway, I was already at work an extra hour, so I left after I finished faxing a customer. The subcontractor said that the bird's back definately looked broken. I guess they might put it down, then, since there probably isn't a rehabilitation center here. I'm not sure what will happen.

I wish that the bird would be ok, though.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Still no update on the bird. I forgot to call again this evening, though I left a message with the vet for the woman to call me about it when she came in. Maybe she was too busy with the bird to call, maybe he will survive.

Today I noticed something troubling. One of Puck's hind legs seems to be wobbling strangely. I've always thought his back legs looked kinda funny and that he might have that laxating pellula (or however you spell it)...but with this wobbling, now I'm really worried.

So, since I want the vet to check that out, and also test him for mange, I made an appointment for next week.

I'm giving my first vet another chance. Really, everyone there is very friendly and very helpful--EXCEPT for the DVM's assistant. She always acts like she has much better things to do than talk to me about my dog. Unfortunately, she has been the one to see Puck every time except once. They asked me why I'd had him neutered at the other vet, and I told her 'because they were going to let me take Puck home if everything went fine (which it did)' and because I was becoming frustrated with the DVM's assistant. She told me that I could request Dr. Landry from now on and she hoped I'd come back.

Pretty funny too. I called my old vet, "new" vet, and Banfield to get a price on the mange test. Each one evened out to $52. Banfield was $30 for the visit, $22 for the scrape, my old vet was $37 for the visit and $15 for the scrape, and my "new" vet was $35 for the visit and $17 for the scrape.


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

absolethe said:


> Pretty funny too. I called my old vet, "new" vet, and Banfield to get a price on the mange test. Each one evened out to $52. Banfield was $30 for the visit, $22 for the scrape, my old vet was $37 for the visit and $15 for the scrape, and my "new" vet was $35 for the visit and $17 for the scrape.


 Isn't that odd how the prices vary.....the Banfield here is $37 visit and $17 scrape....


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

I sent you some links in a private message on mange...


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Thanks. Now it makes more sense. Well, sorta. It makes more sense to me that it would be a disease, but if it's mites, it's mites!!!!!!

Now we just have to wait until Wednesday, to see what the vet says. They might not scrape him, it depends on whether they agree with the assessment of my other vet. They'll examine his legs too. Hopefully there will be NOTHING wrong with either.

(Still no news on the bird, by the way.)


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Today Puck slept. :shock: I got finished with everything-I-could-think-of-for-the-moment at work and dangled his duck toy in front of him. He rolled over, yawned, licked my face, then hid his head under his paws. I was in shock. Could he actually be getting less exuberant? He's actually hanging out right behind me, calm as can be, right now!


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Well, the vet looked at the bird and determined that it's tail was broken irreparably (as far as what he could do). So they turned it over to some wildlife rehabilitation place they knew of. The girl I talked to said that they were going to decide what would happen to him from there.

I said, "Hopefully they will save him."

She said, kinda sharply, "His tail is completely broken and he will never be able to return to the wild."

I said, "Yes, but those rehabilitation people will usually keep a bird even if it won't fly again."

She said, "He can't even stand."

I said, "Oh...that's so sad. Maybe they will have to put him down..."

She said, "He was just a baby and a sweet bird. He'd let you pet him and just handle him as much as you wanted."

That's really crappy. We think he was hit by a car. I hope the wildlife people do keep him anyway. They have all kinds of ways to help a bird permenantly injured--they don't HAVE to kill him...though the bird might be just as happy either way. I guess it's just me feeling like it's awful to kill a defenseless animal.

Puck pooped in my boss's office today and he noticed it before I did.  :shock: Bad Puck...you're going to get banned from work.

Puck won't ever let me help him up into my chair and he's always hurting himself. He'll come up to me and I'll hold out my arms and say, "Want up?" And he'll skitter back. So I'll turn back to what I'm doing and then he'll decide he's going to make a jump for it. Today he fell heavily onto his back and ALSO later bumped his head really hard against the bottom of the desk (he does that constantly). I don't think it hurts him, at least, he doesn't act like it, but *I* do. And it worries me.


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## chimama (May 14, 2004)

*lucky you*

You are sooooo lucky you can take your dog to work with you. Where do you work if I may ask. I need a job like that. I work in an emergency room so no way I can take anything there, lol. You sure do have a little devil so it sounds.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

He can be a mischevous little thing. And dumb, at times. (Why do dogs try to eat everything in their reach...*sigh*)

I work for my boyfriend's father. He owns a landscaping company. I am his Secretary/Executive Assistant/Accounts Receivable/Accounts Payable/etc./etc. Since he has a home office, I can get away with bringing Puck with me.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Puck got another bath today. Since I only rub conditioner over him and rinse him off (and I use baking-soda and aloe conditioner with no alcohol in it), will it dry him out too bad? I try not to bathe him every week, but sometimes (especially right now, with him shedding so much) I can't help it.

I try to cuddle him and I start sneezing, so in the tub he goes.

I used the shedding blade before I bathed him and I couldn't stand it anymore, SO MUCH hair was coming off of him. I wish Andrew would help with it.

It seems like most of the hair comes off around his neck area. I wonder if it's because mange is making him lose hair around his ears (I am still worrying about it even though I will know for sure on Wednesday), or simply because his hair is thicker there because of his ruff.

Can a dog be one color and have an undercoat of a different color? Because most of the hair that comes off of his neck is light-colored. And the thinner his hair looks up there, the more tan shows around his ears.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Oh, and I forgot to say.

I got so mad today.

I am 21, my boyfriend is 23, and our roommate is 22. We are all youngsters struggling with our expenses.

My boyfriend's best friend, Mike, is in the military. Mike's little brother is the last of the 4 brothers at home and his dad has started doing cocaine and kicked him out, so he lives with us.

He's an ok kid, but he likes to be purposely obnoxious because he thinks it's funny. Sometimes it is, yeah, yeah, but it gets tiring. It's hard to have him here, because he sleeps on our couch and wants to use our computers. Then he uses dial-up internet and ties up our phone line. 

It was a big ordeal to get him to buy his own food. My boyfriend told him before he moved in, and I told him afterwards, "We can't afford to feed you." Yet, whenever his mother would give him money he would spend it on soda and eat whatever we cooked.

Today his dad came over. I was really surprised, seeing as I didn't think they were speaking

Puck barked at him, of course, and he started in a know-it-all way to talk about how "little dogs" are. Most of it was BS, focusing on how they were nervous and would become more nervous, mean, overprotective, and yappy the older they got.

I was cleaning up, so I turned my back and went back to my chores when Puck calmed down about a new person being in the house. Suddenly I hear Puck screaming, and I turn around to see Keith (the dad) with his hands over Puck's head, squeezing, and Puck frantically trying to escape.

I don't know what Puck did, but I wanted to kick him out of my house right then. I couldn't, though, because he's an "adult" and I don't feel capable of lecturing someone 20+ years older than me.

I really wish I had said something, but I snatched Puck away and took him into the kitchen to soothe him.

Maybe Puck bit his fingers or something, but even if he did, he is MY dog and I don't harm him to discipline him, aside from occasionally flicking him with my finger when he refuses to listen to my voice. Mostly I use noise to get his attention and say "No."

It just wasn't his place and Puck MUCH too small to ever treat that way. Thinking about it makes me so mad. Especially since we are taking care of HIS son. Maybe I will tell him never to touch my dog when they come back...I don't know, though, I should have said it right then.


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## OzzyAndLilysMom (Mar 9, 2004)

hey chimama

are you a nurse ? :lol:


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

For some reason, Puck absolutely REFUSED to go to the bathroom this morning. I think he sensed I wasn't going to take him to work (even though he's been every day for TWO WEEKS). I made myself late, sitting with him in my lap next to his pad (morning is when we reinforce the paper). I put him down on it, he'd crawl back into my lap.

I put him in his crate, knowing he'd have an accident--and sure enough, when I came home at lunch to walk him, he'd pooped in it and was huddled and stinky in the opposite corner.

So he came back with me after lunch, since I didn't have time to clean out his crate--and come to think of it, I should go ahead and wash some of his pillows and blankies.


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

absolethe said:


> I don't know what Puck did, but I wanted to kick him out of my house right then. I couldn't, though, because he's an "adult" and I don't feel capable of lecturing someone 20+ years older than me.
> 
> I really wish I had said something


 *First of all my dear... THAT IS YOUR HOUSE period. You have every right to tell someone to leave or not to touch your dog! God forbid if he did someting to really hurt Puck. And if your additional person is not going to do his part then he needs to mooch off somebody else. Sorry that is how I feel and your boyfriend should be backing you up. Your house is your rules....*


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Living with other people is a huge nuisance. 

This morning, Puck was barking at something in the living room, while I was holding my head and ignoring it. 

Our moocher put in "The Ring" yesterday afternoon. I have a PROBLEM with horror movies. I am helplessly fascinated by them, yet it is a VERY bad idea for me to watch them. I have what they used to call "an over-active imagination." It doesn't matter if I'm not scared at the time, I will be helpless at night for at least a month.

And last night Puck decided to start growling and barking at a corner of the room every few hours. Which, of course, terrified me. Finally I uncurled myself enough from being frozen and sweating in fear under the covers to shake Andrew and tell him "turn on the light, please, please." He did (thank you so much) and I left it on the rest of the night.

So, when, this morning, he continued barking at what I perceived out of the corner of my eye as "probably a pile of clothes, but it could be a monster or a dead body," I just pretended I wasn't scared and ignored it.

Turns out it was a shirt, a basketball, and a half-eaten bag of popcorn.

My popcorn.

I don't even like popcorn, but I always keep a box in the house, just in case I get in the mood for some (which usually happens when a movie I really like comes on TV and I get excited about it). The other night the Princess Bride came on, and I made some. I guess that clued our moocher in to the fact that I have popcorn.

So he made and ate some of my popcorn last night. Well, either he did or our other roommate did. Either of which is, in my opinion, not acceptable. Our roommate is our age, but is under the impression that, even though he is too good for school, he does not have to work menial jobs. He's been unemployed for, oh, two or three months now, looking for another job in the design field. He ends up getting that kind of work because he is persistant, but he never pays his bills on time and eats our food often as well, because he can't just work at McDonalds while looking for a position as "Head Graphic Designer for Atlanta Weekly Magazine."

These things irritate me, but I don't say anything about them, because--one by one--they are trivial. But the general trend is...well...let's just say I'm probably about to make a scene.

For example, last night I made Kool-Aid, went upstairs for an hour or two, and when I came back down to get a glass, it was nearly gone. 

Andrew's friend came over uninvited, parked in my parking spot (each resident is only allowed two in our parking lot, and if it's taken, we have to park illegally across the street), and they all proceeded to play a video game on MY Xbox and make a lot of noise.

It was apparantly a Kool-Aid drinking party (I guess that's better than a lame drunken semi-frat party in my living room). I sat upstairs and gorged on candy to calm myself.

There's so many things I'm sick of.

Andrew is a slob, and so am I. The difference being that I am generally aware of and relaxed about my sloppiness. He went through a phase recently when he was straightening up the house nearly every day, and doing a fairly good job of it (for a guy). The problem was that he decided to pat himself on the back for it and spent a few months bitching at me day in and day out about how messy I am and saying, "No one does anything around here but me." Unfortunately, though he straightened the place up admirably, he did not clean it. Which irritated me about his crowing even more. I ignored it successfully most of the time, but there were a few fights.

I ignored it because it deserved to be ignored. Even sloppy people will keep the place spotless for periods of time. For example, Andrew has reverted to his typical behavior, and I am cleaning up the kitchen 5 times every day. I walk in, clean and straighten, the guys come through and it's disgusting again. I feel like complaining, but I won't. When you live with other people, you have to cope. Perhaps I will ask our moocher to please rinse his dishes and put them in the dishwasher, since I am keeping up with the loading, washing, and unloading so well that there can be no confusion about the state of the dishes in the washer.

Also, I personally have a no-shoe rule. Unfortunately, no one else seems to follow it but me. I have told all of Andrew's friends several times, but when I don't remind them, there they are tracking dirt into the carpet again. How hard is it to take your shoes off at the door?

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Keith came over again the next day, by the way, and talked some shit about how he was an "Alpha Male" and that my dog needed to recognize it. I simply held Puck in the kitchen and ignored him until he went away.

Andrew isn't really a very good boyfriend, and the Sweeney family is one thing he may never back me up about. Keith has been a father to him--he lived in their home for probably two years when his own father kicked him out.

Keith invited us to a BBQ and said I could bring my dog. I'm not even going (whenever it is), much less bringing my dog.

The way I see it, he may call himself an alpha male in his own home, but when he is in my home, Andrew is the alpha and I am second-in-command (he is only alpha because I defer to him, I'd make a much better boss :lol: ). In my home, he is in my territory on suffrance. One false move and he might find his throat ripped out. 

Too bad people aren't more like dogs at times. I should have said, "You need to leave now". We could have had a dog fight. I've been told that I'm quite a bitch, but it never seems to surface when I need it.

I truly believe he had no right or reason to act that way. But I still have an issue about "respect your elders." Intellectually, I know my elders can be stupider than I am and should earn my respect...and if they behave badly as a guest in my home, I shouldn't keep my mouth closed just because of my upbringing.

I will talk to Andrew about it tonight...because the more I think about it, the more it offends me. I believe he will pass on the message and, if not, I can always write a letter if I'm too chicken to confront him about it face-to-face.

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#1 How do you train a dog not to bark at the roommates moving around at night? For god's sake, they do it every night, but SOME nights Puck decides he's got to bark incessantly at it.

#2 Is it really stupidly stubborn to assume that a person with 10,000 emotional issues and a really bad attitude will grow up if I'm patient enough?


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

absolethe said:


> Living with other people is a huge nuisance. *AMEN*
> 
> Our moocher put in "The Ring" yesterday afternoon. *That movies scared me too*
> My popcorn. *Obviously did not ask so YOU need to tell him about it*
> ...


 *Do you want to waste the time?? Like I said life is short LIVE IT*


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## Ms_P (Apr 25, 2004)

#1 Do you really want to train him not to bark? What if it was a burglar or rapist coming in instead of your roommates? If you and your boyfriend are paying the bulk of the rent I would put my foot down and tell them if they can't come in at a decent hour then stay out till I get up in the morning.

#2 Unfortunately I don't think it will happen. I went through 3 husbands thinking the same thing. 
Husband #1 I had a son with and do hear from my son that his father is still doing the same immature things. 
Husband #2 I had 2 sons with and he passed away in November. He was an alcoholic and did drugs. He was 49 years old still did the same things.
Husband #3 moved to Kentucky with his girlfriend so they could afford to live off his military disability without either of them working. Fortunately I didn't have children with him. When he started dating his now wife she was pregnant with someone else's child and already had a daughter with someone else.
If you put up with the immature behavior and emotional issues now they will not get any better. If you can't talk to him so he understands what the problems are he will not change. 
Do you want a partner or do you want to be his mother?


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

Hey can you tell Ms P and I are older?? LOL


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Not too old, I think.

Things haven't been too bad with Andrew until just recently. His mother is bi-polar, and I think he's inhereted some problems from her, as well as having learned some bad habits from her. He's actually been diagnosed with clinical depression.

Strangely, with anyone else, I would probably have given up already. The thing with him, and I believe this whole-heartedly, is that the person he acts like most of the time is not the real Andrew. That may never change, but it's very sad to see a much better person lurking around in there.

Trust me, I'm not being optimistic. His problem is that he is VERY sensitive--more so than me, and I've always been over-sensitive. Our culture doesn't encourage that in men, and his upbringing has hurt him badly by both setting a bad example and by simply being hurtful to him. 

For example, when I moved up here, he never told me that he was happy to have me here and that he missed me--I had to take it on faith. He did, however, tell his best friend that he couldn't wait for me to move and that he had barely realized how happy he'd been with me until we were separated. 

One Christmas we had a fight and his mom went ...well, crazy...and drove me back to my home (insisting that I wasn't going to see her son again). I was furious at him for not standing up for me (I would definately do so for him), and wondered if my family was right in saying, "he probably wants to break up and is using his mother as an excuse not to do so himself." Recently his sister visited us. I said that I believed, without very much concrete evidence, that poor Andrew was just terribly sensitive and didn't know how to deal with emotions. She told me, "I know he is--remember that Christmas? He cried in my room every day." 

He may very well never learn to communicate effectively. Which would be very sad, because I do love the person I saw in him when we met--the person he still is sometimes. Life and relationships take practice, I think... Maybe he will never learn, but I don't think it's time for me to give up yet.

It's not that I want to "change" him, it's more that he, like most people, has issues that he should WANT to change. Because he will never have a meaningful, deep relationship with the attitudes he has. I'm not going to tell him what to do. But I worked through so many of my own issues myself, I believe that he can do it. If I ever believe that he truly doesn't want to, then I will give up.

But he wants to...though he may get mad at me or ignore me when I try to talk to him about something... For example, calling me when he plans to go out with a friend. He tells me that I am not his mother, or his wife, and he doesn't have to ask my permission. I tell him, "that's not what I'm saying--it's not so I can say 'yes' or 'no,' it's just so that I'll know...though if I say I had hoped we'd go see a movie, I think you should give that serious consideration." But afterwards he is very careful about letting me know where's he's going, "Hey, I'm going to Cody's" and gives me kiss good-bye. He's mixed up, but who isn't...? I just have high hopes that he will straighten it out soon.

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*Now, for my dog!!!!*

_Puck had his vet appointment today_. 

The vet said he really didn't see any symptoms of mange, and didn't think it was the least bit necessary to do a scrape. He told me that having thin hair was fairly normal, but if he lost a patch somewhere and the skin looked red, that would be the time to try testing for it. He said the slightly excessive shedding had to do with Puck losing his puppy coat as well as preparing for spring (since I mentioned he'd been shedding fairly for a while now). He gave me some Omega-Fatty stuff to put in Puck's food to help with his skin, and said that it was ok to bathe him as often as I am, since Puck wasn't having much trouble with it.

*The bad news*
Puck's right-hind leg does have a laxating pellula. The vet says it is a borderline median slip. He could pop it in an out and it didn't seem to pain Puck. He said that it might get better as he developed more muscle laterally, or it might get worse, in which case we might think about surgury. I felt smart for having noticed it, because the vet had the assistant take him across the room and let him go, so he could watch him come to me, and said you could just barely notice anything. I noticed that his left leg seemed wobbly and thought that was the bad leg, but I think that it was wobbling because he was putting more weight on it than his right leg.

The vet says that he probably has the collapsed trechea. He says that it is simply an abnormality in the shape of the trechea that causes it to be slightly flattened in one spot, and therefore a little bit constricted and sensitive. That explains why Puck acts like he's choking on his water. The vet said that it wasn't much of a problem, unless I noticed Puck having trouble breathing or swallowing often, then anti-histimines seemed to help. He said that giving a very small amount of Benedryl would be OK if he seemed to have a bad spell. I know how he feels, I have trouble breathing most of the time.

While I was at the vet I locked my keys in my car, so the vet visit was $53 and the locksmith was $55. *sigh* And after that, I needed some ice cream.


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

*oh my oh my..........I have been waiting on edge about the Puckster. So glad that it is not Mange....do some more reading in the leg issue as I believe that would be quite costly......
Regarding Andrew....if indeed it is a physical problem then there are meds to help w/those conditions (not that I believe in meds that much being holistic) but.....get him to think about it and maybe a little therapy. It will be harder to leave the longer you invest time. That is if he does not want to get help. Of course there is hope for all, and hope that the "real" Andrew will surface and stay. 
Always carry two sets of keys...........my ex taught me that. I actually have three car keys on me at all times. Ok I am a bit over zealous. My husband locks himself out ALL the time, and it really ticks me off. He has two sets on the same key chain DORK. I usually have to rescue him but he always gets them out w/out the locksmith coming. His angel of keys stays w/him...LOL*


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

I should really know better about the keys. I lose them ALL THE TIME and am CONSTANTLY locking myself out of places.

But, like a dummy, I left my spare set in Florida with my parents. They used to come rescue me, but they can't now that I live here! I intend to have my mom ship them to me. Although I may simply think about making a copies of the door key, if possible, and keeping them in various places. 

My boyfriend's father--who is nice to me, but is part of the source of Andrew's problems--told me that there is a place here that does therapy on a sliding scale. I'm going to find out where that might be, but I wonder how to broach it to him. He said to me recently that he thought he was depressed and needed help--not in those words, of course. He actually said he thought he needed "zoloft or something because [he could] tell the difference in [himself] when [he] was taking codeine for [his] tooth pain--[he] had a lot more energy" But even guys who have partially admitted it tend to react badly to "let's try therapy."  I really don't mind him being a jerk sometimes--I would probably walk all over him otherwise...I have a tendency to be pushy to those I consider my equals or subordinates...but there are limits. Like it would be really cool to be able to have a political conversation without him getting all offended, or talk about a problem without him exploding and telling me to leave.

Puck seems to really like his fatty acid stuff. Unfortunately, they gave me a crap bottle and the pump doesn't work!!!!!!  I don't know how to put it in his food without spilling it everywhere. They give directions by number of pumps, too. :evil:


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

absolethe said:


> Puck seems to really like his fatty acid stuff. Unfortunately, they gave me a crap bottle and the pump doesn't work!!!!!!  I don't know how to put it in his food without spilling it everywhere. They give directions by number of pumps, too. :evil:


 Take it back, you JUST got it....they should give you a new one.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

7:01PM
Puck runs by me toward the kitchen as I'm walking in to check the status of the chicken.

7:05PM
I notice I don't see him anywhere, so I call him. Because he's probably getting into mischief.

7:06PM
I hear a bump from under the counter.

7:07PM
I open the cabinet door where I keep Puck's food and treats and find him inside.

Dog, you are crazy. How did you even get in there? Am I doing to have to childproof the cabinets?


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## KB (Apr 13, 2004)

ABSOLUTELY child proof those cabinets.....crazy dawg!!!


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

No further cabinet incidents. It still makes me laugh when I think of it.

Puck is signed up for training classes at the Petsmart. It's kinda a long drive, so I was going to sign up with the lady who trains at her home in my town, but they gave me a discount.

And it does give me a reason to drive by the Chevron and get gas every week.

Puck, I have my fingers crossed that it will help with everything. She will be able to advise me on the house training. It will help socialize you. And I'm hoping the things they teach in class will make you a more disciplined dog. I've seen it happen before. I want to teach you cute tricks.


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Today we went to the outlet mall with leash and bag. Puck chewed through my epilator's cord, so now I need a new one because I'm growing quite a nice pelt myself. There used to be a Remington outlet there that I thought I'd check out before paying for shipping somewhere online. Unfortunately, it was gone. Yay.

We were there for over an hour and I was in the game store I used to work with chatting with the guys. Puck had been petted and cooed at many times already and had been very good. I hadn't put him in the bag.

And, would you believe it, after a nice walk and being petted by several people, this asian guy walked by with a cute little boy asleep in a stroller and Puck growled at the child! What was his problem? He never does that.


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## OzzyAndLilysMom (Mar 9, 2004)

maybe he didnt like thew stroller not the child , ozzy hates anything that goes past on wheels especially bikes :wave:


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## absolethe (Apr 18, 2004)

Last night we went to the game store again and Puck was growling and baring his teeth at a guy with crutches.

 

I kept swearing up and down...he doesn't usually act like this...he's never bitten anyone... the only time he's growled at someone was a baby in a stroller once (yeah, that sounds good, huh?).

Puppy got in trouble this morning. She had devoured and entire bowl of food on her own, then went and pushed Puck out of his breakfast. So I gave her a flick with my finger and put her back in front of her bowl. She's just a puppy, but I can't have her being mean to Puck. He just doesn't have the strength of will to stick up for himself.

She's starting to listen more, which is good. Puck was sorta the same way--ignoring my voice or clapping or anything else like that I tried to do to get his attention. So the tail flick gets implemented. But I guess she's getting the idea of "in trouble". She still doesn't care if I growl at her--she seems to get really excited......

Well, she poops all over the place.

But so does Puck.

Surprisingly, I think her sweater is coming today. I can't wait to see if it fits.

I should be at work, but I've tried to go back from lunch twice now, and I keep hydroplaning and I can't see a thing. THe rain lets up and I get in the car, and then it starts pouring again. Why me?


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