# The Green Lipped Mussel Saga ......



## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

OK, so we all know that the "New Zealand Green Lipped Mussel" is being heralded as the next, latest, greatest cure-all for all ills known to mankind & Chi's.

NOT just any mussel people, oh no, no, no .... it's very definitely ONLY the not so humble, nor small, NZGLM that is purportedly a heaven-sent miracle cure. Afterall, ZiwiPeak put it in their food, Pet Stores sell about 10 dehydrated crumbly, washed out looking ones for around $15+ and Scientists all over the world ponder and debate this miracle creature's very juices because there's also a very, very crooked industry lurking within, whereby some of it's body parts are sold as being full of the beneficial "stuff" when, in fact, that's already been sucked and or stripped out & sold to someone else in a different form .... ummm, aarrrgh, crooks in the world of NZGLM hey, whoever would've thunk it??? A search on google will reveal I do not speak with forked tongue about these sordid and very crooked practices.

So, surprise, surprise, our Woolworths supermarket sell frozen, whole UNTAMPERED with by the crooks ones by the kilo for a mere $5. I snatch 2kg as a trial thinking only of how much money I'm going to save, how smart I am to outsmart those crooks stripping the good body parts & leaving the crap ones in disguise only and how my babies are going to adore these even more than my dehydrated liver, kidney & jerky treats. Heck, next week I can see me ordering 10kg, so I thought.

Have any of you ever bought any of the expensive already dehydrated ones in the store & fed them? Did your dogs love/like/hate them? Surely we cannot be Robinson Crusoe here?

I can't tell you all how much I loathed & detested "shucking"(?) 2kgs (about 36) of these ginormously huge, hideous, grotesque, filthy, stinking, slimy, weird plant attachment growing out of every single one of them, did I mention slimy & stinking things. 

Nevermind, I pressed on, fighting the urge to pass out, safe in the knowledge that all my gagging, heaving & wretching would all be worth it in the long run when each of my babies delicately took a mussel, held it tenderly in their little paws and licked it with rapture as they savoured every morsel of this equisitely rare & expensive gift their mother had sacrificed life and limb to bring to them. 

I offered them a green "natural" one - ok, so it didn't look the best, but who would've thought a bleedin' dog would care about the aesthetics of their food - yes they're pukeworthy to look at, but do we look at Oysters before throwing 'em back, I don't think so!!!! They all just sat there looking up at me as though I'd taken complete leave of my senses and then all turned their heads away from me as they all delicately used their paws to wipe the clear slime off their noses and then just to be sure, all over their minky blankies.

Snort, you'll see, you wretched, ungratefuful little toads, mummy will give them the once over just like she does that disgusting liver & kidney she makes for you, even if she is suffering 100 times worse dealing with these extraterrestial beings with an odour that could be bottled and marketed as a weapon of mass destruction, and then you'll prance around excitedly doing anything and everything just for a morsel from Mars, sorry, New Zealand.

Fast-forward to this a.m. as I excitedly lift the lid off the dehydrator (the feeling is as joyous and akin to lifting the lid on one's pottery kiln). Oh god I wish I'd taken photos of every step of this procedure from start to finish. Thankfully I used one of the solid plastic inserts that you dehydrate pureed fruit-rollups on. I ended up with a solid mass of congealed, still highly putrid to the nostrils, crispy (mostly) indescribabe goop that I would defy CSI's forensics lab to identify.

I joyfully snapped them off a small taste each, we went through the treat ritual of come (from the other end of the house, thereby interrupting their happy play), sit, wait, eat it .... have you ever witnessed 4 Chis simulataneously take something into their mouth expectantly, and within a nan-second, simultaneously all spit it out with absolute disgust and horror, as though I'd tried to poison them? They've spent the rest of the morning strutting around looking like they've been sucking on lemons, and oh, the way they look at me with one eyebrow raised, I'm feeling like I don't belong here.

Hmm, all that work, that effort, that love, that running electricity all damn night that'll cost a bleedin' bomb, all that good intention was for nought, gaaaarrrgh. I thought, before hurling them in the trash in disgust, I'd offer them to my garbarge guts Mastiffs. Well, my oh my, like any food matter whatsoever, be it alive or dead, they adored them - I say that without qualification because when they take treats they don't actually touch the sides as they're inhaled out of mid air & end up in the stomach before even they are aware of it - I don't think they've ever experienced taste in their lives. Infact, I'm positive I could actually give them to them shells & all and they would love them raw - wonders if the chips from shells ingested could cause peritonitis, hmm, I guess I'd just shuck them for them but no more pi$$ing around in the least used room in my house (the kitchen) ever again with these evil offerings.

So, learn from my mistakes ladies, leave those vile things alone - if they're on the beach, leave them there, if they're in a store freezer, stay away, if someone offers you some fresh ones, decline! Most importantly, don't complain about the cost of them on the store shelves until you've attempted to do them at home. I'd ask a pet store to sell me a single one the next time they're bagging them up because to part with <>$17 for something that's got every chance of being spat at you, as only a Chi can do, is too far much financial risk for moi!


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

OMG how can such a little event turn into such a ruddy great novel, sorry, that's 10 mins of your life you'll never get back, I know that feeling well


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

LOL DEE!!! Best laugh of the day. Loved it.  Too bad the dogs didn't. ha ha ha


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## pupluv168 (Mar 7, 2012)

Oh, Dee, I must say one thing: Better you than me! 

All of that energy, time, and money spent! Little spoiled Chis. Glad the Mastiffs got a nice snack. 

Today, I was eating Goldfish and holding Toby. He accidently got one out of my hand. I thought he would swallow it whole, it being tasty human food and all. Nope- he spit it out! Silly, spoiled little Chi! He'd rather have his "Bambi" (aka Ziwipeak). "Bambi" is the god-awful nickname that my dad came up with for the Venison ZP, and it has caught on.


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## 20887 (Mar 16, 2011)

Thanks for the warning Dee- I probably would have done something similar! 




pupluv168 said:


> He'd rather have his "Bambi" (aka Ziwipeak). "Bambi" is the god-awful nickname that my dad came up with for the Venison ZP, and it has caught on.


Haha! Sad but funny.


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## ~LS~ (Oct 29, 2011)

Oh my goodness Dee, my stomach hurts from laughing at your misery! :lol: 
I love you woman, your brilliant stories always make my day! 
It wasn't a total waste, your Mastiffs ate them, all is good.



Ashley, I did not know people ate Goldfish.


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

pupluv168 said:


> Today, I was eating Goldfish and holding Toby. He accidently got one out of my hand.


Ash, w-w-w-w-what do you mean you "_were eating Goldfish_". Tell me please that this is some American shortbread, a cookie, gum, candy stick anything other than what I am imagining .... honestly, the thought of this makes my dealings with the mussels quite pleasant by comparison!!!

I breed very special Ranchu & Oranda Goldfish and the thought of anyone eating them, well, it turns my tummy. Reminds me, I've got to surgically remove a whole lot of one's Wen very soon so that he can see again - it's done with a scalpal holdig him down on a wet towel. I could dehydrate that & send it on over to you?


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## 20887 (Mar 16, 2011)

AussieLass said:


> Ash, w-w-w-w-what do you mean you "_were eating Goldfish_". Tell me please that this is some American shortbread, a cookie, gum, candy stick anything other than what I am imagining .... honestly, the thought of this makes my dealings with the mussels quite pleasant by comparison!!!
> 
> I breed very special Ranchu & Oranda Goldfish and the thought of anyone eating them, well, it turns my tummy. Reminds me, I've got to surgically remove a whole lot of one's Wen very soon so that he can see again - it's done with a scalpal holdig him down on a wet towel. I could dehydrate that & send it on over to you?




They are a cheese flavored cracker:

Google Image Result for http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0d/Goldfish-Crackers.jpg/300px-Goldfish-Crackers.jpg


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## pupluv168 (Mar 7, 2012)

Yeah, as Missy said they are like a not so good for you cracker type thing shaped like a goldfish. My dad had them when he was here and I am trying desperately to get rid of them. So, I had furniture people here swapping out a damaged dining room table for a new one, so I offered them to them. I ate a couple, too. 

I promise they never saw a day in water 

And Dee, thanks for the offer but... um, no thanks!


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## lulu'smom (Jan 4, 2012)

What a great chi mama you are!! You could make your money back on that whole aggravating, smelly, hilarious situation if you made it a chapter in a book! lol


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## lulu'smom (Jan 4, 2012)

AussieLass said:


> Ash, w-w-w-w-what do you mean you "_were eating Goldfish_". Tell me please that this is some American shortbread, a cookie, gum, candy stick anything other than what I am imagining .... honestly, the thought of this makes my dealings with the mussels quite pleasant by comparison!!!
> 
> I breed very special Ranchu & Oranda Goldfish and the thought of anyone eating them, well, it turns my tummy. Reminds me, I've got to surgically remove a whole lot of one's Wen very soon so that he can see again - it's done with a scalpal holdig him down on a wet towel. I could dehydrate that & send it on over to you?


This really did make me laugh so hard I about fell out of my chair! Do ya'll not have those tiny little gold crackers shaped like goldfish in Australia called Goldfish? I think it is so facinating how things are so different in different parts of the world. Of course, my husband is sitting right hear and he thought I was talking about real goldfish too. lol


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## pupluv168 (Mar 7, 2012)

lulu'smom said:


> This really did make me laugh so hard I about fell out of my chair! Do ya'll not have those tiny little gold crackers shaped like goldfish in Australia called Goldfish? I think it is so facinating how things are so different in different parts of the world. Of course, my husband is sitting right hear and he thought I was talking about real goldfish too. lol


Tina, I didn't even think about it! It's a super popular snack where I live. So many US products are global, I guess I assumed those sneaky, addicting little goldfish were one of them!!!


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## lulu'smom (Jan 4, 2012)

pupluv168 said:


> Tina, I didn't even think about it! It's a super popular snack where I live. So many US products are global, I guess I assumed those sneaky, addicting little goldfish were one of them!!!


Well, I guess I know about Goldfish because I'm the grocery shopper. Darling hubby gets to pull a Paris Hilton. He doesn't know what they sell at Wal-Mart since he doesn't ever have to step foot in there.


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## ~LS~ (Oct 29, 2011)

Oh thank god, I thought you were eating the cute little Goldfish, lol. 
...silly Russian immigrant moment...or a blonde moment...lol


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## ~LS~ (Oct 29, 2011)

lulu'smom said:


> Well, I guess I know about Goldfish because I'm the grocery shopper. Darling hubby gets to pull a Paris Hilton. He doesn't know what they sell at Wal-Mart since he doesn't ever have to step foot in there.


Hey now, I go to Walmart every second week and had no idea about the 
fish, I don't even look in the junk food aisle. Cut hubby some slack.


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

Oh thank god, I'd started to wonder if they were jerkyfied, freeze dried, crispy deepfried, battered or sushi style 

LOL Nooooo, we'all do not have them here, hence my shock & horror! About the ONLY American foods we have here is Oreos, more's the pity, imo they're horrible moreish little things, and maybe a few specialty mustards in up-market suburbs, thank goodness. 

I say, "thank goodness" because generally, as a country, we're much more of a a'la'naturale, healthy, kinda place where we tend to eat our lamb/beef & 3 veg in colder months and b-b-que or grilled and salad in warmer months. 

Perish the thought that we would ever have cheese in a spray can, or even half of the other saturated fat laden "oddities" you guys have isles and isles of in your supermarkets. Most of our isles are full of "fat free", "low fat", "lite" etc with virtually no shelf space for full fat yoghurts etc. 

Hotdogs are a relative rarity over here, but are of course, in those dreadful Donut Booths such as Wendy's etc. but any sensible "nice" Aussies avoid them like the plague because it's like eating synthetic nothingness.

I'm pretty sure if you asked them, the average True Blue AUSSIE Born & Bred family (a fairly rare commodity in itself these days depending on where you live) would be only too happy to all chip in up to $500 ea if it meant McDonalds & KFC (to a lesser extent) were deported unceremoniously, especially those damned golden arches that we all love to hate so much - I don't know how many blood vessels I've popped screaming at my kids, "Read my lips, you are NOOOOOOOOOOOT having Mc-Rotten-Stinking-Donalds, do you hear me!!!!" - they might not have, but everyone at the traffic lights and within 20' of the car did and are all giving the thumbs up! Burger King (or Hungry Jacks as it's called here) can stay, they're ok.

You do have 2 things I'll never stop craving for = Taco Bell & Mesquite Sauce  Once I get to a Taco Bell I literally have to be assisted out. Went to one in Manila, well think I did, unless it was a pretend copy type one, and it was 'orrible!!!!


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## OzChi (Oct 26, 2011)

I don't blame them Dee! I have not much cartlidge in my knee from a horseriding accident and since I'm allergic to crustaceans which is what glucosamine is made from I got told to take green lipped mussel oil capsules instead. Well I only ever got through the one box because they were so vile. I would gag even before I got one in my mouth because of the smell and I had to wash them down with gallons of orange juice to get rid of the taste and then they would repeat on me for the next 6 hours - horriffic!!!!!!


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## LBChi (Mar 12, 2012)

This whole thread had made me laugh to tears, from Dees adventures shucking mussels to you all thinking we eat the acual swimming in the aquarium gold fish here in the good old US ofA!


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

Oh god forbid Sarah, how putrid!!! Yup, the Mussels at Bow House are looking pretty damn fine - you would've missed my last post because you were typing - agree? Disagree? I'm interested to know Shoe Lady


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## KrystalLeigh (Aug 17, 2011)

Oh man, do I love eating mussels. I was a vegetarian for years and years and now that I'm off the wagon (just a little bit) I am going mussel crazy. 

Odie won't eat the ziwipeak treats with mussels in them. She has champagne taste.


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## KrystalLeigh (Aug 17, 2011)

Haha, leave it to me to be salivating over them when everyone's talking about how disgusting they are.


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## OzChi (Oct 26, 2011)

Dee I agree with you on paying to get rid of Maccas and KFC in Australia! Don't think I've eaten anything but hot chips from either of them for about 5+ years - yuk! Meat and 3 veg all the way, our grannies were on to something! Some US food I'm in love with though. The last 2 times I've been to the states I've eaten at California Pizza kitchen pretty much every 2nd day becasue their BBQ chicken salad is to die for. I've tried to make my own version at home but it's just not the same. I'm also obsessed with Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, you can get them from a couple of specialty stores here but they are about 2x the price of the US and I have to go out of my way for them.

I'm avoiding the mussels like the plague, even the pre-prepaired ones, coz I can almost taste them now just thinking about it and I'm about to gag. What's in the ZP will do for my babies. Ax and Winnie would probably eat them but since Chloe won't eat liver or kidney I don't like my chances of getting her to eat gross mussels. The all loved the sardines I got really cheaply from the market the other day though (and so did we, yummy!), Winnie's first raw fish meal and he was licking the bowl clean. Chloe had to be restrained from stashing some in her bed though


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## pigeonsheep (Nov 8, 2008)

this was too funny lmao i love the way u talk/type :lol: poor chis...poor u..yay for the mastiffs!


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## lulu'smom (Jan 4, 2012)

I think it is great that Australia promotes healthy eating. I am a southern girl and the south is not known for healthy eating. Our meat is fried the thicker the batter the deeper the better. Of course, there are exceptions, and I am trying to do better. I fried hubby's pork chops without any battering in coconut oil and he loved! Isn't that heathier? I prefer my fish blackened now instead of fried--baby steps. Dee, I will definitely agree with you. I detest McDonald's! It is one of my Mom's favorites, and I have to tell her--If your with me today it is not going to be McD! But we both LOVE Taco Bell! Nachos Belle Grande and Taco Salad. Sarah, my treat for battling through the dreaded Wal-mart trip is Reeses PB cup and they come in king size. I eat it in the car on the way home. LS, I'm so sorry I'm not a very good health food eater. That's why I know what Goldfish are. Maybe you can teach me!


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## pupluv168 (Mar 7, 2012)

I'm not a fan of junk food, but my weakness is Taco Bell! I can't get enough. And when I lived at home, I sometimes snacked on my family's stuff. 


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


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## ~LS~ (Oct 29, 2011)

lulu'smom said:


> LS, I'm so sorry I'm not a very good health food eater. That's why I know what Goldfish are. Maybe you can teach me!



I find that hard to believe, considering you look very pretty & healthy!


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## lulu'smom (Jan 4, 2012)

~LS~ said:


> I find that hard to believe, considering you look very pretty & healthy!


You are very sweet, but the truth is I really do not eat properly and I wish I did. The doctor put me on a medication for migraines, and I kid you not I lost 40 lbs on that medication. I dropped 4 dress sizes in 4 months--literally a size a month for 4 months, then I leveled out and have not changed. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat. That is the truth. The only excersize I get is what I have been walking Lulu lately which I have been meaning to ask somebody about. I started out walking her one time around my block every day. She would be panting by the time we got around. Now she can get around once and not be panting, so I have started two times around. She made it the full 2 times around one morning when it wasn't hot because it had rained that night. A couple of days ago I went around 2 times and she was panting 1/2 way through the second time, so I picked her up. When I picked her up she quit panting. Should she be able to make two times OK?


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

Wow, terrible to have migraines, I cannot imagine, but what fabulous medicine! What's the name of this stuff?

Be careful of blackened fish if it's like b-b-que charcoal black - the scientists love to tell us that black stuff is high carconogenic (Sp?), including black on toast. It's a pain for me, I love black & charred anything, especially lamb chops, b-b-que chicken & black toast with heaps of butter.

KrystalL, gaarrgh, there's one in every crowd, always a square peg, bless you - poor Sarah & I reading that after our respective experiences, I cannot imagine any human putting those things anywhere near their eating orifice.

I have to say, after dissecting about 36 of these aliens, not one was the same as another. Oddly they were all very unique to each other in structure and colour, there were only 2 bright orange ones in the whole lot (female?), and many appeared to be males with a disproportionately huge, ghastly, brown, unmentionable internal appendage that suit any SciFi horror film.


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

I really don't know about this Walmart caper, I seriously don't think I could ever step foot into one after being the recipient of each new release of the "Walmartians" emails. 

I got one last night and I laughed and howled so loudly, tears streaming down my face for ages, getting louder & louder as it went on and the stupidity got funnier & funnier. 

All 4 dogs were frantic and clearly very worried, they were sure something was drastically wrong with me - I've not laughed that hard in a very, very long time (even had to cross my legs tight) and because the dogs & I spend our days and nights without any outside or loud noises like tv, radio or anything really, just us and our quiet voices, my hysterical laughter really troubled them.

I mean, really, how can there possibly be so many freaks gathered together in one nation and in one shop, it beggars belief. I've not stepped foot in a K-Mart or Target for probably 20 years and the folk in there, whilst they can be somewhat "unusual", they can't hold a candle to Walmartians, they don't even come close, there's just nothing on the planet like those weird and strange bods.

After viewing the lastest release email I thought I'd go & view the Arkansas only pics, because I used to own a block of land in a "Resort" there - then I did a bit of research about AR and decided I probably wasn't going to bother paying my rates & taxes, and that some ******* could set up camp and have a shindig there if they liked, that would amuse me no end. The dang local Authority up & sold it on me after about 7 years to recoup unpaid taxes lmao. In hindsight, I'm ever so glad they did sell it when I see this sort of thing, omg, they walk among us, well, not "us" but you lot, fortunately for them, lmao. Unfortunately they wouldn't survive more than a minute over here! 

Funny Pictures at WalMart Arkansas


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## LittleGemma (Apr 1, 2012)

Is it weird that I'm sitting here thinking about mussels and drooling? Lol. Not sure if these taste the same as normal mussels, but I love some mussels cooked in a bit of red wine, tomatoes, onions, and garlic. Mmmmmm. Haven't had that since I left my island home!

Thanks for the laugh this morning. That's probably the best 10 minutes I'll spend all day.


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## lulu'smom (Jan 4, 2012)

Dee. the medication I am on for my headaches is Topomax. I started out on brand because they did not have generic and when they came out with generic I was automatically switched (wonderful insurance). It was HORRIBLE! Headaches came back and doctor has to override insurance for me to have brand name only. Maybe I'm wrong, but there are just some medications that generic is not the same. Anyway, back to the medicine. Some doctors will not give Topomax for migraine because the side effects at first are bad. I was nuttier than the proverbial fruitcake. If I had had a job I could not have functioned in it, but thankfully since nobody but hubby, kids (and then they were older teens), and a dog had any expectations of me I could muddle through. I still have terrible recall ability and virtually no short term memory (I feel like Dori on Nemo which I think the names Dori and Nemo are great for a boy and girl chi.) But bad or not you cannot pry my Topomax out of my cold, dead hands I love it that much because I am headache-free. Sorry, I know you didn't ask me to build you a clock about my medicine.


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## AussieLass (Mar 1, 2012)

I read up a lot about this drug as soon as I saw your post - I was thinking I'd trick the Doc into giving it to me for weight loss, I'm still very small, some would say slim, but I'm just very antsy about the extra weight going on since I stopped smoking - I'm now up to a US12 and want to be my usual US8. 

However, I decided at the end of the day I can't be bothered, too many risks of other side-effects and, in any event, my problem is all down to my own actions, not natural cause so it's my fault & I need to work on that. You're right about the generic, lots of people said it was terrible. I can't believe you poor people and what you have to pay for meds, our Govt. picks up the tab on all of ours - but I guess that's why we pay $20 pack cigarettes & $50 bottle scotch - the taxes on that pay for our free medical & super cheap drugs, as they should imo!!!!


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