# boyfriends....jealous of your dogs??



## harvey's property (Sep 22, 2010)

so heres the deal ive had my harvey for a week now i have took him over as a friend is moving away for good and cant take him....he is beautiful hes a long haired chi and full of life

the problem.......the boyfriend is unhappy i have a new "friend" he is quite jelouse of everything like if i take him in the car or out for a walk or cuddle him he proper kicks off......he even text me saying i love the dog more than him and hes sick of it!

is this for real? has anyone else had this??? i dunno what to do i have another dog and act the same with her he jus dosent like the chi hes always calling him a rat and pickin on him and its really getting to me now, how can he like my springer and hate my chi? there both daft as rags and loveable as hell i dont get it! 

any advice appriciated


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## cprcheetah (May 4, 2009)

Because some men have a 'little' dog complex. I married a man who hates big dogs....and loves little dogs. He says they are less maintenance. He loves Zoey, and Georgie, but can barely stand my golden retriever, Shellie. I would express your feelings to your boyfriend and let him know you aren't happy with his comments and the way he's treating your dog. He could just be trying to get a 'rise/reaction' out of you.


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## KittyD (Apr 2, 2010)

If I may ask, how old are you and the BF?


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## London (Jul 4, 2009)

How old is your boyfriend?


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Lol he sounds like my 10 year old daughter!!! I'd tell him to grow a pair!!


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## MChis (Oct 13, 2009)

Oh good grief. Sounds like he's got a bit of an insecurity going on. Maybe he needs to get a Chi for himself? LOL I think my hubby was a wee bit jealous of Matilda when I first brought her home because she followed me & had to be on me all the time. If he tried to hold her, she'd beat feet back to me.  BUT...after a few weeks & time spent with her while I napped before work (I work graveyard shift) they formed a bond & he has been head over heals for her since. Even now...if he's home she prefers him. But that is ok...because I have the rest! hehehe

I would suggest he spend some time with her maybe...and also don't forget about spending some time with HIM alone. As silly as that sounds - put yourself in his position & see how you would feel if the rolls were reversed. I only say that because sometimes I get irked with my hubby for showing more love to Matilda than to me. hehe But I tease him about it more than I let it bother me.


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## Aust Chi Mumma (Sep 15, 2010)

When I first got my Chi baby my guy was fine with it, but then after about 2 weeks her was always saying things like 'did you think about US when you got her or just YOU?"

this is because we go out clubbing less now, cause i want to stay home with Fiddle. 

But he has adapted now. and loves her! Just always reminds me that when we get our own place we are getting a rottie. haha

i told him when we get our own place i want a small pack of chi's! haha


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## tricializ (Jun 1, 2010)

Seriously, he is acting very immature. Personally, that would be a huge turnoff to me. And I would tell him that.


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## Brodysmom (Jan 8, 2009)

tricializ said:


> Seriously, he is acting very immature. Personally, that would be a huge turnoff to me. And I would tell him that.


Agree 100%!


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## cherper (May 8, 2009)

he sounds very jealous and insecure. Just think if you stick with him, you'll have to put up with his insecurities about other things too, like spending time with friends, family, etc. Not Good!


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## Tanna (Jan 29, 2009)

tricializ said:


> Seriously, he is acting very immature. Personally, that would be a huge turnoff to me. And I would tell him that.


I agree with this 100%. Tell him to grow up.


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## LDMomma (Mar 28, 2009)

Is your relationship generally good and healthy?

Jealous over a dog is a big red flag to me.


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## cherper (May 8, 2009)

ldmomma said:


> is your relationship generally good and healthy?
> 
> Jealous over a dog is a big red flag to me.


yep!!!!


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## Mom of 4 Chi's (Apr 3, 2009)

That should send up red flags! I mean being jealous over a dog is just silly and it sounds like he is jealous and quite insecure. Maybe he will get over it, but when is enough going to be enough? If your relationship progresses will it be your children that he becomes jealous of? Friends? Family members? Co-workers?
There is no room in a relationship for jealousy. More often than not it just gets worse. Put a stop to it now or kick him to the curb!


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## cherper (May 8, 2009)

Jealous men like that scare me. I mean those are the ones that usually have the domestic violence issues, and sometimes that progresses. YIKES! I may be jumping to conclusions but you gotta be careful!!


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## Gingersmom (Mar 12, 2009)

if you have to choose between boyfriend or furbaby...easy peasy..definitely the furbaby...find a boyfriend that not only loves you but loves the furbaby!!!!!


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## cprcheetah (May 4, 2009)

Gingersmom said:


> if you have to choose between boyfriend or furbaby...easy peasy..definitely the furbaby...find a boyfriend that not only loves you but loves the furbaby!!!!!


Agreed! I quit dating guys who weren't goo goo ga ga over my babies, or didn't like them as my animals are as important to me as the oxygen/air I breathe so my spouse definitely had to be one who loved my critters, and he definitely does. He spoils them just as bad as I do. Also it is vice versa, if my critters didn't like them there was often times a reason


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## LostLakeLua (Sep 6, 2009)

I got lucky. Eleanor attached to my bf immediately.. soo.. yeah. He can't make fun of me because his dog is identical; ha!


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

My daughters sperm donor (read psycho ex nearly hubby) was extremely jealous and possesive to the point we were shopping in marks and Spencer and this little geeky guy yelled next I went trotting over with the tosspot in tow and tosser kicked off apparently he was looking at me wrong that obv meant I was gonna sleep with him :roll: anyway he got thrown out the store

I dunno how old you and this bf are but I will assume you're late teens early 20s and say bfs come in and out your life our dogs don't the dogs won't be pissed with you for asking to do the dishes men will!!

Honestly I'd be telling your bf to shape up or get lost if he's concerned about a dog then frankly the dudes a total knob, find someone who accepts you for you and what you bring 

I'm 28, single mum with 2 chis I'm single but that's because I've not found mr right I've gotta lot of baggage and if a man won't accept my child and my dogs then he doesn't deserve to be part of our life!!! My babies (all 3) mean more to me than a bf who just wants his leg over and frankly I'm too old for those cameos

Just my 2 pennies worth it's too early for me to be all philosophical


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## pigeonsheep (Nov 8, 2008)

if your jealous over a pet....somethings just not right in the head really...wow. i would dump him in a flash. i dont care who came first, jealousy issues starting from something small will only escalate to bigger things which will leave u hairless at the end. he sounds like hes 14 or so


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## Terri (Aug 21, 2009)

I can relate in way, but not to the extent of your BF.
My man wasnt happy when i got Darla and Daisy really, and he does say all i care about is them, but he does love Darla especially.
He calls her his puppy, and she does love him.
He is a huge animal lover, but prefers bigger dogs in general like the huskies we share.
He refuses to do stuff for them when he is being in a mood and says i wanted them so i deal with it all!
That is fine by me, except when i am feeling unwell, a little more help would be lovely and him beng less petty, but it's fine.
He knows the score though, he would go no question! before i would ever lose my babies.


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## LadyJ (Aug 20, 2010)

A little jealousy is normal, but this guy sounds like too much. My ex-husband was jealous of everything I had or did, including my dogs. I found out he had been following me, checking the mileage on the car, and he accused me of having affairs with everyone from my boss to the guy down the street. I didn't, of course! I would be looking at this guy very hard and deciding if I wanted to spend any more time listening to his accusations. Boyfriends/husbands are supposed to be loving and supportive, not nasty and accusatory. He should be cuddling with you and the dogs rather than being critical. Life's too short to spend any of it being unhappy!

Jeanette


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## LadyJ (Aug 20, 2010)

I know a lot of people involved in Bichon rescue. This is a true story. The phone rang one morning very early and the woman got up to answer it. Husband stayed in bed. She came back and told him it was a friend in rescue who said they were taking in 15 Bichons that had been seized from a puppy mill and they needed help. She said she told them they would come and get some of the dogs, maybe half of them, to foster. She said they would need to draw about $5,000 out of their savings to cover all of the vet expenses as some of the dogs were in really bad shape, none were spayed, neutered, no vaccinations, etc. 

She said her husband sat on the edge of the bed and listened to everything she said, then sat there and thought about it for a while. Then he said, "Well, I'd better get dressed to get down to the bank before we go pick up the dogs!" The woman said she never loved him as much as she did at that moment! Some of her story was true, they needed to take in a couple of Bichons that had been rescued and would need to spend some money on them, but not nearly $5,000.

Now that's the man I want to marry!!

Jeanette


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## woodard2009 (Aug 4, 2010)

I had an ex-boyfriend that used to say "You care more about the dog than you do me" & I said "You're right, she doesn't talk back to me & she does what she's told" hence EX! That relationship lasted 5-years too long!! 
I was like you tho, COULD NOT believe a grown man would be so jealous of a little dog. I was a little nervous leaving my dog alone with him because of his insecurities. Haha


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## Chihuahuasloveme (Jan 8, 2010)

I agree with what everyone else says it's not normal to be jealous of a pet, you probably have already noticed by now that he is all around jealous. Your username is also "Harvey's Property". I am assuming you guys are quite young but I hope you realize that it isn't normal nor should be tolerated. 

My bf gets jealous if Ninja gives me too much attention he's always trying to get him to come to him and tries to say that he is HIS dog but its just all for fun because everyone knows he's a mamas boy and is attached to my hip lol. 

I hope your bf can gain some maturity and that you don't end up getting rid of your baby over his actions. 

I would try getting hhim to spend more time with her also as someone else mentioned maybe then he will grow an attachment to her also!

Goodluck!


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## Ivy's mom (Feb 15, 2008)

I agree with everyone here!!! If a dog causes jealousy than evry other thing that happens in the future will be the same. Some men have such issues with being insecure!!! I say to him, grow up and get some balls!!! Life is too short to waste time letting something like this bother him. And for you I'm sure if you think back, that is if you have been dating long, that this isn't the first time. Good luck

Lori


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## N*T*M*4U (Nov 10, 2008)

LOL....you should ask him to go pick up some doggy treats ....


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## TLI (Sep 3, 2008)

Anyone, male or female that is jealous over a pup has much deeper issues than the attention you are showing to your dog. You could end up spending your life (alone) feeling overwhelmed with trying to please him, or worse yet be abused mentally and, or physically. Sounds like it’s already reached mentally. If he is picking on the dog, that should be stopped. What will you do if him picking on the pup becomes him hitting the dog? I would sit him down and discuss the situation, once, and if he continued to act this way, I’d get out faster than his head could spin.


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## pigeonsheep (Nov 8, 2008)

N*T*M*4U said:


> LOL....you should ask him to go pick up some doggy treats ....


love it!!! LOL!!! :hello1:


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## Kristin (Nov 12, 2004)

I agree with everyone else. My dogs have bonded well with my bf. He knows that where I go they go and that's the end of the story. Of course, they were also gifts from him soo..yeah lol.

And, I would also like to know how old you & your boyfriend are. This does not seem a normal reaction for an adult to have.


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## CindeRae (Jun 20, 2010)

It's funny, my husband says I love Cin more than him sometimes. But its always said kind of jokingly. Cin and I traveled from Arizona to Vancouver together and moved in with my husband (then boyfriend), so I think we'll always have a separate bond that he can't completely understand. But that being said, its never been a huge serious issue and he adores Cinder completely. She's bonded to him and loves him to death as well.

If its really an issue in your relationship, there must be other things at work...whether hidden or out in the open. I hope you can work it out and be happy whatever happens. Also, maybe your pup and him need some time to bond? Then he can understand your bond more.


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## LadyJ (Aug 20, 2010)

*Jealous boyfriend*



TLI said:


> Anyone, male or female that is jealous over a pup has much deeper issues than the attention you are showing to your dog. You could end up spending your life (alone) feeling overwhelmed with trying to please him, or worse yet be abused mentally and, or physically. Sounds like it’s already reached mentally. If he is picking on the dog, that should be stopped. What will you do if him picking on the pup becomes him hitting the dog? I would sit him down and discuss the situation, once, and if he continued to act this way, I’d get out faster than his head could spin.


Right on! If he's that jealous of a dog, how jealous would he be of a child? If you think he might actually harm the dog, what might he do to a child? He's just one tiny step from hurting the dog or you. Time to exit, stage left!!!

Jeanette


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## MndaNGmoe (Oct 20, 2009)

I think they can be jealous because they just want all the attention your giving the little one. That's how my boyfriend is anyway.. He loves Gizzy but sometimes gets irritated and a little jealous when ill cuddle up to Gizzy and not him. Hehe ;-)


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## harvey's property (Sep 22, 2010)

well i never expected this many replys haha i shud come on more often haha 

were 22 so no not really that young he is a very insacure person really and like his family are well to do they own 3 farms one of which i keep my horse on and thats how i met him. but i dont get how someone can be perfectly ok with my springer spaniel who is an ideot at the best of times like most springers and then hate my chi who is a total angel he jus sleeps and plays with his toys all day never making a peep i dont get it. but harvey adores him and always trys to get attention off him in a good way not an annoying way and he jus calls harvey worse than crap.......honestly yas will know how i feel i feel like my dogs and horses are my children and i jus dunno it angers me when he calls harvey! it proper boils me blood

whats a nice way i can say......leave harvey alone whilst also being abrupt enough so he knows im not playing?

i think hes a controling person in general ive been with him only 3 months and ive had 100001 arguments with him over him not trusting me i even deleted facebook so he wasnt parinoid and deleted guys off me phone for him non of which i have asked him to do cos im not parinoid.....but i draw the line at jelousy over my animals they are my life

as for the is he jelosue when im at work im on the sick i have an eating dissorder and depression not from my bf i had this before i met him and he did get with me knowing i had "baggage" in my life in the form of mental dissorders so i guess he wanted me when no one else did so i should respect him for that


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## KayC (May 3, 2005)

If he is that controlling after only 3 months into the relationship, it will only get worse. Please move on before he gets abusive.


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## Starla (Sep 1, 2010)

wow... I agree with everyone here telling you to LEAVE HIM. I've been down that road once and believe me it'll get much worse....My ex was a little like this guy and it cost me the life of one of pets. Jealousy and paranoia like that is unhealthy especially if you're already carrying "baggage". This guy sounds like a real creep. Do the right thing for you and your pets and leave before it gets worse..


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## harvey's property (Sep 22, 2010)

yeah i do feel like cutting and running.....its a dog for godsake. i feel like he only got this bad when my bullimia made me loose more weight so i do get looked at he thinks its ppl "wanting me".....my parents say its ppl thinkin "shes too skinny" and i think there thinkin "she looks after her body". urgh i dunno i can undertand why he wud be slightly parinoid his ex cheeted on him loads and he loved her dearly they were together for 2 years but is this an excuse to not trust me??


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## Gingersmom (Mar 12, 2009)

One, your life is out of control hence the bulimia(which you control)...two, drop the control freak and three--*get some HELP*. Once you have your life back in control and the bulimia at bay...then look for a loving relationship that you may not feel like you deserve at the moment but you really do. He's just a low life preying on your low self esteem issues..money doesn't matter..there are low lifes in all economic situations.


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## 17428 (Jul 10, 2009)

*It can escalate to children*

I would take this as a huge red flag.
If you marry him and have kids,he could
be jealious of them also.If he is an only
child it could be even worse.
Been there ,done that.Doesnt look good.
Just be aware of this issue possibly escalating.


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## michele (Jan 12, 2009)

Don't put yourself down "Guess he wanted me when nobody else did " that's no way to talk about yourself,think your confidence has had a bad knock(maybe by your BF) you sound a very nice person and i'm sure there are a lot of people out there for you.I would rather be on my own with my Chis than put up with a control freak,get out there and find a bloke who respects you for who you are


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## 18453 (Feb 6, 2010)

Gingersmom said:


> One, your life is out of control hence the bulimia(which you control)...two, drop the control freak and three--*get some HELP*. Once you have your life back in control and the bulimia at bay...then look for a loving relationship that you may not feel like you deserve at the moment but you really do. He's just a low life preying on your low self esteem issues..money doesn't matter..there are low lifes in all economic situations.


I find the first sentence in your post really upsetting I have suffered from anorexia for 7 years and am older than the OP!!! Any eating disorder is OUT OF YOUR control hence why we relapse over and over again I've been in recovery for a year and s relapse is something were discussing ATM 

This is totally off topic but i feel the need to justify what eating disorders are about! It doesn't mean you are out of control, loosig the plot, just want to be thin it's a coping method, some drink, setake drugs, some sleep around, compulsive eat, binge and purge (bulimia) or restrict (anorexia)! 

It's not a case of getting better and everything being ok! It's a serious condition that is totally misunderstood and a v taboo subject it is not easy to get out of it and I have had the worst year of my life I was far happier when I wasn't aware and was in total denial but I was about to be admitted into hospital.

So no her life isn't out of control and she doesn't control her ED when you're ill it controls you as you are so consumed by food and weight!

Anyway Sam you're bf sounds like a douchebag you are 22 have your entire life ahead of you only you can make the descision and trust me I know it's hard I was in an abusive relationship for 7 Years the post I said about being in m&s was the start of it it got far worse. I hope you make the right decision for you!


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## cherper (May 8, 2009)

You have got to get away from him and end the relationship. Trust me being alone would be better than being with someone like that. 
I had an aunt who was married to a jealous man. Her life was MISERABLE. He wouldn't even let her go to the doctor, only is she was really sick and my mom had to go with her.(because he thought she and the doc may flirt or something).
She ended up with breast cancer (which would've been caught waaay earlier if she had been going for regular yearly checks) and she suffered with it for 8 years, had both breasts removed and died at the age of 38. She had 4 fairly young children too.


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## Gingersmom (Mar 12, 2009)

Daisydoo said:


> I find the first sentence in your post really upsetting I have suffered from anorexia for 7 years and am older than the OP!!! Any eating disorder is OUT OF YOUR control hence why we relapse over and over again I've been in recovery for a year and s relapse is something were discussing ATM
> 
> This is totally off topic but i feel the need to justify what eating disorders are about! It doesn't mean you are out of control, loosig the plot, just want to be thin it's a coping method, some drink, setake drugs, some sleep around, compulsive eat, binge and purge (bulimia) or restrict (anorexia)!
> 
> ...


Well, to clarify, her life is out of control..and I should've said get thee to a DR whom can help her--which she does control whether she does or doesn't..it seems to me she's giving out a major cry for help. I know it's still a misunderstood condition--but the one factor they do know is the self esteem issue. Not arguing just clarifying.


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## jessicao32 (Jul 21, 2010)

I honestly think alot of guys get jealous of our dogs...i know i had one...kicked him out...the good thing about these little ones they dont talk much or make a fuss..they also cuddle with you sad, mad, sick, cold, hot..they dont care they love you no matter what. he just needs to grow up but...BUt i dont think the age matter in this.....


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## cprcheetah (May 4, 2009)

It will only get worse not better. My brother was actually on the receiving end of a VERY controlling relationship, they got married, she took away his cell phone (which my parents were paying for) took away his credit cards (she was a stay at home 'pregnant' person...used as an excuse not to work she was perfectly capable of it), made him move in with her crazy parents. They had a kid together and were separated/divorced before the kid was 1 year old. My brother left as he couldn't take it anymore. She was/is a nutjob, and now a little 3 year old boy has to suffer because of it. She remarried not even a year after they were divorced and controls her new hubby the same way.


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## KayC (May 3, 2005)

Let's keep this thread on track please.


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## harvey's property (Sep 22, 2010)

my life is out of control in all fairness  and bullimia is only for now i seem to go through phases of restricting and binging and always purging but that was due to another relationship being messed up and abusive.... anyway on track haha i spoke to him yesterday about all this and was like "love me then love my dogs" i told him he must treat them equally and not torment harvey for the sake of having a "laugh" we will see how it goes but i will not tollorate the controlingness any longer hes been told to shape up or ship out.....he seemed upset but understood and said he didnt realise he was being controlling so we will see if it changes. i know there is a like 99% it wont cos ya cant change ppl but maybe he really didnt realise he was being this way OR maybe he is jus a tit we shall watch this space and see 

thank you for the eye opener in seeing that he totaly was being a arse and he wasnt normal at all and that there was a problem and ill be sure to keep my eyes and ears open for any more warning sighns and i have also told my mam so shes gonna keep me on track if he turns into a bigger arse ill give him this one chance but my dogs mean more to me than anything well and my horse but yeah my pets are my world hes just in my world with them and needs to learn to deal if he wants to stay there


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## Gingersmom (Mar 12, 2009)

:cheer: Good for you!


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## TLI (Sep 3, 2008)

Having someone like him in your life when you have other mental health issues is only going to make your problems worse. I mean this in the most kind possible way. But you need to focus on your own health and well being before even considering trying to make a go of a relationship; and certainly not an abusive one as this one sounds to be. Best wishes. I truly hope things get better for you.


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## Deme (Aug 18, 2009)

I'm 44 years old so to me 22 is very young and too young to be getting too serious. It does sound petty the way your BF is reacting but not being there I can't take sides.

Could it be that he is used to your other dog and it is like part of the family, all settled in etc. Now you get another and of course your gonna make a huge fuss over it, more than usual and he is feeling pushed out. 

When you chat do you always mention the new dog? Does each conversation slowly turn back to the dog?

Men are very insecure even though they act tough (especially in front of mates) and he is likely feeling that you do love the dog more than him. To him his feelings are real and its how it is effecting him.

However even though I think 22 is still young it is still an age when your mature enough to handle situations. Getting jealous to that extent is beyond a joke, how would he handle a new born baby, he'd get even less attention.

Your Bulimic, that is something you need to sort out, he could be struggling to cope knowing your making yourself sick. It sounds like you are both stressed and having problems which both need looking at.

Hope everything works out for you both

Deme x


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## harvey's property (Sep 22, 2010)

at the begining all i did was talk about harvey i adored him hes all ive ever wanted a little dog i can take everywhere with me hug and dress up and make pretty a dog of my own...our other dog is a family pet and is old now so dosent really do much whereas harvey is a barrel of fun wanting to be in at everything and my bf dosent really do house pets they have springers that live in kennels and are gun dogs so dont get the attachment people like us get to our dogs they are our children. 

he gets verry upset about my ED but as i always explain he knew i had mental health issues when we got together because i have my horse on his mams stable yard so he seen me at my very worst and was still there wanting me to go on a date with him and telling me i was amazing.....hes not abusive at all he wud neva hit me or attack me he jus gets abit moody when i give harvey all my attention and possibly thats my folt for being too playfull with harvey when he is round....im not sure im no good at relationships


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## woodard2009 (Aug 4, 2010)

I don't know if you're in a bad relationship or not, but you should never have to justify yourself when you play, love & hold your Chi. Our significant others should be understanding. You have concerns about this because you posted this topic. I had a jealous bf before & it made me wonder how he would be if we ever had children. These little dogs are demanding & ask for lots of attention, hugs & kisses & you should never be made to feel guilty to give that to them.
My x used to say "I think you love that dog more than me" & I replied
"You're right, my dog doesn't talk back or argue & loves me unconditionally" Haha
Some people are raised that having a dog in the house is wrong & they don't see a dog like one of our children. To them it's just an animal. It's hard to blame these people for their beliefs because they were raised this way. But if he loves you, he should be happy to see you have something in your life that you love very much.


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## unchienne (Mar 29, 2009)

I agree with some of the other posts here. Seriously immature and a major turn-off. Also, if he's displaying such immature, selfish and jealous behavior over a dog, how will he act if you decide to have children or just encounter other stages of life that take the focus off of him? Will you constantly have to reinforce and reassure him through every stressful encounter? That is exhausting and, quite frankly, not worth the effort.


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## rubia (Jul 3, 2008)

I have chosen the chi over a man ....it seems funny to say it that way. It is way less stress..lol :coolwink:


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